Random question.I got a lap dance last year from a woman at a strip club.I never told anyone about it.I was wondering,is this considered cheating?What do you guys think?Why or why not?I wondered about it when it happened,and I just watched a television show where a husband gets a lap dance and the wife gets upset.Curious to see what you all think.
If a husband gets a lap dance from another woman is it cheating?
Jack I
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So I'm guessing you didn't ejaculate by grinding. Did you pay her to do something extra? Like a BJ or let you jerk off? If so, that goes a little beyond a regular lap dance. It's leaving the realm of men's entertainment and moving into the realm of getting yourself a prostitute.
Thanks.I haven't been to any strip clubs at all since this incident.It was only my 3rd time going in our six year marriage.Strip clubs aren't my thing for the most part.All three times I went with a co-worker and if he hadn't asked me,I definitely would have never went.
I disagree with those you say there is no difference between a man who cheats on his wife or gets a lap dance and goes home and feels guilty,wishes it didn't happen and can't stop thinking about it,and a man who gets a lap dance and goes home and kisses his wife and acts like nothing happened.And I didn't say that makes it okay.I'm just saying that I do believe there is a difference.And that while I was feeling bad about it,this is how I tried to rationalize it...But I know that there are no excuses and this was a bad thing that happened.I was just wondering what other people's takes were.
It pisses me right off and makes me very sad at the same time that there are guys like this out there. Guys who think it's OK to get a little action on the side, and as long as their wife doesn't know about it, it won't hurt her. Guys whose wives trust them, and yet who think nothing of what they're doing.
Some kind of marriage that is. You, OP, are a liar and a cheater. You are lying to yourself and to your wife about the fact you cheated on her. You paid another woman and you got your rocks off. Just like if you hired a hooker, or had a happy ending massage.
Yuck.
Some kind of marriage that is. You, OP, are a liar and a cheater. You are lying to yourself and to your wife about the fact you cheated on her. You paid another woman and you got your rocks off. Just like if you hired a hooker, or had a happy ending massage.
Yuck.
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Sad to say, Hope.... not really surprised
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Yes it's a sexual thing between two people. My option is many people are too lenient and dont believe anything short of sex is cheating. I disagree with that and feel its very bad for marraiges and bonding. Intimate sexual moments should be between husband and wife only.
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What if a guy watches a movie and it's so stinkin' hot that the guy leaks precum or even fully cums, without masturbating, just because of what he sees? Is it cheating? What if he goes to a friend's bachelor party before the friend's wedding and watches a stripper entertain his friend, and cums? What then?
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can God make a rock so big that even he himself can't lift it?
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Well that one is easy. If he is God defined as a being to whom all things are possible then he can make that rock and in addition he can lift it too!
Must be fun being God
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I think the fact that you're hiding your escapade from your wife and are, yourself, wondering if you cheated speaks volumes. If, in fact, you felt comfortable enough to relieve yourself of your guilt by being upfront with your wife, then your internal struggle would be solved. You came here to see how many would 'be in your corner' and then use that information as some sort of 'justification' when telling your wife. But being there are a number of members telling you 'it was cheating' has now totally defeated the whole purpose of posting.
Yes, cheating is: anything you have to hide, lie, or sneak to do. If you have to resort to any of these behaviors then you are cheating on your SP, period.
You need to love/respect your wife enough to tell her the truth and deal with whatever consequences there may be. Otherwise the guilt you're feeling will eat you from the inside out. Whether you like it or not it will affect your marriage.
Yes, cheating is: anything you have to hide, lie, or sneak to do. If you have to resort to any of these behaviors then you are cheating on your SP, period.
You need to love/respect your wife enough to tell her the truth and deal with whatever consequences there may be. Otherwise the guilt you're feeling will eat you from the inside out. Whether you like it or not it will affect your marriage.
Depends on the woman. My wife doesn't consider a lap dance cheating. I probably wouldn't be married to a woman who thought a lap dance was akin to adultery.
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Read a little more in to his further posts on the subject and he apparently had enough of a "lap dance" to make himself ejaculate. He is either the biggest hair trigger man post puberty or something else went down. This all happened a year ago and he has zero intention of telling his wife. Not sure why he brought it up, wanted validation for it or thinks a guy who cums in his jeans over a stripper makes him sexy.
No doubt he posted this using only his left hand.
You ejaculated? Was the stripper basically having clothed sex with you, or you just got overly excited from the visuals and light touching?
Because a standard lap dance sure isn't going to be enough to get most guys to bust their nut. You're leaving out some crucial details here...
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I would consider it cheating. But since he doesn't go to those places and neither do I
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If he wants to.
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Ohhhhh Jaquen, dear, there is a LOT more to his story than "just" this lapdance. I'd suggest reading his other threads to get the full picture.
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