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Random question.I got a lap dance last year from a woman at a strip club.I never told anyone about it.I was wondering,is this considered cheating?What do you guys think?Why or why not?I wondered about it when it happened,and I just watched a television show where a husband gets a lap dance and the wife gets upset.Curious to see what you all think.
 

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You did something sexual with something other than your wife.

Is this something you would have done with your wife there?

How would you feel about if is your wife were to give some guy a lap dance? Turn it around and think about that.
 

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For my husband? I would consider it cheating. But since he doesn't go to those places and neither do I, it's a moot point. He would consider it cheating, too, btw. My question though, Jack.... if you told your wife about it, what would HER answer be? Honestly, it doesn't matter what everyone else says... what matters is what your SPOUSE feels about it. Same with porn. Some see it as cheating, some don't. Only matters what your spouse thinks and WHY they think that way.
 

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. My question though, Jack.... if you told your wife about it, what would HER answer be? Honestly, it doesn't matter what everyone else says... what matters is what your SPOUSE feels about it. Same with porn. Some see it as cheating, some don't. Only matters what your spouse thinks and WHY they think that way.
:iagree:
These are discussions one should have with their spouse
antes de [ before ] they actually participate.
 

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How would you feel if your wife goes out dancing with the girls and ends up grinding into the boner of some dude?
I am not sure this is equivilant.

For example: the stripper has about 43 large guys in black tee shirts who will keep her from having to do a single thing she doesn't want to do. By law, she is not allowed to have sex. She is allowed to grind on him with her clothes on for a set fee.

Tell me the emotion or the leading on involved in that circumstance? He has no tie to her. She has no tie to him.

Dancing with another fellow is defintely an act of leading one on and has none of these safeguards (yes, some strippers prostitute themselves too, but we aren't talking about that)

**

I have a binary test for infidelity. Do I consider it cheating and does she consider it cheating.

My wife and I had this discussion and she had a rather narrow interpretation of cheating...much narrower than mine surprisingly. Seeing the many MANY loopholes she offered me, I started teasing her and she said "No...X would ALSO be cheating...because YOU believe it's cheating."

So...she got me.

If you wouldn't do it in front of your wife, or without her consent, don't do it.
 

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Going to a strip club and viewing the dancer while in an audience with many other men wouldn't be cheating in my eyes in my marriage, although I probably wouldn't like it, but I wouldn't get too angry about it.

A lap dance would bother me a lot. Words would be said. Most likely a lot of words and hand gestures would be used too.

Why aren't you discussing this with your wife instead of us?
 

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It depends on the relationship. There are certainly women who wouldn't mind this in the least, but if my partner went to a strip club and got a lap dance he'd be crossing a definite boundary in our relationship.
 

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I'd walk out of the marriage if my husband inquired a lap dance. He knows it too. I'd consider it cheating to a degree. Infidelity is a deal breaker for me.

Hubby does not like strippers and calls them "low class". The same goes for porn. Maybe my husband is different, but he focuses his attention on me. I really appreciate everything he does for me. Most of all my husband always treats me with respect. Getting a lap dance is disrespectful.
 

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You should talk to your wife about this. Agree with all the others who said that it really only matters what SHE thinks, not what WE think. Everyone has different boundaries and what they're okay and not okay with in a relationship.

I don't consider it cheating, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Luckily my SO and I don't go to strip clubs, anyway.
 

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I guess it would depend on the circumstances.

If you were there because it was YOUR idea, and YOU paid for the lap dance, I'd consider it cheating.

If you were there as part of a bachelor party scenario or a work-related scenario (celebrating that big deal you all closed) and the best man or boss or whomever paid for multiple people to get lap dances, I would NOT consider it cheating. Bad taste, yes; cheating, no.
 

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My wife would freak out if I did something like that behind her back. Knowing my past involvement with that sort of lifestyle when I was single, I would have to run whilst dodging barbells, dumbbells, weight plates and even the treadmill...
 

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This wouldn't bother me as long as he didn't try to hide it. I wouldn't consider it cheating.

Now, if this was a regular thing, that would be another story but it doesn't sound like it was for OP.

But it's totally true that it makes no difference what people on a forum think, only what the wife thinks.
 

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I'd walk out of the marriage if my husband inquired a lap dance. He knows it too. I'd consider it cheating to a degree. Infidelity is a deal breaker for me.

Hubby does not like strippers and calls them "low class". The same goes for porn. Maybe my husband is different, but he focuses his attention on me. I really appreciate everything he does for me. Most of all my husband always treats me with respect. Getting a lap dance is disrespectful.
InLove does your husband have a brother?? :eek:
 

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Not cheating. I always believed girlfriends or wives should be less nervous about their man going to a strip joint than a nightclub.
The strippers only want their $$$. In a night club single woman want to hook up.
Just my two cents. It wouldn't bother me if my wife went to one herself.
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