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Wife's texts while she was on the road.

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surveillance texting
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#121 · (Edited)
Hey, Phillyguy. It's been awhile. Any updates on your situation with your wife and her, uh, "friend"? Any more trips to Cleveland?:confused: I reread a text from InlandTex where he mentions making it clear to other guys who were relentlessly hitting on his wife to "back the fvck off!" and they apparently did. Have YOU contacted the other guy and confronted him with his texts to YOUR wife and told him the same thing? "Hey, Kurt, that's my wife you're trying to bed! Back the fvck off!" Let the sorry conniving POS know that you're on to his little game. That maybe your wife thinks it's all innocent, but you know better. And she needs to understand the thin ice she's skating on. If she truly doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize her family, she'd better back off and leave this sneaky POS alone before something DOES happen and you dump her. She'd better realize that her "friendship" with this slimeball is seriously affecting her marriage and her relationship with you.
 
#123 ·
lordmayhem said:
:iagree:

That's the disturbing, common denominator in all these affairs, and how they start. The WS does NOT immediately shoot this guy down. Instead, she goes along with it and tries to hide it and even makes plans to meet this guy in the future. Next thing you know its a PA. Then the excuse will be: We didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. :rolleyes:

This is why a BS should never believe that an affair was a simple mistake. Affairs take planning and secret communication. A mistake is making a left turn when you meant to make a right turn. An affair is a calculated, deliberate series of decisions.

The problem I see here is this person's very low boundaries. If she doesn't see anything wrong with what she did, then she's ripe for an affair. It may not be with this guy since he caught it before it could progress to a PA. But what about the future?
Click to expand...
True that. Players work MULTIPLE women at the same time. The women who sort of respond... Players try subtly time after time then wedge in either though a rough patch or boundary moving. Its a sick game but many are damn good at it. They can be patient because they are already banging 2 other mens wives. The ones they are working are just the replacements for the ones who get caught or feel guilty and stop.

The woman makes that subtle decision to walk a bit on the bad side of boundaries then more then more and soon the player has his in... literally.
 
Discussion starter · #124 ·
I'm here. Been reading from a distance periodically. Most of you have been very helpful.

It's been about 6 weeks since the trip to Cleveland. There has been no contact that I can see since I demanded she cut off all contact. I've checked our cell phone bill and her phone often - seems to be no contact. Of course she could talk to him on work line or work email and I wouldn't know. That said even when we were just dating she would always be "strictly professional" on her work phone and email. I also searched high and low for a "burner" came up empty. I found many email accounts that she had over the years - all just shopping related though. Searched the browser histories on her work computer, personal computer, iphone and ipad. Nothing on there.

We've both been trying to make more of an effort for each other, as best we can with a 3 yo and 5 yo at home. Dinner out, late night take-out, drinks. Our intimacy time is up to 1-2 a week over the past several weeks, up from 1-2 a month. I know conspiracy theorists may say this is part of her plan to throw me off the scent. We will see.

She has been apologetic, didn't mean to hurt me, etc etc. I am the only man she has had or wants, now and forever. Everyday is better for me at least. A month ago I wasn't sleeping. The test will be the next Cleveland trip. She has promised she wouldn't contact him. They no longer work together so have no reason to meet. Next Cleveland trip was supposed to be early Feb, so will be extra vigilent then.
 
#125 ·
PhillyGuy13 said:
Next Cleveland trip was supposed to be early Feb, so will be extra vigilent then.
Click to expand...
Ask to go with her to make it a get away trip and see what she says. My wife does that all the time when I have to go out of town for a trip. I always say, fine, more fun time for me to help relieve some stress from work :D
 
#126 ·
I would do a search mid Jan 2014 then another mid Feb 2014. Note not quite so extensive as before.

Past there I would do another search say May 15 then one Oct 15 2014.

Holidays are lesser affair times.

Between those times just keep your radar up at half power. Its possible you have shut it down. Its possible she meant nothing bad and tested boundaries and will never do it again. Also understand the nature of a player which this guy may well be. Players are a patient lot and will periodically go fishing.

There are numerous cases on here where a player probed and probed and probed and waited months of subtle probing and won into the pants of a married woman simply by subtle persistance... combined with the simple fact that many women LOVE attention.
 
#127 ·
You need to make it clear to her that she is not to respond when he attempts to contact her - and he will. Didn't she tell him that she would return in February and to hold the date open?

Expect him to try to contact her to confirm the date and her intention to "hang" with him.
 
Discussion starter · #129 ·
Thanks again folks happy holidays to all.

Yes she had given him save the dates and I do expect him to reach out to her. However the dates she gave him now are incorrect- company changed the meeting. So a good test will be when he reaches out to her. If he somehow knows the "new" dates- well that answers all my questions lol.

And others mentioned me c0ckblocking him. If/when he does reach out to her again, he will hear from me - very publicly.
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#130 ·
Keep us posted Philly. You got a bunch of guys over here sitting on pins and needles hoping for a happy ending for you two. Hope you had a happy Christmas with your little family. Love those two little ones. I can tell you from experience that they'll grow up unbelievably fast.
 
Discussion starter · #133 · (Edited)
Wife got word yesterday from her job to schedule the Cleveland trip. She told me, I tensed up.

Got the "you need to trust me" speech.

I explained I want to trust you, but after the texts I need to be careful. More apologies, more statements that I am the only man she loves and wants to be with. The thought of being with another man makes her sick.

I said you promised not to contact him, and if he contacts you I am to be notified. She agreed. She then tried defending him again, that he was really drunk and doesn't even remember what he texted her. They had spoken for (supposedly) final time on the next week, work related. She says he told her about a job interview he was having, which was the same story he told her the week before, which proves he was really drunk since he doesn't remember telling her the first time. I said, listen, I have married guy friends, and while they are great friends (to me), most of them step out on their wives. One track minds. she said just because my friends are like that doesn't mean everyone is. I agree, but I think this guy is...

Anyway, I think I trust her. But seeing is believing. We will see what happens in Cleveland.
 
#134 ·
This is unusual for me. Your sweetie is NOT my wife, so why am I sitting here with a lump in my gut? ! God, I hope she doesn't mess up on her trip! I think a lot of us here have taken quite a shine to you, Philly, and we're upset that YOU'RE upset. Hang in there and keep good thoughts.
 
Discussion starter · #135 ·
Thanks Thummper, I think things are going to work out. I'm hoping this incident scared her as much as me. I've never been known for my patience and coupled with a bit of OCD it's all been driving me nuts.

There's a lot of good people on this site, many with situations much more horrible than mine. My story seems much more tame than most, so I appreciate everyone's support.
 
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PhillyGuy13
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