[lifeistooshort]

As a woman I agree with most of the posts here. She is enjoying and on some level encouraging the attention. She may not at this point intend to go through with an affair but I do think part of her is contemplating it, perhaps as a fantasy at this point. Unfortunately this is a slippery slope and before you know it she'll be crying that she had a ons/she's sorry/etc, assuming you get anything at that point. You'd better draw and enforce some boundaries now, while the damage is minimal. This is how many affairs start, and you're fortunate to know about it at this point.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[weightlifter]

As a woman I agree with most of the posts here. She is enjoying and on some level encouraging the attention. She may not at this point intend to go through with an affair but I do think part of her is contemplating it, perhaps as a fantasy at this point. Unfortunately this is a slippery slope and before you know it she'll be crying that she had a ons/she's sorry/etc, assuming you get anything at that point. You'd better draw and enforce some boundaries now, while the damage is minimal. This is how many affairs start, and you're fortunate to know about it at this point.
Posted via Mobile Device

Quoted for truth.

 

[weightlifter]

BrickHouse Security | Home Security Camera Systems | GPS Surveillance

Pen voice recorder 80 bucks. Posters that have used it say its great. Just drop in purse, really works as a pen too. Odds are most women will not see it in the bottom of a purse.

Cheaters love to talk in a car when they know no one can hear them. LOL that's why he needs to put one under her seat. They will general turn down the radio to talk on the phone.

Agree with all axcept the turn down the radio part. Inevitably something important is said while the radio news guy is blabbing.

 

[ThePheonix]

From the sentiment of the texts and the way OM is speaking, he's making it clear he's not playing games. They're fixing to meet up and have drinks alone then go to a hotel. That's not game playing or flirting. She's reciprocating his advances. She's very aware of what she's doing. Author of her own destruction she definitely is.

Back in the day when a chick would tell me she wanted to meet up with me ("Hope you are around when I am back here") after I made it crystal clear I wanted to get in her pants, I was home free. My money is on this guy scoring.

 

[JustPuzzled]

From the sentiment of the texts and the way OM is speaking, he's making it clear he's not playing games. They're fixing to meet up and have drinks alone then go to a hotel. That's not game playing or flirting. She's reciprocating his advances. She's very aware of what she's doing. Author of her own destruction she definitely is.

Yoda, is that you?
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[SaltInWound]

Yoda, is that you?
Posted via Mobile Device

:rofl:

 

[lordmayhem]

I'm also a big believer in the active c*ckblock.

Let him know his body will have to cash checks his penis writes.

:iagree:

It's a husband's natural right and duty to c0ck block. It's called protecting your marriage.

 

[lordmayhem]

We have iOS 7.0 iPhones and from everything I can tell none of that spyware is compatible yet believe me I've looked.

Not that I want to sound like I'm defending her but she didn't delete ANYTHING until after I confronted her. I don't think she would have picked and choosen what to delete before hand, she would have deleted the whole convo before she got home.

There is only one way to find out: Check the backup files of the iphones and the iPad. Go to the computer which she syncs the phone and iPad to. iTunes creates a backup file whenever the iphone and ipad is synced to it. Its this backup file that you can possibly retrieve deleted texts.

There are several programs you can use to access the backup files...and you don't have to jail break the phone or install spyware....yet. The only drawback is that if she decides to go deeper underground and use a texting app that uses data only, then the texts will not be stored in the backup file. But lets assume for now, that she's not using a cheater texting app yet.

Decipher TextMessage

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iPhone Backup Extractor

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Wondershare Data Recovery for iTunes

Wondershare Dr.Fone for iOS (Mac): Mac iPhone Data Recovery | OFFICIAL

 

[Nujabes]

Is OP getting intimidated by our advice here?

If you're reading OP, we're here to help not to bash or super criticize your decision, though if you made a wrong one we'll probably have to.

All we're saying is there are red flags and from experiences of stories we've seen come and go here on TAM, we've seen and heard similar ones like yours and helping you out before it gets out of control. So don't be shy and update us a little bit.



EDIT - It's been 2 days since his last post, I feel like it was a week. Probably too much free time on my hands with them turkeys.

 

[InlandTXMM]

From the sentiment of the texts and the way OM is speaking, he's making it clear he's not playing games. They're fixing to meet up and have drinks alone then go to a hotel. That's not game playing or flirting. She's reciprocating his advances. She's very aware of what she's doing. Author of her own destruction she definitely is.

Totally agree. Women play this game better than we do. I often need a 2X4 across the head to see a woman flirting with me. But my wife can see it immediately. Women know; they know it's not innocent, but they mistakenly believe they can pull themselves back from the brink, so it's okay to walk up to it.

But a strong, confident OM will eventually get what he wants. It's biology.

 

[lordmayhem]

Totally agree. Women play this game better than we do. I often need a 2X4 across the head to see a woman flirting with me. But my wife can see it immediately. Women know; they know it's not innocent, but they mistakenly believe they can pull themselves back from the brink, so it's okay to walk up to it.

But a strong, confident OM will eventually get what he wants. It's biology.

:iagree:

That's the disturbing, common denominator in all these affairs, and how they start. The WS does NOT immediately shoot this guy down. Instead, she goes along with it and tries to hide it and even makes plans to meet this guy in the future. Next thing you know its a PA. Then the excuse will be: We didn't mean for it to happen, it just did.

This is why a BS should never believe that an affair was a simple mistake. Affairs take planning and secret communication. A mistake is making a left turn when you meant to make a right turn. An affair is a calculated, deliberate series of decisions.

The problem I see here is this person's very low boundaries. If she doesn't see anything wrong with what she did, then she's ripe for an affair. It may not be with this guy since he caught it before it could progress to a PA. But what about the future?

 

[Hicks]

This cannot be about her definition of things. It has to be about yours.

Her: "I would never jeapordize the marriage" You: "You already did that".

Her: "I still want to see him again" You: "Can you tell me why you would want anything to do with a man who only wants to hit on you?"

 

[weightlifter]

Totally agree. Women play this game better than we do. I often need a 2X4 across the head to see a woman flirting with me. But my wife can see it immediately. Women know; they know it's not innocent, but they mistakenly believe they can pull themselves back from the brink, so it's okay to walk up to it.

But a strong, confident OM will eventually get what he wants. It's biology.

Quoted for truth. I got NOTHING in my twenties. Now being a not fat mid forties with all my hair... NOTHING special about me other than that. Once a female coworker pointed out the signs I was like holy sh!t. I had a real bad (good?) one a couple weeks ago at work. Hair twirling and everything. It got to the point I started subtly clicking my wedding ring on my IPAD. She finally got the hint and stopped. Wierd. She may well have meant nothing by it but still... brinksmanship.

 

[Racer]

If he’s still reading, this one is fairly simple. You need to tell your wife that while she wants him to just be a friend, he decided he wants to be more. It’s not fair, it’s not cool, but it’s the reality. So that means she’ll be tested over and over and he won’t be satisfied with only a friendship. It also means he doesn’t respect her marriage to you at all.

And because she didn’t shut him down hard, that door is cracked. This is a problem now. This is not a friend of the marriage or you anymore. He chose his path. You marriage has another path. It sucks for her, be sympathetic to that, but she wouldn’t be any more comfortable with you hanging out with some other female who has made it known she wants to have sex with you. It isn’t that you aren’t trustworthy, it’s that this ‘wants to be more than’ friend is not.

If she wants to test this marriage, it’s a good place to start poisoning it. Is that what she wants? Sucks she got this dumped on her by him, but it is what it is and she can’t ‘undo’ it or ignore it.

 

[tom67]

If he’s still reading, this one is fairly simple. You need to tell your wife that while she wants him to just be a friend, he decided he wants to be more. It’s not fair, it’s not cool, but it’s the reality. So that means she’ll be tested over and over and he won’t be satisfied with only a friendship. It also means he doesn’t respect her marriage to you at all.

And because she didn’t shut him down hard, that door is cracked. This is a problem now. This is not a friend of the marriage or you anymore. He chose his path. You marriage has another path. It sucks for her, be sympathetic to that, but she wouldn’t be any more comfortable with you hanging out with some other female who has made it known she wants to have sex with you. It isn’t that you aren’t trustworthy, it’s that this ‘wants to be more than’ friend is not.

If she wants to test this marriage, it’s a good place to start poisoning it. Is that what she wants? Sucks she got this dumped on her by him, but it is what it is and she can’t ‘undo’ it or ignore it.

:iagree::iagree:

 

[bfree]

Like racer said, friends have to be friends of the marriage else they are enemies of the marriage. It's just that simple.

 

[Jellybeans]

He wants to bang your wife

 

[Jellybeans]

BobSimmons

From the sentiment of the texts and the way OM is speaking, he's making it clear he's not playing games. They're fixing to meet up and have drinks alone then go to a hotel. That's not game playing or flirting. She's reciprocating his advances. She's very aware of what she's doing. Author of her own destruction she definitely is.

Yoda, is that you?
Posted via Mobile Device

:rofl: Love it! Excellent!

 

[missthelove2013]

She didnt discourage him at all...doesnt mean she wants to bang him YET, but she is open to and enjoying the attention/flirting...bad boundries...

she refered to his girlfriend as "girlfriend"...not your girlfriend in the text...clearly she was downplaying her...that stuck out to me...

she is open to what their relationship currently is...the beginnings of an EA...she probably doesnt even know how far she will allow it to go...if it were me, she cut this ass hole out of her life NOW or I treat it as an affair and act accordingly

 

[InlandTXMM]

:iagree:

That's the disturbing, common denominator in all these affairs, and how they start. The WS does NOT immediately shoot this guy down. Instead, she goes along with it and tries to hide it and even makes plans to meet this guy in the future. Next thing you know its a PA. Then the excuse will be: We didn't mean for it to happen, it just did.

Oh Lord, the dreaded "One Thing Led To Another".

Except one thing DOESN'T lead to another without conscious decision-making and effort.