[PhillyGuy13]

Would she feel that way if the situation were you and another woman? I doubt it.

I find it hard to believe that your wife is this naive. That is the most troubling part of your story to me.

I do wish you well.

Good luck
WD

Thanks WD appreciate it.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Tobyboy]

I was hounding her to make sure "you be completely honest with me" for several weeks, asking if he has contacted her. So I guess when he finally did contact her she wanted to be "completely honest"
Posted via Mobile Device

Ok....makes sense. Good phrasing on her part. Shows she is listening. Still, she needs to send a NC letter/email to POS.

Something simple and to the point.

 

[PhillyGuy13]

Ok....makes sense. Good phrasing on her part. Shows she is listening. Still, she needs to send a NC letter/email to POS.

Something simple and to the point.

Yes - going to require it tonight. My hope was she would be out of sight, out of mind but clearly she was on his mind today. And while she didn't talk about the upcoming trip, he still knows it's coming. She may naively think he doesn't know/remember, but as a guy, I know he knows.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[tom67]

Yes - going to require it tonight. My hope was she would be out of sight, out of mind but clearly she was on his mind today. And while she didn't talk about the upcoming trip, he still knows it's coming. She may naively think he doesn't know/remember, but as a guy, I know he knows.
Posted via Mobile Device

Good.
Nip this now and clearly spell it out for her.

 

[LongWalk]

She reported that the hook is in the water. That is good.

What happened at the their last meeting... bad pizza or something.

NC is important, less because of Kurt but because she was open to his flirting.

 

[dogman]

Yes - going to require it tonight. My hope was she would be out of sight, out of mind but clearly she was on his mind today. And while she didn't talk about the upcoming trip, he still knows it's coming. She may naively think he doesn't know/remember, but as a guy, I know he knows.
Posted via Mobile Device

Yes he knows and I'd bet he tries to connect again before the trip. He most likely will within a few days of the trip. He would be hoping to familiarize more quickly this time.
She really needs to tell him to leave her alone. If she does without blaming you, he will not try anymore.

 

[bfree]

Philly, I want to mention one other thing. All of you know that trip is coming. Now he's contacted her in advance of that trip. She reported that contact to you. If you don't come down hard and do some serious mate guarding you are going to lose a tremendous amount of respect from both of them. The ball is in your court. If you drop the ball it's on you.

 

[Philat]

I was hounding her to make sure "you be completely honest with me" for several weeks, asking if he has contacted her. So I guess when he finally did contact her she wanted to be "completely honest"
Posted via Mobile Device

So far so good, IMO. Philly, what you still need to do:

1) Impress upon your wife that she needs to tell Kurt in no uncertain terms to stop contact (no more "checking in")

2) Impress upon your wife that you are closely scrutinizing the Cleveland trip and that you consider it to be an acid test of her promises.

I think her report to you on Kurt's contact was good. But she needs to make sure it's the next-to-last contact. Her NC message, however delivered, should be the absolute final one.

 

[Tobyboy]

So far so good, IMO. Philly, what you still need to do:

1) Impress upon your wife that she needs to tell Kurt in no uncertain terms to stop contact (no more "checking in")

2) Impress upon your wife that you are closely scrutinizing the Cleveland trip and that you consider it to be an acid test of her promises.

I think her report to you on Kurt's contact was good. But she needs to make sure it's the next-to-last contact. Her NC message, however delivered, should be the absolute final one.

3) No alcohol consumption! Only with you present.

 

[weightlifter]

PM sent.

 

[weightlifter]

Man I DO NOT LIKE KURT!!!!

 

[tom67]

Man I DO NOT LIKE KURT!!!!

He is a wannabe PUA.:iagree:
I hope you did firm, little emotion when talking to her.

 

[weightlifter]

We have no basis to judge the wannabe-ness of Kurt. Friend style players do not use bad boy or looks much. The easy stuff.

Even the best fail sometimes. Their rate is higher because they pick up the low hanging fruit signals earlier but they do fail on occasion.

 

[tom67]

We have no basis to judge the wannabe-ness of Kurt. Friend style players do not use bad boy or looks much. The easy stuff.

Even the best fail sometimes. Their rate is higher because they pick up the low hanging fruit signals earlier but they do fail on occasion.

Again:iagree:
His w has to know of boundaries and what the consequences will be.
I truly hope she gets it.

 

[thummper]

Philly I'm not really sure why this whole thing is bothering me as much as it is since I don't know you or your wife, but I'm nearly sick to my stomach after reading these last posts. I don't think she has any idea what she's dealing with in this POS. He's going after her, my friend, and he isn't even being subtle about it. The fact that she didn't shoot him down when he first ran those disgusting texts by her and that she hasn't told him that she isn't going to see him, or talk to him, or basically have anything to do with him has given him GREAT expectations of bedding her on this trip. I hope you ream her out good and tell her in no uncertain terms that she is not to see him socially (or otherwise if you get my drift) and to give him a definite NO CONTACT ultimatum. The trip is fast approaching. The time for action is right now. Don't delay this, no matter how pissed at you she gets or how often she sings the "you don't trust me" song. Stop this right now for your sake and the sake of your mattiage and family!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[tom67]

Philly I'm not really sure why this whole thing is bothering me as much as it is since I don't know you or your wife, but I'm nearly sick to my stomach after reading these last posts. I don't think she has any idea what she's dealing with in this POS. He's going after her, my friend, and he isn't even being subtle about it. The fact that she didn't shoot him down when he first ran those disgusting texts by her and that she hasn't told him that she isn't going to see him, or talk to him, or basically have anything to do with him has given him GREAT expectations of bedding her on this trip. I hope you ream her out good and tell her in no uncertain terms that she is not to see him socially (or otherwise if you get my drift) and to give him a definite NO CONTACT ultimatum. The trip is fast approaching. The time for action is right now. Don't delay this, no matter how pissed at you she gets or how often she sings the "you don't trust me" song. Stop this right now for your sake and the sake of your mattiage and family!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why she didn't tell him to kick rocks is troubling imo.

 

[thummper]

I just do not understand why, when she knows how troubling this is for her husband, she's not shutting this predator down. I can't believe she's unaware of how close she's playing with fire. One false step with this guy, and I'm afraid her marriage will come crashing down. Dammit, why can't she see that and do something about it?! I can only imagine that Philly is going through hell right now. :slap: I don't remember feeling this frustrated for some other guy.

 

[tom67]

I just do not understand why, when she knows how troubling this is for her husband, she's not shutting this predator down. I can't believe she's unaware of how close she's playing with fire. One false step with this guy, and I'm afraid her marriage will come crashing down. Dammit, why can't she see that and do something about it?! I can only imagine that Philly is going through hell right now. :slap: I don't remember feeling this frustrated for some other guy.

:iagree::iagree:
Denial
PTSD
He is hurting.

 

[Tobyboy]

PG13 can huff and puff all day long....in the end it's her choice to cheat or not. I think PG is doing great. He's set boundaries and consequenses. This trip will be the ultimate test. She'll either behave or fvck up.....her call!

PG13.....get that NC letter done and sent. Also, timing of sending it is crucial. He'll break NC as soon as he receives it. You need to be present when she sends it and afterwards.

 

[tom67]

PG13 can huff and puff all day long....in the end it's her choice to cheat or not. I think PG is doing great. He's set boundaries and consequenses. This trip will be the ultimate test. She'll either behave or fvck up.....her call!

PG13.....get that NC letter done and sent. Also, timing of sending it is crucial. He'll break NC as soon as he receives it. You need to be present when she sends it and afterwards.

Yes he cannot control her but he can control what he will put up with and has to be serious with her.