[dymo]

What do you know about the other man? Do you know his name? Do you know if he has a wife/girlfriend of his own? If he does, it needs to be exposed.

Take the paternity test. Just in case this wasn't her first time.

 

[Shaggy]

I think you need to realize you have the power of the Internet to absolutely shame the OM for what he has done. - USE IT.

 

[MattMatt]

I think you need to realize you have the power of the Internet to absolutely shame the OM for what he has done. - USE IT.

:iagree:

Do it sooner, rather than later.

Also, expose your 'wife' to your family, to her family to all your friends. (Before she gets round them all with lies about you.)

 

[Am I Dreaming?]

I know my wife isn't innocent in this. I know that. Its just really apparent from the emails that this guy pulled the mind**** of the century on her. I can see the progression of her being friendly, him being aggressive, and her gradually giving in more and more until it gets to the point of these disgusting, sex conversations. And then the ****fest.

The website was reddit. So not a dating site. He started off PMing her with some "friendly advice". She gives him her email and then they started chatting for hours and hours. I honestly have no clue what is wrong with this man. He is totally ****ed in the head.

To the users that told me to slow down... I know. I just don't want to take a second and then let her talk me into staying, for the baby. I want to make sure people know I didn't leave her after the baby was born so I want the divorce started before she gives birth. I'm playing my cards close to my vest and I haven't told her yet. She surprised me with the ****fest - she can be surprised by the divorce.

I don't want to shame her but I want to make sure I don't get tagged as the bad guy in this. I'm going to tell my family this weekend and I think hers as well. I don't think she will tell them on her own.

I do have love for her still and the life we started and the child we made. But I deserve better. I didn't do anything to deserve her ****ing another man while carrying my baby in our home. I was working overtime for our unborn child. And she repaid me by ****ing someone else. I know I need to go and there is no saving this. I am 100% committed to divorce. It is the only option. I lost all my respect for her after seeing what she did. This can't be fixed.

Thank you to everyone for the sympathy and advice.

 

[Kasler]

Good plan, but like you said play it close to the chest, don't let her know what you plan to do.

Also she was NOT mindfked in this at all.

EAs only go as far as a person lets them, period. I've have slight come ons. But when I sense courtesy and friendly socializing turns into personal interest, I quickly make my status known. As of now I do it automatically. Like I'll show a woman a picture of my GF and son and I and then I'll notice she'll gravitate more towards my friends while we're out for drinks. If they still don't get the picture then I bluntly state that I'm taken and its not happening, something called having boundaries and respecting your partner, which your wife lacks.

She knew it was getting inappropriate, but she LIKED it, elsewise she wouldn't have given more and more. I've seen plenty of times in real life. When a woman isn't feeling a guy, no matter how much he pushes up or pressures shes not hooking up with him.

She got the thrills and wanted more and more, and then was just as aggressive as he was, just not in the same manner. She may not have been requesting the propositions, but she knew they'd come, wanted them to come, and accepted them after they came. No amount of 'aggressive propositions' would get me to betray the woman I love, in fact any such propositions would most likely enrage me at the audacity and low morals of the person making them.

She is COMPLETELY at fault 100%, thats the truth.

 

[Sara8]

Good plan, but like you said play it close to the chest, don't let her know what you plan to do.

Also she was NOT mindfked in this at all.

EAs only go as far as a person lets them, period. I've have slight come ons. But when I sense courtesy and friendly socializing turns into personal interest, I quickly make my status known. As of now I'] do it automatically. Like I'll show a woman a picture of my GF and son and I and then I'll notice she'll gravitate more towards my friends while we're out for drinks. If they still don't get the picture then I bluntly state that I'm taken and its not happening, something called havingboundaries and respecting your partner, which your wife lacks.

She knew it was getting inappropriate, but she LIKED it, elsewise she wouldn't have given more and more. I've seen plenty of times in real life. When a woman isn't feeling a guy, no matter how much he pushes up or pressures shes not hooking up with him.

She got the thrills and wanted more and more, and then was just as aggressive as he was, just not in the same manner. She may not have been requesting the propositions, but she knew they'd come, wanted them to come, and accepted them after they came. No amount of 'aggressive propositions' would get me to betray the woman I love, in fact any such propositions would most likely enrage me at the audacity and low morals of the person making them.

She is COMPLETELY at fault 100%, thats truth.

Well said.

 

[dogman]

I know my wife isn't innocent in this. I know that. Its just really apparent from the emails that this guy pulled the mind**** of the century on her. I can see the progression of her being friendly, him being aggressive, and her gradually giving in more and more until it gets to the point of these disgusting, sex conversations. And then the ****fest.

The website was reddit. So not a dating site. He started off PMing her with some "friendly advice". She gives him her email and then they started chatting for hours and hours. I honestly have no clue what is wrong with this man. He is totally ****ed in the head.

To the users that told me to slow down... I know. I just don't want to take a second and then let her talk me into staying, for the baby. I want to make sure people know I didn't leave her after the baby was born so I want the divorce started before she gives birth. I'm playing my cards close to my vest and I haven't told her yet. She surprised me with the ****fest - she can be surprised by the divorce.

I don't want to shame her but I want to make sure I don't get tagged as the bad guy in this. I'm going to tell my family this weekend and I think hers as well. I don't think she will tell them on her own.

I do have love for her still and the life we started and the child we made. But I deserve better. I didn't do anything to deserve her ****ing another man while carrying my baby in our home. I was working overtime for our unborn child. And she repaid me by ****ing someone else. I know I need to go and there is no saving this. I am 100% committed to divorce. It is the only option. I lost all my respect for her after seeing what she did. This can't be fixed.

Thank you to everyone for the sympathy and advice.

Dude, I'm gonna remind you of the fact that you would never have known if you didn't snoop and you said he flew in on Friday and the had sex repeatedly till Sunday morning.

She is not sorry for doing this she is sorry you found out.

I would bet my house that this is not the first time she has duped you. Maybe not with an online hook up but think back...you know what I'm talking about.

My point is you are blaming othe other guy and he's maybe sick but mostly it's your wife who has the problems. You need to put blame where it belongs.

Get her to do a polygraph before you divorce so you can put this in a box and as much as is possible, put it away someday. You have to think about your mental health for your real marriage in the future.

 

[warlock07]

I know my wife isn't innocent in this. I know that. Its just really apparent from the emails that this guy pulled the mind**** of the century on her. I can see the progression of her being friendly, him being aggressive, and her gradually giving in more and more until it gets to the point of these disgusting, sex conversations. And then the ****fest.

The website was reddit. So not a dating site. He started off PMing her with some "friendly advice". She gives him her email and then they started chatting for hours and hours. I honestly have no clue what is wrong with this man. He is totally ****ed in the head.

To the users that told me to slow down... I know. I just don't want to take a second and then let her talk me into staying, for the baby. I want to make sure people know I didn't leave her after the baby was born so I want the divorce started before she gives birth. I'm playing my cards close to my vest and I haven't told her yet. She surprised me with the ****fest - she can be surprised by the divorce.

I don't want to shame her but I want to make sure I don't get tagged as the bad guy in this. I'm going to tell my family this weekend and I think hers as well. I don't think she will tell them on her own.

I do have love for her still and the life we started and the child we made. But I deserve better. I didn't do anything to deserve her ****ing another man while carrying my baby in our home. I was working overtime for our unborn child. And she repaid me by ****ing someone else. I know I need to go and there is no saving this. I am 100% committed to divorce. It is the only option. I lost all my respect for her after seeing what she did. This can't be fixed.

Thank you to everyone for the sympathy and advice.

The site does have a dating section though

 

[Shaggy]

Reddit hates , and I mean hates cheaters.

Post him on cheaterville, then post that link on reddit, what he did and let loose. The reddit community will take care of him.

 

[Shaggy]

As for your wife. How exactly is she supposed to be treated as a grownup and responsible enough to care for a child when some looser on reddit can send her a bunch of emails WHICH from the beginning she chose to keep secret from you, and then end up in your bed with her ?

Seriously?

She knew from the start when she didn't tell you about him where is was leading. And she consciously chose to go there.

So what exactly does she have to say about this? Any remorse or just poor-me-I'm-really-the-victim-here-pitty-me tears?

edit to add: Do you know this guy's name in real life? If not look in the trash around your house, he might have left the tag from the airline when he flew in the trash.

 

[warlock07]

Reddit hates , and I mean hates cheaters.

Post him on cheaterville, then post that link on reddit, what he did and let loose. The reddit community will take care of him.

he will create a new account.

 

[Ikaika]

My first thought about it was the OM has a pregnancy fetish. Why he did it really doesn't matter. What concerns me is your wife.

You have just been married. You are just getting out of the honeymoon stage (typically lasts 1 year into the marriage), and she is already cheating. Also, she is suppose to be entering the nesting stage, making the place safe for the child and herself. I don't think flying someone in is making things safe. She is taking unnecessary risks.

I would divorce her. Take a paternity test to find out if the child is yours. If it is yours, take care of the child. She is the innocent in this matter.

Do it soon before the baby is born because you could be legally liable even if you are married to her and she gives birth to another's child.

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

I would take it one step further... I am not sure a woman with this lack of character can be trusted to take care of a child. I would file for D and file for custody. Don't assume that women always have the upper hand... courts nowadays rarely look at gender as consideration as much as they look at what is best for the health and welfare of the child.

I am really sorry for all you are going through. Please stick around there are a lot of folks here to support you emotionally.

 

[happyman64]

Am I Dreaming,

I respect your decision. It is not easy walking away from a family that has not even started yet.

You really have no other choice.

And yes, keep the D close to your vest.

And yes, tell both of your families what really happened so they understand why you are leaving your wife.

No matter what get the DNA test for peace of mind. I think any decent lawyer will tell you that. Thecertificates will also tell you not to sign the birth certificate until the DNA results are in your hands.

Sorry for your pain but your wife is just plain nuts and a cheater.

Protect your child for the future as best you can.

And put the POSOM on cheaterville. He deserves that at the very minimum for consequences.

Good Luck

HM64

 

[Ikaika]

Am I Dreaming,

I respect your decision. It is not easy walking away from a family that has not even started yet.

You really have no other choice.

And yes, keep the D close to your vest.

And yes, tell both of your families what really happened so they understand why you are leaving your wife.

No matter what get the DNA test for peace of mind. I think any decent lawyer will tell you that. Thecertificates will also tell you not to sign the birth certificate until the DNA results are in your hands.

Sorry for your pain but your wife is just plain nuts and a cheater.

Protect your child for the future as best you can.

And put the POSOM on cheaterville. He deserves that at the very minimum for consequences.

Good Luck

HM64

There is also another thought... if the child turns out NOT to be yours and the biological father is as much a POS as your WW, you may want to consider filling for custody anyway.

My father told me a long time ago, sperm donors are not fathers, fathers are the ones who stick around.

 

[Shaggy]

he will create a new account.

Oh, I know he'll create a new account. that wasn't the point of posting it on reddit. I meant post the cheaterville link and his reddit name.

 

[Count of Monte Cristo]

There is also another thought... if the child turns out NOT to be yours and the biological father is as much a POS as your WW, you may want to consider filling for custody anyway.

You're kidding right?

 

[aug]

In the meantime, start separating your finances and assets. No joint bank accounts or credit cards.


I wonder why you keep thinking the baby is yours? How can you be so sure? Why not do a paternity test when the baby is born? Currently you should deny being the father till it's proven with hard scientific fact that you are.

 

[Ikaika]

You're kidding right?

I'm not... I don't know about you, but I am concerned about the child. The WW has already proven to be a POS, if some OM planted his seed, he likely is a POS, why should the child have to suffer. My opinion... I hate to see the innocent suffer because of the other peoples crap.

 

[Ikaika]

You're kidding right?

The bigger nightmare... he D his WW... she has a daughter and has a series of BF... as the daughter gets older, the BFs start hitting on the daughter and one rapes the daughter (not that unlikely of a scenario)... Sadly I have seen this story play out all too often. I am all about the children... as badly as the OP is hurting, the kid may be in greater peril.

 

[Count of Monte Cristo]

I'm not... I don't know about you, but I am concerned about the child. The WW has already proven to be a POS, if some OM planted his seed, he likely is a POS, why should the child have to suffer. My opinion... I hate to see the innocent suffer because of the other peoples crap.

That's all well and good BUT there's no way in hell I'm raising or paying for another man's child. It's not like he's bonded with the baby -- which is a whole 'nother scenario.