Swears it was only this one time. Swears she has never cheated before

:bsflag:

We've only been married for 11 months. Who the **** cheats while pregnant and less than year of being married? I asked her why and she says she was lonely and he paid attention to her so she felt like she owed him. Apparently she never met him IRL until the ****fest.

WTF. Not only is that the worse excuse ever, but it's also very worrying. You need to get tested ASAP.

I don't know where to go from here. A strong part of me just wants to say **** this and bail. Get a quick divorce and let her raise the kid and pay child support. Just move the **** on. I don't see how our marriage can survive this.

I'd get a paternity test first.

 

oh my.....idk wat to say. That sounds like the most cold hearted thing i have ever heard. She cant be all with it mentally. she just cant. You just dont do that to someone your starting a family with, especially 7 months pregnant. Clearly the dude that flew in had a certain sick fetish of having sex with pregnant women. Man, i didnt even want sex with my wife when she was 7 months pregnant. And I always want it. The fact it, mentally your wife needs to check evaluated. Thats not normal behaviour at all. Forget about the guy, hes a mess and since hes been caught, hes not going to want to be a part of any of this now. U still gotta be there for ur kid. Ur going to need counselling after something like this. Take ur time deciding on what u want to do. If you still really care, this could be saved, although at this point it seems to me like it couldnt get much worse. Hang in there dude, ifeel for u.

 

Yep, better have the kid DNA tested. She can freaking have some guy fly in from Chicago and bang him in the marital bed while SEVEN MONTHS prego? Because he paid attention to her on the fracking internet? Is she really that cheap and easy?

:wtf:

Just when you think you've read it all, another horrific story comes along.

 

Yep, better have the kid DNA tested. She can freaking have some guy fly in from Chicago and bang him in the marital bed while SEVEN MONTHS prego? Because he paid attention to her on the fracking internet? Is she really that cheap and easy?

:wtf:

Just when you think you've read it all, another horrific story comes along.

:iagree:

 

Paternity Test.... probably a good idea. God, what does it say about my life that I'm talking about having to get a paternity test on my child? This is straight up madness.

The child was planned and we tried to conceive her. So I do think she is mine. But selfishly, oh my god what relief if she wasn't. The idea of having to parent a child with her for the next 18 years is scary. I want to just be done with her.

Its only been a few days since I found out and I find myself fantasizing about being free of her. I'm just disgusted by this woman. In every way. I don't know how I misread things so badly. I never expected this out of her.

 

My first reaction was "who has sex with a 7 month pregnant woman?".. That's right... the father. There might be exceptions but you know very well that you must get a DNA test asap. This is just to see if the kid is yours.

Furthermore... Who pays 4 or 5 hundred dollars for a ticket and flies over for a romp?... Her lover. It quite possible that she's been cheating on you through out your relationship and this woman doesn't appear to be wife material.

I do understand when people have affairs after 10 or 20 years of marriage.... But 11 months? No.

She's either not playing with a full deck or she's giving you a ride... And if you stay, the ride will at one point resume.

 

My first reaction was "who has sex with a 7 month pregnant woman?".. That's right... the father. There might be exceptions but you know very well that you must get a DNA test asap. This is just to see if the kid is yours.

Furthermore... Who pays 4 or 5 hundred dollars for a ticket and flies over for a romp?... Her lover. It quite possible that she's been cheating on you through out your relationship and this woman doesn't appear to be wife material.
I do understand when people have affairs after 10 or 20 years of marriage.... But 11 months? No.

She's either not playing with a full deck or she's giving you a ride... And if you stay, the ride will at one point resume.

:iagree:

Heck, I could put the whole post in bold.

 

My first thought about it was the OM has a pregnancy fetish. Why he did it really doesn't matter. What concerns me is your wife.

You have just been married. You are just getting out of the honeymoon stage (typically lasts 1 year into the marriage), and she is already cheating. Also, she is suppose to be entering the nesting stage, making the place safe for the child and herself. I don't think flying someone in is making things safe. She is taking unnecessary risks.

I would divorce her. Take a paternity test to find out if the child is yours. If it is yours, take care of the child. She is the innocent in this matter.

Do it soon before the baby is born because you could be legally liable even if you are married to her and she gives birth to another's child.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

I would take it one step further... I am not sure a woman with this lack of character can be trusted to take care of a child. I would file for D and file for custody. Don't assume that women always have the upper hand... courts nowadays rarely look at gender as consideration as much as they look at what is best for the health and welfare of the child.

I am really sorry for all you are going through. Please stick around there are a lot of folks here to support you emotionally.

 

Personally, I don't think this is her first rodeo, or like others have said, she's mentally unstable. Heck, this might not even be OMs first trip there. If her story is true, then this is even more dangerous behavior, letting a total fly in and banging him in the marital bed to top it off.

But stranger things have happened. In Thorburn's case, all it took was for the OM to tell his WW that she was pretty, and she was ready to bang this OM. It's hard to believe some people really are that cheap and easy, but its true.

 

Aw, this is sad! But I feel your pain. I say go to counseling and have the paternity test done. I see you love this girl and she might need you to show her what marriage is about (two grown adults working through loving each other!) Now after you give her this chance and if she blows it big time you would already know if the child is yours and you will know that your wife is not wife material. I will pray that the marriage works even if the baby is not your.

 

Divorce, completely unacceptable.

She should've been imagining raising a child with you. Not seizing upon a chance to bang a stranger in the marital bed while you were visiting an ill family member.(which is a complete and huge sign disrespect for the marriage)

Conspiring to cheat on her husband while pregnant, most definitely not marriage material.

Infidelity within the first year is a humongous black flag. Not a red one, but pitch black.

If this is how she reacts in the honeymoon phase of marriage its gonna be all 9th ring of hell when the tough times of the marriage come.

Get out now.

Also get a paternity test and DO NOT put your name of the birth certificate unless you have positive results.

 

There are so many levels to her betrayal. In our home. In ourbed. While pregnant. With my child.

What makes you think that?

First, a person that cheats doesn't just cheat once.

Second, a woman who cheats on her husband doesn't respect him, and no woman wants to bear the child of a man she doesn't respect.

Why this d-bag out of all the d-bags in the world, when she is nearly full term? why would he come to see a heavily pregnant woman?

He's the father, dude. Don't bond with this child. Get out, and paternity test. Lawyer up.

 

Whoooa , not only cheated but but put the baby at risk for catching an STD. Get a Divorce and a Paternity test. This women is trash and a simple minded gardening tool.

 

Yes, the STD thing is sick. Some viruses can go through condoms and can damage a baby. Herpes can do great harm to a baby if it is caught prior to being born.

If the child does turn out to be your child, you may be able to get full custody based on her irresponsible behavior.

I am so sorry.

Why do we BS's always seemed to be blind sided by this behavior.

I am not an ignorant unaware person, and I can't believe I was fooled for so long and even after Dday my spouse was making a fool of me.

 

Previous posters said it all.
If she presists on her claims and your feelings are still strong (there's no wrong in this) I think polygraph tests are in order.
However, if you're strong about divorce (and again, there's no wrong in this) you should protect yourself and seek legal advice on the spot.

Her being pregnant complicates things big time. I don't suggest a 180 in this case for the sake of the unborn baby, but you should make it clear that you caring for her comes from good moral and ethics not the feeling that she didn't do something wrong.

The douche (as you accurately put it) may have a pregnant fetish or worse has a fetish of sleeping with another man's wife on the marital bed, the fact that she's pregnant may have been icing on the cake, but it hasn't to do anything with you.
It's not his job to care for the emotional well being of your wife. What he did and said about her afterwards destroys his claims. He doesn't care about your wife

STD test, parternity test and polygraph test if you still want to be with her.

You raised an important detail, you had to discover by yourself what she did, so it really put her credibility on the weakest spot imaginable.
Be strong, and know that you don't owe her anything anymore. Suppose that you really neglected her, what she did shows that she deserves to be neglected. Taking care of her now tells only about you and your good judgement, so don't think that it's a manhood failiure.

 

After this behavior how is it that you're using expressions like "my child"? Isn't that a little premature?

 

It's time to leave. How can you even think to stay? It's disturbing that she's put the child at risk and behaving this way after only 11 months being married. Support the child if it's yours and save yourself a lifetime of more hurt by being married to her any longer. Get out now before the baby complicates further who you feel.

 

There are certain barriers that when crossed, I have to advise divorce.
...in your bed
...7 months pregnant
...11 months married
...first time meeting the OM. (online crap)

Even God approves of divorce in this situation, at least as far as they say.

This is not the first time for this type of behavior, it's a 50/50 chance the baby is not yours. Foolish to think otherwise.

Just so you can recover, get a polygraph before you divorce so you can know the truth and move on.

I truly wish this didn't happen to you and you didn't need to post here. This should be the best time of your lives.

 

Nasty.

 

She sounds like she's trickle truthing you. She may appear remorseful and be telling you what you want to hear so that you won't bail on her. She'll probably be giving you the guilt trip of abandoning her while she's pregnant and the baby not having a father.

I agree with others. You have probably only seen the tip of the iceberg, and if you stay with her, I predict more heartbreak down the road.

I would reassure her that the baby, if mine, will indeed have a good father-but she will no longer have a husband.

 

Devestating news for you.
Would be moreso if it turns out she paid for any part of his trip.

Forgetting the betrayal for a moment (as if it were possible) i'd hate to know that some scuzball (and his ilk) know where i live. Who knows what other personal info he has about you that you dont know about him.

 

:iagree:

 

Wow, this is a bad one. Alot of info missing though. 7 mos. pregnant and records of contact for at least 6 mos. Yeah, he could be the father.

Do you know if she invited him, or did he just seize the opportunity and show up at the door as soon as he found out you were out of town. He could be an airline employee or something and be able to hop on a flight anytime for free.

What site did they meet on,,, facebook, skype? Is he an old friend or just some sleeze from a Yahoo group of somethin'?

 

I haven't yet read the entire thread.

Cheating this early in a marriage is a very bad sign, IMO.

Also, get a DNA on this pregnancy. She may have cheated prior.

You are right there are so many levels of disrespect here.

Most men who cheat do not want to marry the affair partners. They just want a little extra curricular sex.

Very often, too, as I found out by reading the OW's emails to my STBEH, the housewives, usually bored and without the ability to keep their mind's occupied on their own,,are throwing themselves at other married men, and practically begging for sex.

Cheating housewives with children seems to have risen dramatically in the past ten years, by my observation and according several EDU studies.

It may be the internet, it may be shows like desperate housewives.

Sorry you are here.

 

One other thing is most OB's don't recommend sex beyond the 7th month for pregnant women, and then add sleeping with a sleezy stranger who probably sleeps with other women as well really has put that baby in danger.

 

Unless the "sleezy stranger" is actually the baby's daddy and is no "stranger" at all.

 

The worst women a man can have, A rare piece of women who dosent worry about her child born as HIV+ve, A rare women who can bang some one from internet who never told her the truth (As none says truth when they are dating thru internet), A rare women who can plan and commit the heinous act of sh!tting on her marital bed. Even wh0res worry about her child.

But the question is do you want to be with this women for another second?

It will be very tough for you to find an excuse for staying with her....................

 

That was the kid's father in your bed with her. there is no way, no way at all that this was one time.

Think about it, the two of you planned and worked to have the kid. And ONE month later she's on the Internet meeting a guy to start emailing and planning a hookup with?

And he jumps on a plane to fly in for a weekend just like that?

--

Question: How did they meet?

Question: Is he married or have a gf? - DO not listen to him or your wife - find out. Hire a PI if you have to, but find out this guy's shoe size. AND Expose him. At a minimum exposing to his mother that he's a sleazy loser that flys in to do this stuff should humiliate him to his mother. But if her has a wife/gf - it will really hit home.

As for your wife - YOU need to see a lawyer immediately. I would also take her to the doctor with you in the room and explain what she has done and that you demand: 1) STD tests, 2) DNA test on the child. Do it with your wife and doctor in the room together.

Today - take the bed and throw it out, and buy yourself a new one for you bedroom. If you feel kind - buy a new twin bed for another room for your wife to sleep on.

Take the clothes and lingerie she wore for him and throw them out.

Even if the child is yours, I would file for D. What she did was so cold and heartless. It's so off the scale that I think what you've caught is her real lifestyle. Pregnant women at 7 months do not fly in guys for a sex-fest. They just don't. The way she was able to do it, without tipping you off before you left , and able to lie when you called while gone , reveal that this IS NOT her first time cheating. No first time cheater would be that cold or calculating.

Get that DNA test.

Expose the OM.

Expose your wife.


File for D - If the child is yours you can be a good dad and be divorced.

 

Don't count on her story a bit.

The whole chicago story may be a total bullsh!t. He may be next door, saying hi to you everyday.

"It happend just once" is a common lie that waywards commonly stick to.

Or there may really be another guy in chicago that you caught but....

 

kinda been through it, yes.
my wife carried on an affair for over a year with a married douche she met at the gym.
while pregnant. she quit with him (supposedly...according to his wife...who knew about it a year ago and never had the common fkn decency to let me know) from her 5th month till a few months after our daughter was born.
yes she is my daughter. she looks exactly like me, not, thankfully, like the peanut head ugly fk my wife was banging.
never, once again SUPPOSEDLY, in our bed or house, but pretty much anywhere and everywhere else.
subjected herself, me and our child to a chlamydia scare, because @sshat was banging another girl that ended up with it. funny thing is, my wife and him kept at it even after that. sick, huh?
i havent posted my tale here yet, still trying to process it myself.
i chose to stay. i wonder sometimes when i am angry, if i made the right choice. and im angry a lot. but i think it speaks volumes of MY character to stay and work through a seemingly impossible situation.
i have thought about it long and deeply, and my wife seems to be truly remorseful and trying to put forth a real effort. finally, after catching her in lie after lie and essentially telling the OM that if he didnt leave my wife alone he would be drooling on himself and wearing diapers for the rest of his life, i think they have stopped all contact.
"think" being the operative word here.
one day i will post my whole story on here to be dissected by the experts.
until then, i just wanted to chime in and say YES, there are other people that have been through something like this.
think about your choices. carefully. dont be afraid to be alone. and dont be afraid to be a single dad.
good luck man, its a long painful road no matter your decision.