PM a moderator and have your thread moved.
It's far from a completed episode.
Get the best attorney, go after the best divorce settlement possible, start moving on with indifference toward her...
Explain what you did for exposure?

 

I exposed immediately to parents (called) and her friends / co-workers (emails). But as I said it doesn't matter now I know I'm moving on. I will open up a new post if needed. I've already spoken to an attorney. I'm in Canada, so yes they have an adultery divorce, but it will be faster and cheaper for me to get an agreement from her that the marriage was over last year and then a divorce can follow right away.

Thank you all for sharing your knowledge and experience. You don't have to, but you do and I commend you all.

Moving on with my life. Going to live a great one!

 

I'm Canadian and divorced. Focus on the separation agreement and living apart. Lawyer up and strike while she still may harbour some guilt and shock about being found out.

Hold strong man, odds are high that she'll come begging for you back.

Odds are also high that if you do take her back this is just the first affair before something begins again.

 

OP, been following your story, and am so sorry you are here. It is far from a fun road you will find yourself on. At least you wont be in limbo, which is pure hell.
As others said, move to CWI, and you will get a lot more help.

-sammy

 

This will be last reply on this post before I open up a new one on my transition. We have started a custody schedule where one of us leaves the house for a few days. I'm currently out of the house. I'm taking the time to get everything in motion. First step drafting the separation agreement.

As much as I'd like to share the emails from the affair I can't. Don't want to revisit them at this time. But just know that they give me the resolve to see this through. I won't be taking her back because I refuse to be pulled into the pattern, I'm above that now.

So if there is anything to be learned from my experience it would be to trust your instinct when it comes to your marriage. Protect it by being proactive. If something feels off do whatever is needed to uncover the cause and don't settle.

The only thing I feel now for my soon to be ex is pity. She could have had an amazing life.

 

Why are you out of the house?
Cheaters want out, they can leave.
It's more important than ever that you stand tall.

 

If I read this thread correctly, the OP didn't know his wife was in an affair since 2012. It is now 2014 when he learn the full extent. We as BS, when first discovered, usually always are lead to believe "it just happen now," for the most part, or "it's over now," when in reality, what the OP is facing, is far more the truth.

What I don't understand, what I don't get,... why the spouse put the BS through it all, living the lies, the life during the real time, pretending, making us believe we live in another world than we do. Then even after as the OP struggles to rebuild, the spouse still continues to live a deceitful life?
God, it gets so messed up.

-sammy

 

patience, just want to say, I don't see this revolving parent thing to be viable long term. I hope you're setting up something better for all involved.

 

Marduk, really good advice. I speak the same too. So are you still married to wife #2??

TP- way to expose. Good on you. Don't look back. In a few years you look at this and laugh.

 

Sammy has it right.

Tryingpatience did PM some of the text that he uncovered. For the followers of his thread it would fill in some blanks.

I will paste and clip what he sent if he agrees.

Suffice it to say that his wife's betrayal is was unambiguous. Her correspondence with POSOM indicates zero regret or remorse. He discovered unsent drafts that suggest that she was feeling the new branch carefully before letting go of the old one.

She wrote to OM with flattery that suggests that she is insincere IMO.

Particularly beyond any spouse's tolerance was her conniving to make certain OM would agree to be a step-father.

For the record, I don't think all people who have affairs are evil and nefarious. However, Tryingpatience's wife is a horrible character, not because she had an affair, but because she has been eating cake, while serving him shxt sandwiches for a very long time. Only an extremely heartless person would have engaged in such extended deception. She is grossly inconsiderate.

It is hard to imagine the affair relationship leading to a successful marriage. She is probably sugary now while in love, but once the chemicals that mascarade as choice (as Sandfly put it) are flushed through her kidneys and liver, the selfish shrew will emerge. Good luck to OM but he is probably a POS who deserves what is coming him.

 

I really hope Tryingpatience takes the POSOM and exposed hardcore. Sorry your here...she does not respect you as a person or a husband, time to let her go.