[bandit.45]

I still don't know WTF happened in our marriage. I guess the answer is she revealed her true self.

Some people hide their true nature and once they get what they want out of a relationship they show their true colors.

Some people start off one way, but after a time they (for whatever reason) become corrupted or lose their way. They change. People do change, and not always for good.

It's hard to say where your STBXWW lands. I tend to think she is in the former category. She saw you as a comfortable provider, daddy-type, who she could leech off of while she got herself educated and situated, then once you were no longer necessary she moved on.

Either way, she used you and being used and exploited is the worst feeling next to betrayal.

 

[3Xnocharm]

@FloridaGuy123, I am so glad to read this outcome! So the screaming from the other room... was your evidence revealed to her? Was that in reaction to her actual income being clarified? Whatever it was, BRAVO!

 

[Taxman]

The “I’m sorry” face meant I’m sorry that you got evidence on me, and I’msorry that I have to pay you. Give her a year. The new shop boy relationship will fail, she is in a high infidelity situation and she affaired down. Those elements spell doom for this guy. This will be a repeating pattern for awhile. She will mess up big, mark my words, orrrrrrr, the fog will dissipate sometime in the future, and you FG will get the surprise of your life. That, I have seen as well. (Depending on circumstances) Old client, acrimonious divorce, she systematically bankrupted him, did all kinds of dirt, and he paid and restarted his life. He did well, went to school, became a hit in the financial district. Kept good friends had few good relationships. Completely recovered. His ex got wind of the new lifestyle. Guess who darkens his door. He was no idiot, he took her on an excursion thru his new world. She saw wealth and privilege. He got all of the sex that she denied him during the marriage. She really thought she had sunk her hooks til she casually mentioned that she should move back in. WRONG! He politely explained that this was all for her to see what she had lost. She slithered back into the hole from which she came.

 

[3putt]

The “I’m sorry” face meant I’m sorry that you got evidence on me, and I’msorry that I have to pay you. Give her a year. The new shop boy relationship will fail, she is in a high infidelity situation and she affaired down. Those elements spell doom for this guy. This will be a repeating pattern for awhile. She will mess up big, mark my words, orrrrrrr, the fog will dissipate sometime in the future, and you FG will get the surprise of your life. That, I have seen as well. (Depending on circumstances) Old client, acrimonious divorce, she systematically bankrupted him, did all kinds of dirt, and he paid and restarted his life. He did well, went to school, became a hit in the financial district. Kept good friends had few good relationships. Completely recovered. His ex got wind of the new lifestyle. Guess who darkens his door. He was no idiot, he took her on an excursion thru his new world. She saw wealth and privilege. He got all of the sex that she denied him during the marriage. She really thought she had sunk her hooks til she casually mentioned that she should move back in. WRONG! He politely explained that this was all for her to see what she had lost. She slithered back into the hole from which she came.

 

[oldshirt]

so I'm curious, did the proof of her affair even matter at the end of the day?

Did anyone involved in the negotiations even care?

I can see that she may or may not have been embarrassed, but did it really matter in a legal sense?

Adultery is not illegal (in most states. I don't know about Fl) so I'm not sure how much impact infidelity or proof of infidelity really matters once the rubber meets the pavement in a legal proceeding.

I think the nuts and bolts here is he supported her through her education at the expense of his own career during that time and now that she has the professional licensure and the income that goes with it, he is entitled to a certain degree of support for a certain amount of time.

I work in the medical field and many courts do award support for the working spouse that supports the medical education of med students/residents during their training and then dump them once they get licensed and are earning the income.

The only role I can see her infidelity playing into this is it would show that he had just cause to divorce her and that he himself was not the conman that schmoozed her up in school and then dumped her to get alimony after she became a high earner.

I am curious as to how much of a role her infidelity actually played in the legal aspects of this case.

I tend to believe that no one really cares who screwed who in the vast majority of cases.

FloridaGuy can you explain how much of a role her infidelity and your pictures and proof really played into your settlement at the end of the day?

 

[Taxman]

He is still my client and a good friend. His ex wife was a piece of work, from the get go. My dad and hers were in the same business, and the man was an absolute cut-throat. At one point he recognized me from the garage, knew immediately that I used to work for my Dad, and told his daughter not to associate with me, which meant she wanted my bud to take his business elsewhere. No thanks. We represent him and his business interests, and shortly his retirement.

FG is this an interim financial settlement, or are there other components yet to come? I would have bet that they would award you the costs of her medical education as well.

 

[TDSC60]

I think the projected spousal support award is based on the difference in income and the length of the marriage alone.

Since a doctor's education/training is much longer than 3.5 years (length of the marriage), I don't think he expects to get any reimbursement based on the cost of her education.

Sounds like FG supported her during Residency and Specialization and moved to different cities to do so. Thus giving up his career(and established income) to support her's. It sucks, but I don't think that is considered in the settlement.

 

[Wolfman1968]

Done

Successful mediation. I'll get $7k a month for half the length of the marriage. Her initial offer was $500. 500. There was crying and screaming from her room. I felt bad as this is my wife and I love her, but she was finally being held accountable for really bad treatment of me.

She walked by at one point and mouthed the words "I'm sorry" through the glass wall. I just nodded my head.

I get my dog!. I traded away over $10k for that little ****er. Worth it every time.

When it was all said and done, it hurts like hell and I miss her. I suppose both will decrease with time. I still don't know WTF happened in our marriage. I guess the answer is she revealed her true self.

One day I will write a "how I handled it" thread if you think it might be useful.

Well, you said you sacrificed a 6-figure business in order to move for her training.

Do you and your lawyer think that this amount "makes you whole" for that loss....and for the loss of time/future expansion that the business should have had during those training years?

I'm not talking about getting revenge or being greedy or anything like that. I am talking about just a cold, dispassionate financial calculation.