@Lila I feel very uncomfortable giving dating advice to women. The reason for this is when I was dating it was with the sole purpose of getting my date into bed, and I know that this behavior is frowned upon by a lot of people, especially the female members of tam.I also know that you refuse to sleep with anyone unless you’re in an exclusive relationship.
However, I’ll try and explain this situation that you found yourself in like this.
You’ve probably heard the term “wingman” before. I have often been approached by women asking me would I be interested in meeting one or other of their friends, this would usually but not always be in nightclubs or bars. I was never interested but sometimes I would find the wingman very attractive and between that and her confidence in approaching me in the first place I might find her irresistible. So I would make my play on her.
However the guys who you are meeting at these events are not as confident as young Andy was, and being the one who’s getting the most laughs and keeping the conversation flowing can backfire as what happened here imo.
They don’t understand why someone as confident, funny and (I’ve seen the photos lol) downright sexy is doing at one of these shindigs.
Be as funny as you want while on a date or in a one on one situation but in the initial group meeting environment try and tone it down a little.
Some of this. I also think you might be a little high calibre/quality compared to the group you were with.
I think your amazing attitude would probably render different results in an activity/hobby group like the cyclist group that lifeistooshort mentioned.
I also believe you should be you for your own satisfaction alone. You can't help but take note of results because you have a scientific mind. Regardless, your only goal in being unapologetically, unrestrained and fully you should be simply for your own satisfaction.
I attract a lot of people just by being me and I piss off a lot as well.
Sometimes I do both and the pissed off folks are attracted as well.
Unfortunately or maybe wonderfully, living as big as you are is messy with some unpredictable results.
I know from other conversations here that you have a very core desire for a mate/partner/lover.
I think that is good and solid but that desire needs to be kept in a safe place inside until a man has won enough trust and respect from you to feel safe enough with that treasure to be revealed to him in any way.
I think you should live as openly and strongly as you are. There is no reason to be smaller than the amazing person you are capable of being. You should be that person simply because that is you. Don't have any thought about what being you might result in besides the freedom from restraint and living smaller than you are capable of.
You don't fit in possibly any of the little boxes you have been looking in, that sections of society seem successful and content with. I think you are too much good to try and compromise yourself to fit so be you and enjoy the hell out of it!
I don't know for certain, but I highly suspect, being unapologetically you will eventually lead to a worthy mate and immediately be satisfying to you on a personal level.
I don't fit in boxes and have always disconcerted and pissed people off.
Everytime I have tried to play like the other kids, life hasn't gone good for me or anyone else around me.
I might be off but you might be similar.
Maybe I'm blathering. Anyway, it seems you are growing.:smile2: