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Whatever you do, stay quiet. You may need to tell her you aren't feeling well (which is true), just don't say why.

Eyes open, mouth shut.

You need to figure out what is really happening.
 
Today, I will search the bedroom for the unknown unknowns while K is at work.
If that's not the ultimate expression of complete trust, I don't know what is.
 
I never would have expected a toilet seat lid would lead to so much intrigue. It’s like a modern day Poirot but with a giant dildo and thongs.

Hastings: Poirot what do you reckon this is?
<Holds up giant dildo>
Poirot: Mon dieu! Hastings do you not know what this is?
Hastings: Erm... no.
Poirot: Well you see Hastings, this is used by the feminine lady during her time alone. WAIT! Hastings! Perhaps not alone! The little gray cells they are now tres active!

Good luck with this OP.
 
Never ask people questions unless you already know the answer. I'll explain. Let's say your wife really is up to no good and you ask her about it. She will lie and then you've gained nothing, you've just made her become more cautious. What you need to do is keep all suspicions to yourself and find out the truth on your own. If you've got the coin, I'd recommend hiring an investigator. If you don't have the money or just don't like that idea, then you should figure it out on your own. Maybe even bring your suspicions to a friend. Sometimes your friends know what is going on but don't want to tell you.
During the times of investigation the best question to ask is one you already know the answer to. It will tell you a lot.
 
@HommeNu, is it possible that she is too embarrassed to talk to you about using the dildo, and/or that she got it during your illness and doesn't want to make you feel bad? In my opinion, this is something she should have discussed with you, as it's a part of your sex life, so you are entitled to do some stealth digging to make sure there isn't she's hiding something nefarious. The thong underwear, however, I don't have any idea about. I like to show my sexy new underwear off to my husband, not buy it and keep it buried in the dresser. Maybe other women are different(?)

Edited to add: I really don't know of any women who buy thongs just for themselves. I'm trying not to be alarmist, Hommenu, and maybe it's some sort of mid-life crisis trying to make herself feel sexier thing, but that one gave me pause.
 
She hates thongs and refuses to wear them so I am not sure why she has any.
Claiming she hates thongs and then having some that OP has never seen is a pretty major red flag. The dildo could perhaps be explainable, but things are starting to add up. Maybe put the sweaters that cover it in a certain position so you'll know if they've been moved.

I assume you haven't found a burner phone, have you looked at all the apps on her phone (I wonder if something on there is for texting - snapchat / whatsapp maybe something more hidden with chat feature)? Might be a convenient time to have your phone battery die so you have to use hers to finish a conversation and then see what all is on it.

Does she have male employees at the flower shop? Maybe someone that she used to talk about alot and then suddenly stopped talking about?
 
OP do not confront.
If you can come with a excuse that you feel sick and think you got the Covid, so you can sleep in another room, do it. Because if you sleep with her you are going to have the temptation of asking her.
The dildo can be a firecracker red flag but the pair of thongs is a napalm. Did you check if other devices have connected to your network? Did you download the videos from prior days as recommended here?

It's very probable she is cheating and if she is using a burner phone, well is someone who has experience or is coached.
 
Well given the new stuff coming up, if there is an affair, I'm starting to wonder if it's another woman. However, it is still possible that what is happening is that she is getting more into handling her own needs and for some reason finding that more satisfying. If you are going to continue to look into this, as the others have said, say nothing yet. Maybe a camera where you can see who goes into or out of either the guest room or bathroom. You want to be careful about the placement though, as you are not looking to violate privacy or make inadvertent pornos.
 
You might want to schedule that business sooner instead of later because it will giver her an opportunity to have a guest over. I worry you're going to break and start questioning her before you have real evidence. If you question her now, she'll just take any affair further underground, and you'll never know the truth.

Some folks in here have faked a business trip, or returned a few days earlier than what their itinerary provided. This gave them the opportunity to catch their spouse red-handed.

She might now be spooked about using your house to conduct the affair. Another device you might consider is a GPS tracking device for her car.
 
I agree with the others that the dildo is kind of a red flag but the panties are a huge red flag.

You can put a small camera pointing to where she has the dildo and panties. If she breaks them out and puts them in her bag, you’ll know she’s using them elsewhere.
You have to look for a burner phone. It’s either in her car or at her job. If you could install a tiny camera at her job, you might be able to capture who is her special friend by seeing the ri body language and facial expression.

I was going to give you **** based on the initial post but having read the additional info, you have enough to be seriously concerned. Always trust your gut.
 
Please do not confront your wife with anything you have found. Mouth shut, eyes open. She could be using the phone at her shop so nothing shows up on the mobile.

Do you really expect her to be truthful about an affair she may be having?
 
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