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How would you interpret this message

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#161 ·
KanDo said:
by the way, got the "you don't have to do this" and the "The infidelity is my fault but the divorce is all you" speech last night. Think her lawyer may have given her my latest property settlement proposal (turns out my defined benefit retirement plan's current value is less than I thought [Thank you actuary!])
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Her speech makes no sense, as you probably figured out. Who really wants to be the second man in a wife's life? Or live with a morally stunted woman?

She'll be okay after your divorce. She has shown beforehand that she can lead another life, so she wont feel the loss of this marriage as much -- she has the fallback of her other man (men?).
 
#162 ·
KanDo said:
by the way, got the "you don't have to do this" and the "The infidelity is my fault but the divorce is all you" speech last night. Think her lawyer may have given her my latest property settlement proposal (turns out my defined benefit retirement plan's current value is less than I thought [Thank you actuary!])

Also, I think the 1 in 5 figure for discovered affairs comes from surveys of the number of people who admit to an affair vs those who say they know their spouse has been in an affair.
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Nice! The 2x4 of reality hasn't quite hit her yet. :lol::lol:

Regarding the 1 in 5 figure - statistics make more sense when they are presented in their proper context!
 
#164 ·
KanDo said:
by the way, got the "you don't have to do this" and the "The infidelity is my fault but the divorce is all you" speech last night. Think her lawyer may have given her my latest property settlement proposal (turns out my defined benefit retirement plan's current value is less than I thought [Thank you actuary!])
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Ok, then you get full credit for having a sense of morals and dignity while she accepts full credit for being a cheating lying *****!

You win that round!
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Discussion starter · #165 ·
More manipulation last week. She took some pills from the medicine cabinet and put them at her bedside table making sure I saw her do it. I simply scooped them up and flushed them and went to my bed. Supposedly leaving Friday.... Stay tuned.
 
#166 ·
Maybe it is maybe it isn't. If you read some of the stories regarding women cheaters who compartmentalized their infidelity, you'll notice that their psyche is broken (FOO - family of origin - issues) and very likely to suffer a mental breakdown once their husbands make the choice to divorce them. Keep a close eye on her from here til Friday.
 
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#168 ·
Keep up the good work. Stay strong. When she says crap like that, you should just say "what ever helps you sleep at night". It kind of strips away all the BS during the day and leaves you with yourself. It sounds like she has woken up. Now she can experience the consequences of the life of a cheater. And any man that would take up with her knowing what she threw away would be a nut or more probably a skanky cheater like her.
 
#169 ·
Throwing away her pills gave her what she wanted - your allegiance and attention. Next time, confront it and take away its power: "It looks like you left those out deliberately to make me feel sorry for you. FYI, I'm past that because of what you did. You'll have to figure out your own path now."
 
Discussion starter · #170 ·
turnera said:
Throwing away her pills gave her what she wanted - your allegiance and attention. Next time, confront it and take away its power: "It looks like you left those out deliberately to make me feel sorry for you. FYI, I'm past that because of what you did. You'll have to figure out your own path now."
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Wish I would of thought of this at the time.....By the way, it appears the OM has dumped her....
 
#171 ·
KanDo said:
Wish I would of thought of this at the time.....By the way, it appears the OM has dumped her....
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Strange how she went from:

KanDo said:
Well, The MC told her she could not be working on the marriage and continue this 2nd relationship. W interprets this a controlling her. Sort of admitted the relationship was over the line. Says she doesn't want a divorce but not certain she can re-engage in the marriage. I'm continuing in the therapeutic posture for now.
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To trying to save the marriage, the manipulation, etc, AFTER you found out about Jim and all the multiple OMs that she was bringing to your house and bed to have sex with.

BTW, you said that she was going to be in the house until the 29th. It's the 30th now.
 
#172 · (Edited)
Your STBXW is a real piece of work. I hope she enjoys the consequences of her actions. Your best revenge is to enjoy life and find a girl to love you who won't cheat. Oh and make sure you keep up to date postings on facebook. She will be outside looking in for the rest of her life.
 
Discussion starter · #173 · (Edited)
lordmayhem said:
BTW, you said that she was going to be in the house until the 29th. It's the 30th now.
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You know, your right! I thought her ticket was the 29th but now she is leaving supposedly today (30TH). I won't be home until this evening. I hope I find an empty house......:scratchhead:
 
#174 ·
KanDo said:
You know, your right! I thought her ticket was the 29th but now she is leaving supposedly today (30TH). I won't be home until this evening. I hope I find an empty house......:scratchhead:
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You should come home with a hot pizza and a bottle of champagne to celebrate.

If she's not gone, ask her to please get moving because the pizza is getting cold and you don't want to loose the happy mood you were in.
 
#176 ·
If he dumped her, she might never leave now, that's a scary thought IMO.

So are you ready for the crocodile tears and the I'm sooooo sorry, can we work it out speech?

I would still go through with the kicking her out, I mean her voluntarily moving out, because being 2nd choice isn't being a winner. This isn't the special Olympics where everyone is a winner.
 
#177 ·
cheatinghubby said:
If he dumped her, she might never leave now, that's a scary thought IMO.

So are you ready for the crocodile tears and the I'm sooooo sorry, can we work it out speech?

I would still go through with the kicking her out, I mean her voluntarily moving out, because being 2nd choice isn't being a winner. This isn't the special Olympics where everyone is a winner.
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If he did dump her and she wants to stay with you now - maybe offer to pay for couples counseling for him and her to help them make up :lol:
 
Discussion starter · #178 · (Edited)
Ok, She is gone. Did not take all her stuff, so she will return at some point to claim her personal property; but, for now, she is gone.:D

I will keep you all posted on the divorce and further developements.
 
#180 ·
KanDo said:
Ok, She is gone. Did not take all her stuff, so for she she will return at some point to claim her personal property; but, for now, she is gone.:D

I will keep you all posted on the divorce and further developements.
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What a great way to start the new year, eh KanDo?

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happyman64
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