When did you get a vagina? Until you do, just stop telling or speaking on behalf of women. I know what I believe and I sure as heck don't need some dude to tell me what I want. You are also wrong, for me at least. The simple fact that you think you know what women want and are so bold to speak for an entire sex, makes you sexual napalm to me. Tell me again about how I get turned on, I friggin dare you.
The thing is, he isn't too far off in SOME or even many situations. There are simply just a lot of women (and men) out there who are not very self aware, and don't understand WHY they're losing attraction for their S/O. But it's plastered on these boards
every single day with the "HD husband, LD wife" threads. I believe that these "LD" women, when they tell their husbands that if they'd "do more around the house, I'm too tired" or "if you'd just leave me alone and stop asking about it, maybe I'd get in the mood" think that this is what the problem is. In some instances, this is right (i.e. a lazy husband who doesn't help around the house or a pesky sexaholic that won't stop pestering). But oftentimes that's simply not the case. There's a woman there who hasn't had sex with her husband in months, the same husband that "does all the cooking", "does all the cleaning" because she said she was "tired and exhausted". Gives her back rubs, and receives no affection in return. Hasn't asked her for sex in months and
nothing changes.
Some times these tired, exhausted women are out having affairs, screwing the hell out of their affair partners, and doing things they haven't done with their h's in years! Why is she not too tired or feeling pressured to have sex with this other man? Why is she willingly giving him bj's at every turn when she hasn't offered her husband one in years? Why the difference?
It's about attraction, sexual tension, and excitement. And a doormat man simply does not supply that to a woman. There may be other or no problems, but one thing is for sure, if she's not attracted, you aren't "gettin' any". And I don't believe that a good number of women when they're going through this understand it. Or at least are afraid to (or just don't want to) say so. All they "know" is they don't feel attracted to their partner, they start to see him as a burndensome room mate, and they have no interest in sex with them. They THINK they're too tired, but that is often not the case. Didn't stop her from having sex when you were dating or for the first year of the relationship when you'd party all night, have sex, and go to work on a few hours sleep. So why now, and to such an extent that this goes on for MONTHS or in some cases YEARS? In all that time, this woman was not ever rested? Sure she was. But that wasn't the problem.
I don't much like this whole "alpha up" description. I prefer the "man up" or possibly "find your balls" analogy. It's not about being an "alpha prick", but it is about not being a doormat, servant, maid, and massuese all wrapped up into one, or forsaking your own interests to better "serve her". It's about not being such a "nice guy" that you're forsaking your own needs and wants just to kiss the azz of another, and getting no appreciation (or much of anything else) in return.
Such a recurring theme with "nice guys" is that yes, they are pizzed off. They do feel stood upon or neglected. And they won't say or do anything about it out of fear. Fear that he's not good enough for her, he should feel lucky to have her, and she'll leave at the slightest provocation should he stand up for himself, or let her know her behavior is not acceptable. And, I don't know many women who want a guy like that or is even remotely attracted to it.
It's not about being a d!ck. It is about not being a doormat and standing up for yourself. Big difference. And IMO, this all starts with the first few times a woman gives a man some unreasonable chit, and he takes it with a whimper, or reacts poorly to it, instead of calmly and directly nipping it in the bud as soon as it starts and letting her know that behavior is not appreciated, and won't be accepted. The more it happens, the more resentful everyone becomes, and things snowball out of control. Whereas had the guy "manned up", "alpha'd up" or whatever you want to call it, and calmly dealt with it from the start, it wouldn't be a problem at all. And she'd at least respect him for standing up for himself.
Many of these traits are the same ones displayed by "bad boys" (aka "the pr!cks"). Difference being, the bad boy comes with a whole other set of issues. If "nice guys" would just pick up some of these good traits of self confidence, self respect, and not letting themselves get walked all over, while retaining the better parts of their "good guy" side, they'd be much, much better off. And their wives would be happier.
