[MaritimeGuy]

stop with this alpha crap its garbage

my lord it does not exist

I agree with this.

I believe it's true of anyone, male or female, who has a healthy self esteem...we're attracted to people who exude confidence. After all, if a person doubts themselves all the time shouldn't we doubt them too? They know themselves better than we do.

My sense is being a "more dominant" male; disregarding her feelings, doing less around the house, taking her at your will, doing what you want only works with woman with low self esteem. They go along not out of respect...but out of fear.

The important thing is to be yourself and be proud of who you are. That's what's going to attract a quality woman.

 

[Cre8ify]

I made my wife's favorite dinner last night...lots of fresh herbs and fussing. Our deal is whoever cooks the other cleans up. She was packing for an overnight business trip and left a few pots on the stove. I left them there until nearly midnight and asked her if they were going to stay there until Friday when she returned. She was busted and stammered something unintelligible so I told her I could help her out and finish the kitchen...but I have added allot of weight to my core workout this week and am dying to try out my new abs.

Everybody wins...a mix of beta and obnoxious alpha.

 

[Caribbean Man]

Just couldn't help it........

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/18181-man-up-nice-guy-reference.html

OP,
These are things I've known since I was in my twenties.

You cannot tell a woman which type of sanitary pad works for her and which ones don't and to what degree. You cannot even tell her which medication works best for her menstrual cramps.

Similarly, you alone know your problem, what you have tried and to what degree it has worked.
What's important is if , and how can it WORK FOR YOU.
This is not about them and their relationships.
This is not about your wife either.
Its about you taking charge of your life and relationship.

 

[Cosmos]

I agree with this.

I believe it's true of anyone, male or female, who has a healthy self esteem...we're attracted to people who exude confidence. After all, if a person doubts themselves all the time shouldn't we doubt them too? They know themselves better than we do.

My sense is being a "more dominant" male; disregarding her feelings, doing less around the house, taking her at your will, doing what you want only works with woman with low self esteem. They go along not out of respect...but out of fear.

The important thing is to be yourself and be proud of who you are. That's what's going to attract a quality woman.

:iagree:

It's a comparitively new adjective used to describe a strong, confident man. Sadly, some of the behaviours that are often described necessary in order to be deemed alpha are not only negative but thoroughly unworkable in a mature relationship.

 

[StoneAngel]

When did you get a vagina? Until you do, just stop telling or speaking on behalf of women. I know what I believe and I sure as heck don't need some dude to tell me what I want. You are also wrong, for me at least. The simple fact that you think you know what women want and are so bold to speak for an entire sex, makes you sexual napalm to me. Tell me again about how I get turned on, I friggin dare you.

I love your fire. Have you read The Way of the Superior Man??
I would love your take on it Stay confident in your womanhood!

 

[Machiavelli]

My sex life has improved as a result. Any other ideas? Becoming the alpha is a learning process...

Splitting traits/behaviors/sex rank into Alpha-Beta is useful in limited contexts, like getting laid (alphas score and betas don't) or using it to describe leadership or passive behaviors in marriage. However, I find Vox Day's expanded male hierarchy to be the most useful definition set for a wider application of real life behaviors and situations.

That's an excellent blog, also.

 

[Machiavelli]

stop with this alpha crap its garbage

my lord it does not exist

The Lord says otherwise. Read I and II Samuel to see how women throw over their husbands in a heartbeat to mate with one of the greatest alphas known to history. One of the greatest depictions of female hypergamy ever. Along with what happens in a marriage when unchecked alpha traits run amok.

 

[CandieGirl]

I made my wife's favorite dinner last night...lots of fresh herbs and fussing. Our deal is whoever cooks the other cleans up. She was packing for an overnight business trip and left a few pots on the stove. I left them there until nearly midnight and asked her if they were going to stay there until Friday when she returned. She was busted and stammered something unintelligible so I told her I could help her out and finish the kitchen...but I have added allot of weight to my core workout this week and am dying to try out my new abs.

Everybody wins...a mix of beta and obnoxious alpha.

Hmmm...in my house, he'd have had trouble sitting down for a few days, what with those pot handles sticking out of his arse.

LMAO!!!! :rofl:

I don't know about this alpha stuff...you be nice to me, and I'll be nice to you. After you go pick up my plugs at the pharmacy, that is.

 

[CandieGirl]

Just couldn't help it........

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/18181-man-up-nice-guy-reference.html

OP,
These are things I've known since I was in my twenties.

You cannot tell a woman which type of sanitary pad works for her and which ones don't and to what degree. You cannot even tell her which medication works best for her menstrual cramps.
Similarly, you alone know your problem, what you have tried and to what degree it has worked.
What's important is if , and how can it WORK FOR YOU.
This is not about them and their relationships.
This is not about your wife either.
Its about you taking charge of your life and relationship.

This has got to be a joke...

 

[TCSRedhead]

I agree with this.

I believe it's true of anyone, male or female, who has a healthy self esteem...we're attracted to people who exude confidence. After all, if a person doubts themselves all the time shouldn't we doubt them too? They know themselves better than we do.

My sense is being a "more dominant" male; disregarding her feelings, doing less around the house, taking her at your will, doing what you want only works with woman with low self esteem. They go along not out of respect...but out of fear.

The important thing is to be yourself and be proud of who you are. That's what's going to attract a quality woman.

I agree completely - it's all about the confidence, not the behaviors per se. I know what attracted me to my husband is that he exuded all sorts of confidence in what he did and said. It was extremely sexy!

 

[In_The_Wind]

Women want the alpha, but how can you attain it? I myself don't think of myself as a pure alpha. I used to be nice and try to get along with everyone. However, over the years I learned that it's better to be more alpha for your career and in your marriage.

Some things I try to do myself that have helped me:

-Whenever there's a decision to be made, I try to decide one way or another without hesitation. Even if it's as small as where are we going to eat or what do I want to do. I decide and she follows.

-I'm not as nice to my spouse in terms of helping around the house or with my kid. I don't show her much affection. Whatever she does, I do a bit less. This makes her like me more.

My sex life has improved as a result. Any other ideas? Becoming the alpha is a learning process...

Why dont you just be yourself a pure alpha is like a sasquatch or try someone in prison. Again you dont have be not nice or helpful

 

[Cre8ify]

Hmmm...in my house, he'd have had trouble sitting down for a few days, what with those pot handles sticking out of his arse.

More likely she is the one walking a little gingerly this morning. Whatever works for ya...I am confident that plugs are not my deal.

 

[CandieGirl]

More likely she is the one walking a little gingerly this morning. Whatever works for ya...I am confident that plugs are not my deal.

Then she's probably a little too 'beta'. I like a good mix of fire in my house; like I said, you be nice to me, I be nice to you. Otherwise it's just not a happy home, and neither of us want that.

 

[trex]

When did you get a vagina? Until you do, just stop telling or speaking on behalf of women. I know what I believe and I sure as heck don't need some dude to tell me what I want. You are also wrong, for me at least. The simple fact that you think you know what women want and are so bold to speak for an entire sex, makes you sexual napalm to me. Tell me again about how I get turned on, I friggin dare you.

Perhaps the original post was a little over-stated, but YIKES. Having fun on the forums is one thing, but let's not throw a wet blanket over someone who's trying to do the right thing.

And the fact of the matter is, there are many women who (unknowingly, mostly) trample boundaries and disrespect the nice guy in a very unreasonable way. While being a gentleman and defending your boundaries are not mutually exclusive, this can be a very difficult tightrope to walk, and these same women will often fight back when their men try to do the right thing.

If you are not one of these women, then I sincerely admire you, and your man should appreciate you for it.

 

[Azure]

Adex, I don't understand why men in society have to be one extreme or the other: either a$$holes or total whimpy losers. Why can't you have your own opinions, be confident, ambitious, strong, protect your wife and family, but still act like a gentleman, and fulfill your wife's emotional needs?

If I was with a man who did what you do: "I don't show her much affection. Whatever she does, I do a bit less. This makes her like me more." I would HATE him!

I once dated a controlling manipulative alpha male who thought he could tell me how to live my life, what career to pursue, where I'm going to live, how often I will visit my family. I left him so quick and was so lucky to dodge that bullet.

I am now married to a beta guy who has no confidence, passive about everything, passive aggressive because he can't even express his anger, lacks true ambition, and thinks he's the victim. I'm leaving him in 2 weeks.

 

[Deejo]

Adex, I don't understand why men in society have to be one extreme or the other: either a$$holes or total whimpy losers. Why can't you have your own opinions, be confident, ambitious, strong, protect your wife and family, but still act like a gentleman, and fulfill your wife's emotional needs?

I am now married to a beta guy who has no confidence, passive about everything, passive aggressive because he can't even express his anger, lacks true ambition, and thinks he's the victim. I'm leaving him in 2 weeks.

Anyone that believes that 'being a jerk' is the goal, simply doesn't get it. I stopped trying to make them get it a very long time ago.

But ... here is what I can tell you the goal is ... exactly the words you wrote above and I bolded.

The goal is being a better, more self-aware, and accountable man ... whether your wife loves it or hates it is immaterial. On the whole, those behaviors make you a better, and more attractive man.

And I am sorry that things didn't work out for you, but respect your decision to find something that does.

 

[Stonewall]

I really needed to be more alpha. I wish I had recognized this 25 years ago. I could have avoided a lot of problems if I had but thats water over the dam now. I am working on it nowadays but I could never do the hold back affection thing no matter how hard I try. That is just a bridge to far for me.

 

[Azure]

WHY would you hold back affection? What is this bologny all you males are advocating on this site? NO NO NO.

 

[johnnycomelately]

WHY would you hold back affection? What is this bologny all you males are advocating on this sit? NO NO NO.

Not all males. I think it is ridiculous to hold back on affection, if you can't be who you are life is not worth living.

 

[Azure]

sorry for saying *all* but I've been seeing it a lot in many threads on alpha vs beta men. For some reason, some of you think you need to be a jerk for a woman to like you ?!!