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What is porn sex to you, what is your definition of porn sex?

4.2K views 49 replies 22 participants last post by  FloridaGuy1  
#1 ·
I was amused a bit by recent themed posts and others, that use the term porn-sex in different scenarios, mostly negative, some positive, and the term porn-sex apparently is thought to be self explanatory.

But seeing the range of use it's also fairly nebulous and susceptible to different interpretations.

(The you/your terms are generic btw)

Two questions I guess.
1.What is your or your believed definition of porn-sex?
2. Is your referring to it always in a negative, positive, or can be both? Why the differences if used both ways?
 
#4 ·
Seeing the term in various threads so in context, both men and women use it as in he wants porn sex, or she wants porn sex, or she/he makes me feel like I'm bad for asking for more passionate sex... a guy says he wants a bj now and then....gets met with oh you want want porn sex......or a woman says no to receiving oral, because you want me to have porn sex, you pervert you.

Kind of in that or those loose contexts. So, I'm seeing the term porn-sex means different things to different people.

So any spouse who wants to give or get enthusiastic sex, be part of an enthusiastic sex couple can get hit with oh you want a porn sex star. Both genders.

So, what is porn sex, really to folks? Can it just be really enthusiastic sex, or?
 
#3 · (Edited)
In most porn movies women are usually the main focus points, the men are there just as supporting roles.
In my opinion women that do porn are sex workers no different from prostitutes and how I perceive this is as consensual rape and women dehumanising themselves to no more than sexual objects.
Women that participate on social media such as OnlyFans and sex cams can literally sign up and within minutes they are porn stars.
I believe this has now gone way over the top and out of proportion.
The standard of a society is judged by the moral values of it`s women.
In my opinion a sad sign of the times.
 
#6 ·
Th
It most porn movies women are usually the main focus points, the men are there just as supporting roles.
In my opinion women that do porn are sex workers no different from prostitutes and how I perceive this is as consensual rape and women dehumanising themselves to no more than sexual objects.
Women that participate on social media such as OnlyFans and sex cams can literally sign up and within minutes they are porn stars.
I believe this has now gone way over the top and out of proportion.
The standard of a society is judged by the moral values of it`s women.
In my opinion a sad sign of the times.
Those are examples of porn and porn sites. Thanks, maybe I wasn't clear.

My question is what type or types of sex defines the sex, when a poster throws out the term.
 
#5 ·
I take it to mean emulating sex you see in a porn. So it could have a wide range that fits in that description. From a HJ to an orgy.

I think it is used in negative terms mostly. In those cases you are trying to emulate something that really isn't enjoyable for one or both people because porn is meant to get the viewer off. That doesn't mean it is enjoyable for the performers. Often they use awkward positions to give a good view of the action but are not comfortable when put into practice. The performers put on the show like they enjoy it, but I suspect if they were just going for pleasure they wouldn't be doing some of the acrobatic circus act.

When porn sex is used in a positive sense, I think people are talking about the passion and enthusiasm they are seeing. Again, it may be an act for the performers, but when your partner is truly enjoying the sex to the point they could pass for an actor in a porn it is something pretty amazing.
 
#10 ·
I take it to mean emulating sex you see in a porn. So it could have a wide range that fits in that description. From a HJ to an orgy.

I think it is used in negative terms mostly. In those cases you are trying to emulate something that really isn't enjoyable for one or both people because porn is meant to get the viewer off. That doesn't mean it is enjoyable for the performers. Often they use awkward positions to give a good view of the action but are not comfortable when put into practice. The performers put on the show like they enjoy it, but I suspect if they were just going for pleasure they wouldn't be doing some of the acrobatic circus act.

When porn sex is used in a positive sense, I think people are talking about the passion and enthusiasm they are seeing. Again, it may be an act for the performers, but when your partner is truly enjoying the sex to the point they could pass for an actor in a porn it is something pretty amazing.
Your last paragraph sums it up for my opinion, in that it's just enthusiastic sex.

And if someone is against a particular position or act the term porn-sex is nowadays thrown out as a justification for their personal opinions.
 
#18 ·
I don't disagree. And certainly enslavement of either sex is abhorrent. Or abuse, etc etc. I'm with you.

But a bit off the targeted topic. Looking at what sex acts, activities, compromise the use of the term.

It appears to me some folks say if a woman or guy wants oral (or pick your act) now or then ....if once or twice a year ok, but three times a year or a part of regular sex.....out comes the accusation you pervert you, you only want a porn actor or actress and porn sex.

So I'm thinking it's kind of subjective, depends on an individual's opinion, and in a lot of cases accusation is used like a weapon.

But in reality folks, couples, Ms, ltrs, have been having outstanding sex for thousands of years.

Maybe porn-sex used in some cases is only today's current vernacular, for ease in replacing terms like lewd, laviscious, bawdy, dirty, uncommon, and so forth. Easy to use and quick to cut one another when one just doesn't want to have sex with the other. Awful. Or is it?
 
#22 ·
I've had conversations with you about my husbands porn addiction. So, in all fairness, I will tell you my story.

Some say porn is a term for something a partner is not willing to do. Some say it is cheating on your spouse to just watch it. I don't agree with either of those, not that I'm saying they are wrong with the way they feel about it. I just feel differently.

When I was 18 I dated 24 year old guy. I had never seen a porn movie. But I did have threesomes with him and group sex. I loved it, I couldn't enough of it. I was sort of drunk on the power I had with men. Or thought I had but really didn't, they used me for the obvious. He decided no more, he wanted me to stop, he wanted a relationship. I didn't love him so I didn't. Or maybe back then, I didn't know what real love was, respect, kindness and so on. When feelings get involved, people get hurt. Otherwise, you don't care what they do.

He told everyone how I hurt him, what we done. Some how, it only reflected badly on me. My sister lived in the same small town, she caught hell because of me. All my friends, but one, when they found out what I did, ditched me. When would I do it with their boyfriends or husbands. In their eyes I wore the scarlet letter. A lady I worked with, her husband was friends with his father. I was tortured by men I worked with, people they knew, I was the easy girl to get. The women didn't have respect for me. I didn't have any respect for myself.

It took years, to get myself straight. Am I the same 18 year old reckless girl today, oh no. I learned from my mistake. If I hadn't stopped I probably would have ended up in the gutter somewhere dead or with HIV. You cannot live that kind of life and see a different out come from it. But it is still my cross to bare when I see anyone who knew. It has shaped the person I am today. You cannot live a life like that with someone you care about without someone getting hurt.

But I don't feel porn is the definition of something they watch you are not willing to do or have not done already. I've always been comfortable with my sexuality, what I like, what I want and I helped him become more comfortable with himself. He and I were around thirty when we met, both been married before. So, we had sex partners and never really discussed our sexual past. He was more on the reserved side of sex than me.

It is not something I am proud of in my life. At this moment as I type this out, I still feel shame. So, when I hear people, they are bored, they want a threesome or whatever. But their spouse won't. Maybe they should be glad someone is there to help keep them straight. The consequences we suffer sometimes are greater than reward. Its just a damn fantasy, all fun and games, until your actions hurts another.

Fast forward to my life now. Do I think my husband cheated because he watched porn. No. With any addiction, it takes over your life, your priorities, your thoughts and you actions. They are not the same person they once were. You will do anything to get that high no matter who you hurt and the damage you cause. He almost lost his job because of it, everyone that knows has pretty much alienated him due to it. He wears shame daily and he has to deal with it. I can go on for hours.

Imagine his surprise when I told him my darkest secret, my darkest time. Perhaps it's why I could see the sickness he had, I helped another human being to get the help he needed. Not the man I adored anymore. Don't miss understand, I didn't make it easy on him either. I took my * walk. I took my shame. However, I did whatever it took to become a better human being because of it. I expect no less from him. Is he held accountable for his actions, you bet. In every single way.

Some say I am weak, desperate, gullible because I stayed to help him. Others, have tried to paint me as a saint and special. I don't allow that either. I am just trying to survive.
Not really on topic. This isn't an activist thread, kindly refrain from thread jacking.
 
#28 ·
I observe from reading some posters either it's meant as a snappy comment to dissuade a H or W from wanting sex at a particular time, sometimes months, or some using it as a crutch when stating they don't want to try a particular act. And that's fine, just human nature.

It's the wide variation of definitions implied that I just happened to find interesting.

Like when people have different opinions of what's heavy when lifting weights or moving furniture.
To some, moving 20lbs is heavy, some say that's light, for others nothing is considered heavy until 100lbs or whatever.

But heavy is used correctly as related to either person. But the items weight varies greatly.

I'm starting to think it just depends on the individual's opinion. It only becomes debatable when one insists their opinion is the only correct one.

Thanks for helping with this. Seems it only depends on individual pov. I don't have the answer myself.
 
#31 ·
I would refer to porn sex as the kind of sex that only services a man's need. The girl shows up already for horny and no need for seduction or foreplay. They get straight down to satisfying the man and fulfilling his fantasy. The woman will probably fake a loud orgasm to make him think he's doing a good job. Once he cums game over....unless he has a friend.
 
#37 ·
Based on how you asked the question, I have two answers. What it means on TAM, and what it means to me. On TAM I do think it has a negative connotation. I usually only see the term on the CWI or SIM forums. In CWI it's sometimes used interchangeably with the term "monkey sex". Basically it's defined by literally any sex act that a BW hasn't done, or refuses to do with the BH but enthusiastically does with the OM. On thew the SIM forum it usually describe some guy that is only having infrequent sex in only the missionary position that is trying to get his wife to try new things to no avail. To some couples even something like doggy position is seen as taboo.

As for my definition of porn sex, I would describe it as the kind of sex I had when when you're married and its your Birthday, or Father's day, or the kids are with the grandparents. Your wife breaks out the lingerie and its more of a big deal. I'm not saying my normal sex life was bad when married, however. Tuesday night sex was different than even Saturday night sex, there is work tomorrow small children to get to school in the morning etc. Now that I am older and my kids are too I have found my partner and I have the time to enjoy each other more than when I was married with much younger children. Just my thoughts.
 
#38 ·
Based on how you asked the question, I have two answers. What it means on TAM, and what it means to me. On TAM I do think it has a negative connotation. I usually only see the term on the CWI or SIM forums. In CWI it's sometimes used interchangeably with the term "monkey sex". Basically it's defined by literally any sex act that a BW hasn't done, or refuses to do with the BH but enthusiastically does with the OM. On thew the SIM forum it usually describe some guy that is only having infrequent sex in only the missionary position that is trying to get his wife to try new things to no avail. To some couples even something like doggy position is seen as taboo.

As for my definition of porn sex, I would describe it as the kind of sex I had when when you're married and its your Birthday, or Father's day, or the kids are with the grandparents. Your wife breaks out the lingerie and its more of a big deal. I'm not saying my normal sex life was bad when married, however. Tuesday night sex was different than even Saturday night sex, there is work tomorrow small children to get to school in the morning etc. Now that I am older and my kids are too I have found my partner and I have the time to enjoy each other more than when I was married with much younger children. Just my thoughts.
Wife and I use the term wild monkey porn sex now and then. Because we think it's a hilarious saying, funny and sometimes appropo.

Sexual encounter types vary, definitely agree. We don't view the term in a negative way but funny.
 
#45 ·
Porn sex to me, is sex that is not just vanilla sex. Where she just lays there and maybe rotate around a few routine positions.

Porn sex is more adventurous. It could be anything that is exciting for the both of you. It is like the stuff you read about on here when the guy gets cheated on and she did all things with the OM that she would never do for you.

A question I do have, why would a woman want porn sex. Is she really into it? Or maybe doing it to please her partner.

I sometimes think it is novelty, something exciting and new that takes sex to a different level.
 
#49 ·
When I use the term porn sex, I am meaning high-energy, ultra enthusiastic, multi-position, hard core sex with lots of loud moaning and groaning and screaming orgasms… y’know, the stuff we dream of and think that everyone else is doing, but in reality probably very few actually are.

kinda like professional wrestling - a cheap thrill to watch others doing it as part of a fantasy storyline, but something that probably doesn’t happen that much in real life.