Ok I will start from the top. My husband was acting very suspicious a few months ago. We have been married for 12 years and have 4 boys. I know him well so I could tell when he started to be more secretive with his phone and how he would leave the room when he got a call. I asked him if everything was ok and he said that it was. Sex has always been good and our children are happy. I knew that something didn't feel right so I started to snoop.
I used to sneak and check the internet history on his phone and ipad and it was always deleted. I also noticed that the call history on his phone was always deleted. I confronted him about it and he said that he deletes it because it makes his phone slow. I asked a few friends who know about computers and they told me that this shouldn't affect the speed of his phone. I tried to get information by hooking his phone to the computer but honestly, I didn't know what I was looking for.
Finally, I went online and got a copy of our phone bill. I found a number that he called and texted many times per day. The phone calls were brief but there were literally hundreds of texts between them. I did a reverse lookup on white pages but the number didn't pull up anything. A friend suggested that I search the number on google to possibly find a facebook page. When I searched on google, the first link was for a backpage.com ad.
It led me to a page for an escort. The woman was beautiful. I mean drop dead gorgeous. It hurt me because I knew I could never compete with that. It was obvious that this was the person that he has been texting because the number was on her page multiple times. The page basically said that is available as an escort and it talks about other things such as her measurements and other stuff that I thought didn't matter to me.
I broke down and confronted my husband. I really didn't want to lose him but I told him I knew he cheated on me and I wanted him out of the house. He didn't admit it until I slowly showed my hand and told him what she looked like. He finally admitted everything and said that he did cheat. His story kept changing and it just didn't feel right so I still wanted him to leave. He admitted to me that the escort was his best friends idea and they actually had a 3 way. He said that he was curious about the 3 way and that he was scared to tell me because I denied him the opportunity to have a 3 way with me a few years back when he asked.
On one hand, I was hurt. On the other, I was glad that he came clean. I told him that I felt insecure about how beautiful she was and that I would have had the 3 way if it would have kept him from not cheating. We decided to stay together and work on the marriage. One of the stipulations is that he never erase his phone history or call log. He still talks to his best friend who is also married but we agreed that we will work on our own problems and not drag his wife into this.
This past week at work, I was talking to a girlfriend about everything. I told her how beautiful the other girl was and how it made me insecure. She asked me to look at the page so I showed it to her. She was immediately able to pick up on several hints in the ad; hints that I overlooked. There were things like "fully functional" and "pre-surgery" that meant nothing to me. She told me that these are terms that tranvestites use. I didn't believe her and we went back and forth on it.
I couldn't get over it so we got her brother to call the number. He pretended to want to use her as an escort and he also asked her very specific things about her anatomy. She said that she is an transvestite and has had 2 major operations. She claimed to be disease free and that her penis was still functional.
Now I totally lost it. This basically means that my husband and his best friend knowingly slept with a tranny. Now I have to wonder what other sick stuff he has been doing behind my back. I tried to tell myself that maybe he didn't notice and thought it was a woman but everyone is telling me that isn't possible and even a blind man could tell that it was a woman. Furthermore, I don't know how many times he slept with him. First he said once, then 3 times. Another time, he said he didn't remember how many times it was.
What should I do? I'm totally lost and have began to reconcile with him. Should I confront him with this new evidence? I'm also convinced that maybe he has been secretly contacting the escort at work or with a second phone. the communication between them came to a crashing stop when I confronted him. I just find that sort of odd. Any advice would be appreciated and thanks.
I used to sneak and check the internet history on his phone and ipad and it was always deleted. I also noticed that the call history on his phone was always deleted. I confronted him about it and he said that he deletes it because it makes his phone slow. I asked a few friends who know about computers and they told me that this shouldn't affect the speed of his phone. I tried to get information by hooking his phone to the computer but honestly, I didn't know what I was looking for.
Finally, I went online and got a copy of our phone bill. I found a number that he called and texted many times per day. The phone calls were brief but there were literally hundreds of texts between them. I did a reverse lookup on white pages but the number didn't pull up anything. A friend suggested that I search the number on google to possibly find a facebook page. When I searched on google, the first link was for a backpage.com ad.
It led me to a page for an escort. The woman was beautiful. I mean drop dead gorgeous. It hurt me because I knew I could never compete with that. It was obvious that this was the person that he has been texting because the number was on her page multiple times. The page basically said that is available as an escort and it talks about other things such as her measurements and other stuff that I thought didn't matter to me.
I broke down and confronted my husband. I really didn't want to lose him but I told him I knew he cheated on me and I wanted him out of the house. He didn't admit it until I slowly showed my hand and told him what she looked like. He finally admitted everything and said that he did cheat. His story kept changing and it just didn't feel right so I still wanted him to leave. He admitted to me that the escort was his best friends idea and they actually had a 3 way. He said that he was curious about the 3 way and that he was scared to tell me because I denied him the opportunity to have a 3 way with me a few years back when he asked.
On one hand, I was hurt. On the other, I was glad that he came clean. I told him that I felt insecure about how beautiful she was and that I would have had the 3 way if it would have kept him from not cheating. We decided to stay together and work on the marriage. One of the stipulations is that he never erase his phone history or call log. He still talks to his best friend who is also married but we agreed that we will work on our own problems and not drag his wife into this.
This past week at work, I was talking to a girlfriend about everything. I told her how beautiful the other girl was and how it made me insecure. She asked me to look at the page so I showed it to her. She was immediately able to pick up on several hints in the ad; hints that I overlooked. There were things like "fully functional" and "pre-surgery" that meant nothing to me. She told me that these are terms that tranvestites use. I didn't believe her and we went back and forth on it.
I couldn't get over it so we got her brother to call the number. He pretended to want to use her as an escort and he also asked her very specific things about her anatomy. She said that she is an transvestite and has had 2 major operations. She claimed to be disease free and that her penis was still functional.
Now I totally lost it. This basically means that my husband and his best friend knowingly slept with a tranny. Now I have to wonder what other sick stuff he has been doing behind my back. I tried to tell myself that maybe he didn't notice and thought it was a woman but everyone is telling me that isn't possible and even a blind man could tell that it was a woman. Furthermore, I don't know how many times he slept with him. First he said once, then 3 times. Another time, he said he didn't remember how many times it was.
What should I do? I'm totally lost and have began to reconcile with him. Should I confront him with this new evidence? I'm also convinced that maybe he has been secretly contacting the escort at work or with a second phone. the communication between them came to a crashing stop when I confronted him. I just find that sort of odd. Any advice would be appreciated and thanks.
