[BobSimmons]

Hey everybody,

It's been a long time since I looked at this thread, but here I am almost two years down the road and I thought I would update it.

Most days I am doing much better. The main issues I face every now and then are self-esteem related. Being cheated on like I was, really did a number on my self-esteem. Some days, my self-esteem is fine. Other days, not so much.

I find myself having a very negative self-image for the past few days. I can't put my finger on the exact cause. I think it may just be some sort of flare up.

I'm still with my gf of over a year now. She is awesome beyond words and does her best to help me through my issues. I feel bad for even having issues to begin with which sort of feeds into a cycle.

Low Self-Esteem->feel bad for it->Lower Self-Esteem.

Did any of you infidelity survivors have low self-esteem afterward and if so, how did you deal with it?

What causes one to have low self esteem.. the operative word is self.. it's not someone putting you down, it's not a group, it's you.

Do you have low self esteem because you were cheated on? Even though it wasn't your fault? So now you're putting that on yourself.

Why not flip it around. You got cheated on, got rid of the cancer and have moved onto a wonderful women who makes you feel good.

Yes I've been betrayed and yes for a while I moped, walked around looking at the ground..but guess what, nobody gives a toss..all they see is a dude walking around with his head down, rewind the scene and you could be walking around with a bounce in your step whistling a tune and people would go wow, he's a cool guy and treat you in kind.

Enjoy your life and your woman. Use that to fuel the new self.

 

[Lovemytruck]

Here is a post that I read on TAM a few weeks ago:

An Overview of the Drama Triangle

It will give you a good perspective on the ups and downs we face after this stuff happens.

 

[yottazenzen]

@lovemytruck - Thank you for taking time to post this my friend. It made me feel much better to know that 1) I'm not alone and 2) I'm not a freak for feeling the way I do now and then.

Again, thanks friend.

 

[Lovemytruck]

@lovemytruck - Thank you for taking time to post this my friend. It made me feel much better to know that 1) I'm not alone and 2) I'm not a freak for feeling the way I do now and then.

Again, thanks friend.

Anytime!

 

[yottazenzen]

You were very dignified during a difficult time. No one could forget your thread and the nastiness of your ex. Banging the neighbor while the kids were in the house – beyond the pale.

Is she in any sort of stable relationship? Has she ever expressed regret or remorse?

How are your kids handling it?

Thanks for asking. Kids are doing pretty well. Ex has been with the same guy for over a year now and she seems stable which is good. She said she was sorry a a long time ago. I forgave her for my own sanity but I will never forget what she did. Especially the thing where she banged the neighbor guy in my house with my kids there. That is probably the one thing that pisses me off the most.