[theloveofmylife]

If she starts and she gets shut down once she probably will never open up again.

Yep. And, pro tip for the guys: give her a chance to work her way up if she starts with more romantic stuff. Don't just shut her down saying it's too tame, because she might just be sticking her toe in to test the water. Don't make the water too cold to go in further. Or go ahead and do that if you want to, but then you don't get to complain about it.

 

[Ragnar Ragnasson]

Hey, at a garden party over the weekend I was with my W when she told another woman my H tells me I'm his favorite toy and grabbed my butt.
I'd just walked up, the conversation was about men and their toys, and the timing was just right.
Yep, she's still my nekkid fantasy.

 

[leftfield]

Talking about fantasies and seeing how well we could make them work, is exactly what I would love to do with my wife. I think it would incredibly intimate and strengthen our bond. It would also be fun and likely funny.

Unfortunately for me, my wife has a different view of this. Which is funny, but don't tell her I ever said that.

I would really like to hear what @Personal has to say about this.

 

[Lovingwife71]

My wife and I have started to share some of our fantasies and stories....my wife always seems more reluctant to share than me but eventually warms up to it? Is this normal?

Also, she has finally admitted that she fantasizes about other men (faceless) take her from behind in her favourite position..... is it normal for women to not want to share that they get aroused thinking of others?

I have to say, for me personally, I don't really think about others. So when my H keeps asking me about my fantasies, I don't share them because I don't think they are what he wants to hear. When men ask about fantasies I feel they usually want to hear about other people. My fantasies include more romantic thoughts about my H and me and I don't think that would excite him. Maybe your wife is similar. Eventually, when pressed over and over, we might say something to the effect of what your W said, about a faceless man, just to appease you. That's true for me. Just my perspective though.

 

[BigDaddyNY]

I have to say, for me personally, I don't really think about others. So when my H keeps asking me about my fantasies, I don't share them because I don't think they are what he wants to hear. When men ask about fantasies I feel they usually want to hear about other people. My fantasies include more romantic thoughts about my H and me and I don't think that would excite him. Maybe your wife is similar. Eventually, when pressed over and over, we might say something to the effect of what your W said, about a faceless man, just to appease you. That's true for me. Just my perspective though.

For me personally, when I've asked my wife about her fantasies I really had no specific expectations. I hoped she would give an honest answer though, because my goal was more about an intimate discussion than the specifics of the fantasy. I see it as a very intimate topic that can generate a closeness that other topics may not create. After all these years together I have a pretty good idea of how she thinks, so again it was mostly about just having the conversation. Now if it happened to be a specific and attainable fantasy then maybe we could make it happen. Which she has done for me.

Like many relationship topics, it is a bad idea to keep pestering her about it to the point of being annoyed.

 

[Ragnar Ragnasson]

Something that may be lost here, is the detail that most Hs fantasize about their W being, acting, in sexual acts with them.

Wives may be surprised or maybe not, I suppose, to know that if they the W got a bit wilder sexually they would be meeting most of their Hs fantasies. Maybe the Ws don't want to hear that, but maybe just need to be reminded time to time.

 

[Lovingwife71]

Something that may be lost here, is the detail that most Hs fantasize about their W being, acting, in sexual acts with them.

Wives may be surprised or maybe not, I suppose, to know that if they the W got a bit wilder sexually they would be meeting most of their Hs fantasies. Maybe the Ws don't want to hear that, but maybe just need to be reminded time to time.

Definitely want to hear that. Being wilder, not a problem. For some reason, I always feel when my H asks me about my fantasies, he wants to hear something really raunchy or something that includes other people. I could be way off base, but whenever he asks me I tell him I'll think about it and then never answer him. I hope he'll forget about it but he doesn't get the hint. The last time he asked it caused a big argument and he told me pretty much what you just said. I believe him, and it's good to hear other men saying the same thing. Thanks for the reassurance

 

[BigDaddyNY]

Definitely want to hear that. Being wilder, not a problem. For some reason, I always feel when my H asks me about my fantasies, he wants to hear something really raunchy or something that includes other people. I could be way off base, but whenever he asks me I tell him I'll think about it and then never answer him. I hope he'll forget about it but he doesn't get the hint. The last time he asked it caused a big argument and he told me pretty much what you just said. I believe him, and it's good to hear other men saying the same thing. Thanks for the reassurance

The last thing I would want to hear from my wife is that she fantasizes about being with other men, especially if she made it sound like she really wanted to make it a reality. That certainly isn't anything I fantasize about. I'm with @Ragnar Ragnasson My fantasies are about doing wild thing with my wife in wild places.

 

[Mr.Married]

Maybe she doesn’t want y’all to know she is hot for her Brother In Law.

 

[oldshirt]

Basically ALL fantasies are “normal.”

There’s nothing new under the sun. If you can dream it, someone out there is into it.

The question people need to ask is not whether it is ‘normal’ (it is). the question people need to be asking is whether it’s something they actually want to explore/experience in real life, or just keep it in the realm of fun fantasy in their imagination.

And if it’s something they do want to explore/experience, then the important question is whether it is mutually consensual by all parties involved and effected by it.

But the bottom line is we all have fantasies (even those who say they don’t) and it is normal to have whatever fantasies you have.

 

[FloridaGuy1]

Maybe she doesn’t want y’all to know she is hot for her Brother In Law.

No, but a sister in law would be acceptable!

 

[Mr.Married]

No, but a sister in law would be acceptable!

So are you going to watch if your wife bangs your sister ??? Must be a Florida thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ….

just joking….

So uuummm ….. is your sister hot ??? Asking for a friend.

 

[BigDaddyNY]

Basically ALL fantasies are “normal.”

There’s nothing new under the sun. If you can dream it, someone out there is into it.

The question people need to ask is not whether it is ‘normal’ (it is). the question people need to be asking is whether it’s something they actually want to explore/experience in real life, or just keep it in the realm of fun fantasy in their imagination.

And if it’s something they do want to explore/experience, then the important question is whether it is mutually consensual by all parties involved and effected by it.

But the bottom line is we all have fantasies (even those who say they don’t) and it is normal to have whatever fantasies you have.

A lot of people do seem to jump to the conclusion that everyone wants their fantasies to come true and that just isn't reality.

 

[Ragnar Ragnasson]

Good point.

 

[dadstartingover]

The sharing of fantasies is a crucial part of our relationship. No judgment. No shame.
Speaking of fantasies... This is the most popular podcast episode my wife and I have done to date (we talk about our sex life).

This is the youtube version. You can see the other podcast options here: Dad Starting Over

 

[Young at Heart]

My wife and I have started to share some of our fantasies and stories....my wife always seems more reluctant to share than me but eventually warms up to it? Is this normal?

Also, she has finally admitted that she fantasizes about other men (faceless) take her from behind in her favourite position..... is it normal for women to not want to share that they get aroused thinking of others?

A few random thoughts. "Normal" can also refer to a bell-shaped curve. For something to be within a normal distribution range means it can be pretty far from either the mean or the median and quite unusual. Some things are just more common than others. You are individuals, focus on what you both want or would find interesting to try. Don't worry about what others may or may not want to do or how common it is the things the two of you both want to do.

The Sex Therapist who helped my wife and me save our marriage had us take a Yes/No/Maybe list separately and then share them after we had filled them out. That is a good way to initiate sharing of sexual desires among a couple and can even includes some fantasy sharing.

Some sexual fantasies are best left to the imagination. Role playing can expand the range of sexual acts that can be safely dabbled in. However, all sex should be consensual and should no emotionally harm the marriage.

Someone commented about how you can't have a 12" penis in real life, even if it was your fantasy. Well in a role playing fantasy, you can have either a 12" penis sleeve or strap-on dildo and if your imagination is strong enough that might allow a person to live enough of their fantasy.

There is an interesting TED talk on monogamish about how one can role play a 3-some and yet maintain fidelity if it is important to you (and for most as she points out earlier in the talk open relationships don't often work out). I don't hold much of what she says, but the part at about the 10 minute part does show some ways that a couple who wants monogamy can add non-monogamy role playing to their sex life. Jessica O'Reily Vancouver TED talk on Monogamish

I would say that sharing sexual fantasies takes a lot of courage and so it is not that common. When my wife and I did our Yes/No/Maybe list suggested by the Sex therapist, my wife reacted quite negatively to some of my maybe's. Which required a little extra discussion by the Sex Therapist.

A comment that has stuck with me is "Q: If a husband can't tell his wife his deepest and darkest sexual fantasy to, who can he? A: A prostitute who will respectfully listen, not judge him, and figure out how much she will charge him for it." The point is that you should be able to share your deepest darkest secrets with your spouse. You the two of you should be able to be vulnerable with each other and share taboo thoughts, with fear of being put down or shamed.

Good luck on you and your wife's journey of exploration, but be careful.

 

[FloridaGuy1]

So are you going to watch if your wife bangs your sister ??? Must be a Florida thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ….

just joking….

So uuummm ….. is your sister hot ??? Asking for a friend.

No but my other sister in law (which is also the wife's sister in law) is!

 

[thunderchad]

Also, she has finally admitted that she fantasizes about other men (faceless) take her from behind in her favourite position..... is it normal for women to not want to share that they get aroused thinking of others?

LOL. Women always say the men are faceless. I don't believe that for one second. Do you really think all these women fantasize about faceless men ****ing them? I think they just don't want to hurt their man's feelings by saying who they are actually visualizing.

 

[Divinely Favored]

It really appears that you are bitter against the idea of fantasies...... The whole point is to keep your sex life fun and exciting. You can build trust, and openness and even have good laughs while trying to play out a fantasy. The confidence of openly talking about it with each other is a major turn on as you are basically telling your spouse that I trust you with my thoughts.

We have tried some and both look at each other laughing almost to tears saying this seems so much better in thought 😂😂😂

Also, you would be surprised by the number of men who do not care for a lady with a size 2 waist. My lady is about a 10/12 and that is the size where you just have a little more cushion for the 😁. And as far as the milk cannons go, I feel like the ladies are way too critical of them as we love em all!

Exactly! My wife when we met/married was 5'04" size 1 with full C cup. 25 yrs later and 2 kids, it is now size 7 with DD. I still can't keep my hands off of her body. And she is just fine with that, says I have magic hands.😉😜

 

[ThatDarnGuy!]

Exactly! My wife when we met/married was 5'04" size 1 with full C cup. 25 yrs later and 2 kids, it is now size 8 with DD. I still can't keep my hands off of her body. And she is just fine with that, says I have magic hands.😉😜

My wife was a size 8 when we met and a C cup. After one kid, she is a size 12. She was not happy with her boobs no matter how much I said they were perfect to me. She got implants early last year and is now a DDD.