Glad to see you back.. and you are TOTALLY correct. Self confidence is the root of it all and darn it if seeing another person display that confidence, that is the most sexy thing ever. I am not talking about the pompous kind, but the kind when the person knows deep down a sense of themselves.. a familiarity..a confidence. yes sexy as hell.

 

A person who is confident in their own sexuality is very appealing, regardless of looks. An attractive person constantly complaining about their bodies would be a big turn off.

 

I took a break from this site as I have been busy with life. My big reflection on life and marital intimacy is that so much boils down to self confidence and feeling that you are worthy of being loved. Conquer that and you can conquer life (as messy as it usually is).

Couldn't help but to notice this post:



THAT right there is a manifestation of low self confidence. A spouse concerned about her weight and allowing herself to feed into a self fulfilling prophecy of everyone's worst fear of having never been loved or wanted as a person. Perhaps as a test she will stop having sex and see if that causes problems to validate this fear.

My wife has complained historically that she feels like I use her. These days I confidently tell her that is absolutely true and that unfortunately she has the best warm wet hole in the universe. And then ask her what in the $%^* she does to make it so good, because it is just a simple little hole? ... She then claims that I am the one that gets myself all worked up and that she has nothing to do with that. ... I then confidently claim that I am guilty of allowing myself to think of her doing all sorts of things to me and yes that does get me worked up at no fault of her own. I ask her if she can give me some non-erotic ideas to think about her in a way to help me calm down.

...Perhaps she will tell me to think about helping her to do some yard work. I'll claim that only makes it worse and she has no idea how sexy she looks when she gets all dirty in the yard!

...Perhaps she will tell me to think about taking her shopping for a new car. I'll claim that still makes it worse because of all the fun places I will take her in that new car, just for more sex.

...Perhaps she will tell me I need to go exercise and diet with her. I'll claim that jogging behind her behind does nothing but get me going and make me want to use her even more!

Eventually she starts laughing and I tell her she is doomed to a life of me using her and wanting her more and more, but I'll get away with it because I'm such a handsome devil. I then ask her what horrible atrocities she committed in her previous life to get herself into all this!

Unrealistic self confidence and a good sense of humor can solve a lot of problems. Today we have much better intimacy!

Cheers,
Badsanta

Outstanding! And good to hear from you.

 

Glad you're doing ok and in time for the holiday season no less.😀

 

I took a break from this site as I have been busy with life. My big reflection on life and marital intimacy is that so much boils down to self confidence and feeling that you are worthy of being loved. Conquer that and you can conquer life (as messy as it usually is).

.......My wife has complained historically that she feels like I use her. These days I confidently tell her that is absolutely true and that unfortunately she has the best warm wet hole in the universe. And then ask her what in the $%^* she does to make it so good, because it is just a simple little hole? ... She then claims that I am the one that gets myself all worked up and that she has nothing to do with that. ... I then confidently claim that I am guilty of allowing myself to think of her doing all sorts of things to me and yes that does get me worked up at no fault of her own. I ask her if she can give me some non-erotic ideas to think about her in a way to help me calm down.....

...Perhaps she will tell me I need to go exercise and diet with her. I'll claim that jogging behind her behind does nothing but get me going and make me want to use her even more!

Eventually she starts laughing and I tell her she is doomed to a life of me using her and wanting her more and more, but I'll get away with it because I'm such a handsome devil. I then ask her what horrible atrocities she committed in her previous life to get herself into all this!

Look, the truth, even if said with humor, can destroy a relationship. If a woman has self-image or confidence issues, telling her truthfully that she provides no foreplay, is a starfish in bed, you prefer to not see her body when you make love or a host of things can destroy her desire to be sexual with you.

Your used of satire on this site is well known by regualars. However, this is a topic where someone could get in real trouble by trying to use satire in curring a serious marriage problem. But that is just my opinion.

 

The one thing I don't understand is why some women rag on constantly about this all the time, yet do nothing(or relatively nothing) about it?? The world isn't going to change for you, sorry.....

While there are some guys that would literally fck a warthog that's been laying in shyt for a month in 90 degree heat, most guys out there really appreciate a woman that keeps herself in shape and maintains a nice shape and size-age appropriate of course....

I am not a woman and to each, his or her own, but even as a guy, I'd far rather have the discipline of sensible diet and exercise, than have to deal with the regret and depression of constant body image issues and self doubt...02

 

It's not only the women who have something to work on who lack confidence and worry they aren't "perfect" enough. Paulina Porizkova writes about her own insecurities!!!

Feeling truly confident is complicated and can be elusive, no matter how you look.

 

I'm nothing but a warm hard pole...... Oh well!😁

 

In all fairness, for every woman complaining she feels like nothing than a piece of meat, wet hole or sex toy there’s a man out there that feels like he’s nothing more than walking wallet or a personal assistant.

Sadly you can call out a guy for thinking a lot about sex with his own wife but you can’t call out a wife for comparing you to every other better husband out there she sees.


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My wife has complained historically that she feels like I use her. These days I confidently tell her that is absolutely true

Yay! 😀👍👍👍👏👏👏

 

If it turns your lady on, then good for you both. Your post just confirms my happiness at being single and not just being someone’s arm candy or a mere play toy.

Someone for everyone I guess…


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The hope is that being someone's play toy is the icing on the cake, while the actual cake is a sound relationship.

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How lovely that my struggle is such a hilarious form of amusement.

Sorry to disappoint everyone rooting for my marriage to fail, but my husband has no idea I have these feelings. I come to the internet to vent the crazy so it doesn’t hurt our life.

Believe it or not, one insane internet based breakdown does not in fact define a person. What does define a person is their reaction to someone in pain. Mocking that, as you have done here, must make you feel so very proud.

 

Badsanta has been posting for a while and I don't believe he is trying to mock but help in his own way.

I took it as him being encouraging and not giving up and having a sense of humor about it.

He is just being playful with his wife.

 

a lot of people can not think of themselves in a sexy way.
but the reality is that sexiness is much more about how one acts, how eager they pursue sex, and how they explore new sex interests.

 

Hey, Billy Bob, I knew from the get-go that this thread would catch your tit in the ringer. Your wife may appreciate you being the class clown; but please try to restrain yourself from dragging other people into your antics - especially those who are going through something mental.

 

What does define a person is their reaction to someone in pain.

Well done speaking up!
To an outsider it looks like a class bully entertaining his fans by picking on someone, possibly someone vulnerable for added effect. Not a good look for a site like this. I am sure the notion of being reduced to a hole has been well articulated by women writers elsewhere and if it is only your experience of your own situation it should be perfectly valid for that alone anyway.