Excellent analysis

 

It is quite obvious that any "validation" or thirst for "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts" for a cheater is nothing more in essence than a desire to irritate erogenous zones (including mental zones) and genitals with the help of representatives of the opposite gender, who are not their "official" partners, in order to achieve orgasms through sexual arousal.

I stopped reading right here as I’m calling total BS.
The idea that the one and absolute purpose for infidelity is orgasm tells me you don’t know women that well.

 

I stopped reading right here as I’m calling total BS.
The idea that the one and absolute purpose for infidelity is orgasm tells me you don’t know women that well.

Then how do you respond to my statement: "I would like to note that such things as "validation", "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts" etc. are sought by cheaters from representatives of the opposite gender, and not from representatives of their gender"???.

 

So, I suggest calling a spade a spade when it comes to infidelity.

That means, let's put aside emotions, feelings, and justifications for betrayal based on them. In other words, let's put aside the nonsense about the need to "validate" cheaters, about their desire for "attention", about their thirst for "just/close friendship", for "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts", about their craving for “twin flame” etc.

I would like to note that such things as "validation", "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts" etc. are sought by cheaters from representatives of the opposite gender, and not from representatives of their gender.

It is quite obvious that any "validation" or thirst for "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts" for a cheater is nothing more in essence than a desire to irritate erogenous zones (including mental zones) and genitals with the help of representatives of the opposite gender, who are not their "official" partners, in order to achieve orgasms through sexual arousal.

Thus, sex in various forms with representative of the opposite gender (who is not cheater's "official" partner) is the true purpose and essence of "validation", "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts", seeking for “twin flame” etc. for a cheater.

(By different forms of sex, I also mean virtual sex, nude pics, videos, sexting, chats with sexual overtones of varying degrees of intensity, as well as cheater's sharing information about intimate details of an "official" relationship and of "official" partner with outsiders).

So, any "friendship" between members of the opposite genders in which they share personal intimate experiences or problems in committed relationships is sexual in nature, which is openly recognized by at least one of the "friends". Such "friendship" is part of sexual behavior and precedes sexual physical actions. "Just friends" consciously or unconsciously hide the desire to have sex with each other and get an orgasm with their participation.

During such a “friendship”, sexual arousal necessarily arises and increases. This is the law.

Any sufficiently long-term, close (one-on-one) and intense "innocent" communication between representatives of the opposite genders, in which seemingly abstract topics (work, study, hobbies, political topics, children, etc.) are touched upon, is highly likely to turn into "close friendship" when intimate topics are discussed, the essence and the consequences of which I have already noted above.

And from this follows my main conclusions:

1) An affair occurs ONLY as a result of a cheater's desire for sex in various forms with another partner other than their "official"/committed partner.

2) An affair, emotional or physical, is always an exclusively sexual act that is performed with "non-official" partner and is aimed at getting an orgasm.

3) The essence of any affair is not the satisfaction of the spiritual desire for "love", not "the search for understanding", not "validation", "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts", “being twin flames” but sex, that is, irritation of erogenous zones (including mental - visual and auditory) and the genitals.

4) The essence of the talking stage (form) of infidelity is always sexual in nature, its purpose is sexual arousal, not the satisfaction of the spiritual needs of the cheater.

5) The purpose of any affair is not to solve the cheater's emotional problems or the problems of the cheater's relationship with an "official" partner, but to have an orgasm with another partner.

6) By plotting and carrying out an affair, a cheater clearly chooses for sex and getting an orgasm another partner, rather than their official one.

7) During an affair, that "unofficial" partner(s) is certainly more sexually, romantically, and emotionally attractive to the cheater than their "official" partner. (otherwise, they would not have chosen "unofficial" partner).

So all the cheaters' claims that they "love" their "official" partners more than their “unofficial” ones during an affair are absurd.

8) Therefore, all the talk that the cheater made a mistake by choosing AP rather than BP to solve their mental and relationship problems is complete ****. The cheater chose AP because AP attracted them sexually more than BP and they wanted to reach orgasm with AP.

……………………………………………………



FOR REFERENCE.

From:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/orgasms

What’s an orgasm?

An orgasm is what usually happens when you reach the height of sexual arousal. It usually feels really good. When you have an orgasm — aka cum or climax — sexual tension increases until it reaches a peak, and pressure in your body and genitals is released.

What is sexual arousal?

Arousal is the feeling of being turned on sexually. When you’re turned on, your body experiences physical and emotional changes. Your penis or clitoris may get erect (hard), engorged, and sensitive, and you may feel wetness on your vulva or vagina, or on the tip of your penis.

You can become aroused from sexual stimulation alone or with a partner, fantasizing or having sexual thoughts, or reading, watching, or listening to erotic materials (like porn). Arousal can also happen when certain parts of your body are touched that are very sensitive (also called "erogenous zones"). But not everyone feels sexually aroused from touch.

My experiences with women suggest that sex is often a tool rather than a reason.

 

Or another way to word it is sex is often a means to an end but rarely the end-goal in and of itself.

 

There are so many exception to all of those points that it is basically a screen door on a submarine.

Yes there a few points that have some validity in some instances, but there are so many exceptions, nuances and other factors involved that the essay basically has so many holes that the screen door analogy applies.

 

Sounds like you’re looking for a simple explanation for a complex scenario that has a lot of variability from individual to individual. Yes, there are common themes and through-lines, but I’m not sure a simple, universal “essence” exists.

 

a desire to irritate erogenous zones (including mental zones) and genitals with the help of representatives of the opposite gender

I'm feeling some of that irritation in my mental zones

 

The simplest word you can equate an affair to is betrayal. I cannot think of one instance that it wouldn’t be.

The rest has far too many complexities.

 

That means, let's put aside emotions, feelings, and justifications for betrayal based on them

Very simple. Genetic variation.

As a species, we all are wired to mate with as many as possible. Then comes what cultural pressures are placed; such as morals, economics, attraction, etc., etc., all to the various degrees to which each individual is genetically made of. Most have the drive strongly. Some very little. In the end is what we choose to do with the promises made.

No matter what some people believe, we humans are not monogamous by nature; if we were we wouldn't be talking about infidelity, because it wouldn't exist for us.

 

If the many stories on TAM are any indication, it seems like affairs are escapes for spouses who don’t want to divorce, but aren’t happy either in their marriage, or in life…or both. Most of the stories we read about here, are by betrayed spouses who share that whenever the affair was discovered by them, their cheating wife/husband acted terrified of divorce. So, it just sounds like most people who cheat don’t really want to go through the agony of divorce, but they want to escape the marriage for some validation, sex or fun. Or all of that. A lot of affairs have nothing to do with the marriage also, and the cheater is just not cut out for monogamy.

If it was all about the marriage sucking, cheaters would push for divorce, once they’re caught. But, it’s usually the opposite.

 

If the many stories on TAM are any indication, it seems like affairs are escapes for spouses who don’t want to divorce, but aren’t happy either in their marriage, or in life…or both. Most of the stories we read about here, are by betrayed spouses who share that whenever the affair was discovered by them, their cheating wife/husband acted terrified of divorce. So, it just sounds like most people who cheat don’t really want to go through the agony of divorce, but they want to escape the marriage for some validation, sex or fun. Or all of that. A lot of affairs have nothing to do with the marriage also, and the cheater is just not cut out for monogamy.

If it was all about the marriage sucking, cheaters would push for divorce, once they’re caught. But, it’s usually the opposite.

I have personally seen a few people pack up and leave within days of hooking up with the AP. I know one couple that literally met on a Friday night and on Monday both were announcing their departure to their BS’s.

Those are the people with crappy marriages and when they find an AP that will take them in full time, they are gone in a poof of dust.

The people that are in long term affairs or have serial affairs for years are basically cake eaters that want to maintain the benefits of marriage but also want the fun and excitement on the side.

 

So, I suggest calling a spade a spade when it comes to infidelity.

That means, let's put aside emotions, feelings, and justifications for betrayal based on them. In other words, let's put aside the nonsense about the need to "validate" cheaters, about their desire for "attention", about their thirst for "just/close friendship", for "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts", about their craving for “twin flame” etc.

I would like to note that such things as "validation", "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts" etc. are sought by cheaters from representatives of the opposite gender, and not from representatives of their gender.

It is quite obvious that any "validation" or thirst for "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts" for a cheater is nothing more in essence than a desire to irritate erogenous zones (including mental zones) and genitals with the help of representatives of the opposite gender, who are not their "official" partners, in order to achieve orgasms through sexual arousal.

Thus, sex in various forms with representative of the opposite gender (who is not cheater's "official" partner) is the true purpose and essence of "validation", "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts", seeking for “twin flame” etc. for a cheater.

(By different forms of sex, I also mean virtual sex, nude pics, videos, sexting, chats with sexual overtones of varying degrees of intensity, as well as cheater's sharing information about intimate details of an "official" relationship and of "official" partner with outsiders).

So, any "friendship" between members of the opposite genders in which they share personal intimate experiences or problems in committed relationships is sexual in nature, which is openly recognized by at least one of the "friends". Such "friendship" is part of sexual behavior and precedes sexual physical actions. "Just friends" consciously or unconsciously hide the desire to have sex with each other and get an orgasm with their participation.

During such a “friendship”, sexual arousal necessarily arises and increases. This is the law.

Any sufficiently long-term, close (one-on-one) and intense "innocent" communication between representatives of the opposite genders, in which seemingly abstract topics (work, study, hobbies, political topics, children, etc.) are touched upon, is highly likely to turn into "close friendship" when intimate topics are discussed, the essence and the consequences of which I have already noted above.

And from this follows my main conclusions:

1) An affair occurs ONLY as a result of a cheater's desire for sex in various forms with another partner other than their "official"/committed partner.

2) An affair, emotional or physical, is always an exclusively sexual act that is performed with "non-official" partner and is aimed at getting an orgasm.

3) The essence of any affair is not the satisfaction of the spiritual desire for "love", not "the search for understanding", not "validation", "attention", "close friendship", "opening a soul", "sharing the deep thoughts", “being twin flames” but sex, that is, irritation of erogenous zones (including mental - visual and auditory) and the genitals.

4) The essence of the talking stage (form) of infidelity is always sexual in nature, its purpose is sexual arousal, not the satisfaction of the spiritual needs of the cheater.

5) The purpose of any affair is not to solve the cheater's emotional problems or the problems of the cheater's relationship with an "official" partner, but to have an orgasm with another partner.

6) By plotting and carrying out an affair, a cheater clearly chooses for sex and getting an orgasm another partner, rather than their official one.

7) During an affair, that "unofficial" partner(s) is certainly more sexually, romantically, and emotionally attractive to the cheater than their "official" partner. (otherwise, they would not have chosen "unofficial" partner).

So all the cheaters' claims that they "love" their "official" partners more than their “unofficial” ones during an affair are absurd.

8) Therefore, all the talk that the cheater made a mistake by choosing AP rather than BP to solve their mental and relationship problems is complete ****. The cheater chose AP because AP attracted them sexually more than BP and they wanted to reach orgasm with AP.

……………………………………………………



FOR REFERENCE.

From:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/orgasms

What’s an orgasm?

An orgasm is what usually happens when you reach the height of sexual arousal. It usually feels really good. When you have an orgasm — aka cum or climax — sexual tension increases until it reaches a peak, and pressure in your body and genitals is released.

What is sexual arousal?

Arousal is the feeling of being turned on sexually. When you’re turned on, your body experiences physical and emotional changes. Your penis or clitoris may get erect (hard), engorged, and sensitive, and you may feel wetness on your vulva or vagina, or on the tip of your penis.

You can become aroused from sexual stimulation alone or with a partner, fantasizing or having sexual thoughts, or reading, watching, or listening to erotic materials (like porn). Arousal can also happen when certain parts of your body are touched that are very sensitive (also called "erogenous zones"). But not everyone feels sexually aroused from touch.

I agree that sexual attraction usually plays a role in affairs, but to say it’s the only essence is a drastic oversimplification.

If it all boils down to chasing an orgasm, how do you explain the long-term emotional entanglements where sex never happens?

 

I agree that sexual attraction usually plays a role in affairs, but to say it’s the only essence is a drastic oversimplification.

If it all boils down to chasing an orgasm, how do you explain the long-term emotional entanglements where sex never happens?

For the simple reason that sexual arousal leads to sex only under favorable circumstances, which may not occur. You already know that there are many EA that do not transfer to PA solely because partners are located in different states, countries, and continents. But if they have the opportunity to meet, then everything ends with sex.

 

An affair is anything you have to hide. Infidelity isn't just limited to seeing other people. There are many ways to betray.

 

Sex and arousal are part of many affairs - even emotional ones - but speaking from my experience, it's not that simple.

My wife had affairs that lasted years. Yes, sex was involved, but to frame it as nothing more than her trying to "irritate erogenous zones to reach orgasm" ignores the deeper reality of why affairs happen. In her case, with her first AP, it wasn't just about orgasms. It was about feeling seen, wanted, understood, loved, cherished, and valued in ways that she didn't feel from me. Their connection and emotional side of things is what drew her to him, why she fell for him, and wanting sex with him was a continuation of that bond.

Her second AP was the complete opposite of the first. He was abusive, disregarded consent, and gave her none of the emotional intimacy she sought from the first affair. For people with severe childhood trauma, sex can be confused with love, acceptance, and self-worth, and they can be drawn back to situations where they are being used because it matches their early experiences of what intimacy or love was or felt like. She wasn't chasing orgasms, and barely had any with him - she was reenacting trauma and trying to regulate overwhelming feelings of worthlessness.

And I cheated on her as well - both before and after she cheated on me. It was more about sex than her affairs and I jumped right to that, but it still wasn't just a way to get orgasms. Like her, I was seeking things that I wasn't getting from her (sometimes just not in the way that I wanted them). It could look like it was just about sex, but really it was primarily about validation and being desired. It was also about emotional connection at times, when I really started missing that from my wife, and about revenge after she cheated. If all I wanted was to get off, I have a hand for that and it comes with a hell of a lot less complications.

So yeah, affairs typically involve sex and arousal to some degree, but to dismiss all the emotional and relational aspects as "nonsense" doesn't fit reality, and doesn't do the BS (or WS) any favours.

 

Sex and arousal are part of many affairs - even emotional ones - but speaking from my experience, it's not that simple.

My wife had affairs that lasted years. Yes, sex was involved, but to frame it as nothing more than her trying to "irritate erogenous zones to reach orgasm" ignores the deeper reality of why affairs happen. In her case, with her first AP, it wasn't just about orgasms. It was about feeling seen, wanted, understood, loved, cherished, and valued in ways that she didn't feel from me. Their connection and emotional side of things is what drew her to him, why she fell for him, and wanting sex with him was a continuation of that bond.

Her second AP was the complete opposite of the first. He was abusive, disregarded consent, and gave her none of the emotional intimacy she sought from the first affair. For people with severe childhood trauma, sex can be confused with love, acceptance, and self-worth, and they can be drawn back to situations where they are being used because it matches their early experiences of what intimacy or love was or felt like. She wasn't chasing orgasms, and barely had any with him - she was reenacting trauma and trying to regulate overwhelming feelings of worthlessness.

And I cheated on her as well - both before and after she cheated on me. It was more about sex than her affairs and I jumped right to that, but it still wasn't just a way to get orgasms. Like her, I was seeking things that I wasn't getting from her (sometimes just not in the way that I wanted them). It could look like it was just about sex, but really it was primarily about validation and being desired. It was also about emotional connection at times, when I really started missing that from my wife, and about revenge after she cheated. If all I wanted was to get off, I have a hand for that and it comes with a hell of a lot less complications.

So yeah, affairs typically involve sex and arousal to some degree, but to dismiss all the emotional and relational aspects as "nonsense" doesn't fit reality, and doesn't do the BS (or WS) any favours.

Henry Miller once said, "No matter what a man and a woman talk about, the main topic of their conversation is always sex."

 

shock

 

Ester Perel has said that those who don’t have the emotional capability to understand or the language to ask for intimacy, usually try to obtain it through the action of sex and/or the hormones that come with romance. This can present as a bottomless desire for the physical act of sex, or cheating, or craving constant external validation among other things. With true intimacy comes vulnerability, and it’s not possible for many people to understand or even know what that means, or they believe it so antithesis to their personhood they would never entertain the notion let alone consider doing it.

On the opposite side of the spectrum are those couples who deeply understand intimacy, and still feel engaged and happy in their relationship when one or the other cannot have sex. They understand that intimacy can be shared by more than one physical expression.

This all makes sense to me.

 

Ester Perel has said that those who don’t have the emotional capability to understand or the language to ask for intimacy, usually try to obtain it through the action of sex and/or the hormones that come with romance. This can present as a bottomless desire for the physical act of sex, or cheating, or craving constant external validation among other things. With true intimacy comes vulnerability, and it’s not possible for many people to understand or even know what that means, or they believe it so antithesis to their personhood they would never entertain the notion let alone consider doing it.

On the opposite side of the spectrum are those couples who deeply understand intimacy, and still feel engaged and happy in their relationship when one or the other cannot have sex. They understand that intimacy can be shared by more than one physical expression.

This all makes sense to me.

Good stuff.

Imho most relationships meet somewhere in the middle. Not saying all, but imho the good ones.

 

Allow me to weigh in with is an overly simplistic view on the subject matter. The "essence" of an affair is selfishness. A selfish desire to gratify one's sexual desires with a person they find sexually attractive (and, I suppose, physically/emotionally attractive). Getting that dopamine hit is a powerful motivator.

 

I want to cite a post by one redditor that has caused a lot of unfair condemnation due to alleged "misogyny," as well as my response to one of the critics.
...................................................
"
The Switch
Many women carry a deep, subconscious “gate” or “switch” related to sexual surrender. This is tied to evolutionary psychology. There is an ancient instinct designed to select the strongest, most captivating, and most genetically “fit” man for reproduction, regardless of her desire for reproduction. This “switch” is not logical. It’s a deep, primal override system. When she encounters a man who embodies the traits she deeply desires, her subconscious perceives: “This is the man who could give me the best genetic material and protect me and my potential offspring.” Even if she doesn’t want a child, her body and psyche are working from an ancient biological template.
She might say afterwards:
“I don’t know what came over me.” “I’m not usually like this.” “It just happened; it felt bigger than me.” In truth, her switch was flipped. Her primal, evolutionary “chooser” took over.
In today’s world, women might consciously choose safe, “nice” men for stability. But under the right energetic or emotional conditions, the primal switch can still override , leading to affairs, sudden hookups, or intense “once-in-a-lifetime” liaisons.
When her switch is flipped, the experience can feel mystical or uncontrollable because it involves: Hormonal surges, Ancient limbic brain circuits overriding neocortex logic. Activation of deep psychic and erotic archetypes. That’s why even highly rational, self-controlled women can end up in situations they “never thought they’d allow.”
Men are driven by a different evolutionary imperative: to spread their genes widely. They don’t necessarily have a “switch” that overrides their reasoning the way women do. In fact, men usually have to actively work to seduce a woman…building attraction, making the right moves, and overcoming her resistance…in order to get her into bed.
Because of this, when a man cheats, it is typically a highly conscious decision. He knows he is pursuing it, and he has to intentionally create the opportunity.
In contrast, when a woman cheats, it can also be a fully conscious choice, but it can also happen in a kind of trance-like state triggered by her “switch” being flipped. This switch can override her usual logic and self-control, leading her to act almost as if “something came over her.”
Because Women are outperformed in physical strength, they had to rely on social skills and emotional intelligence, so they evolved to be good at avoiding conflict and subtly manipulating situations. They can also justify their own actions to themselves (like saying cheating isn’t really cheating if they felt ignored). On top of that, women get constant attention from men, which makes them always consider new options, even in a relationship. Because they care deeply about their reputation, they are very good at hiding cheating. When you put all this together..their ability to manipulate, justify, constantly get new offers, and protect their image…it’s very possible that women actually cheat as much or even more than men, but they do it in a much more secretive and careful way."
.............................................................
One relevant comment.
"it refers to how strong emotional and biological processes can override conscious reasoning. This is well supported by neuroscience and evolutionary psychology.
Men don’t usually experience the same kind of override in this way, because they don’t have the same deeply selective reproductive filter.
Because women have to biologically conceive, carry, and nurture an offspring, it’s in their best interest to be highly selective and choose the highest-quality partner possible. So when a man comes along who embodies the traits they deeply desire, their biology has mechanisms that can override normal reasoning and create a powerful drive to reproduce with that person. This isn’t just emotional … it’s a deep evolutionary strategy to maximize the survival and quality of their potential offspring. Nature demands it
So, the ‘trance-like state’ is a poetic way to describe a very real neurochemical and evolutionary process that makes women more susceptible to strong, sudden sexual decisions under the right conditions."
.........................................
MY COMMENT.
This post is not misogynistic or man-hating. It simply draws our anatomy, physiology, and psychology (as a result of anatomy+physiology) to explain the natural non-monogamous/polyamorous nature of human, as the nature of an animal, not an angel, as the great biologists of the 19th century first began to talk about.
In matters of infidelity, it is necessary to clearly separate the nature of human as an animal and the nature of human as a social being, formed under the influence of social relations as a result of the emergence of mind in us which dictates our morality.
Misogyny and the suppression of women's rights are the result of the influence of society, not biology. And here my position, as the position of all honest people, is unequivocal: a woman should be equal to a man in all civil rights, legally and socially.
But!
A woman is not equivalent to a man in terms of anatomy, physiology and psychology (as a function of her anatomical and physiological structure, inherent in us by nature).
Nature has assigned men and women different roles in the basic purpose of any living being - to survive as an individual and as a species, which is certainly related to reproduction. Sex is nature's original trick to force us to reproduce, and the urge to do so is a lure in the form of sexual pleasure, reaching orgasm. All our other sexual activities are just a product of civilization and the possibility of obtaining sexual pleasure by irritating the genitals and erogenous zones in any way - with a member of the other sex, by using different "holes" and by masturbation. All this is already known to higher mammals, including great apes.
The author of the post simply conveys to all laymen the long-known scientific facts that females carrying cubs and males inseminating females have initially different goals: females subconsciously or consciously (let's recall the pursuit of sperm from famous men for artificial insemination!!) choose the male who will make her future children the most competitive in her opinion.
And men are driven by an instinct to disperse their genes. Let's recall that the overwhelming majority of men do not want to raise non-biological children, especially those who appeared as a result of an affair, let's recall that in mixed families men try to give the greatest attention to their biological children (as well as women, but to a lesser extent). Men and women have different instincts, and the instinct of motherhood is not equivalent to the instinct of fatherhood, as you know from many examples. The situation is much worse for animals: the lions in the pride kill not their offspring, as do the males of some other animals.
But, fortunately, human is endowed with mind and morality, which are also the result of evolution, and today's morality (including in relation to women) is far from what it was in the Middle Ages and in biblical times. Now, in most countries, the rights of women and men have become equal (at least on paper), and there are fewer and fewer arranged or forced marriages. Today, a woman can defend her rights in the field of sexual freedom, although very often it takes a lot of effort.
But at the same time, the relative number of identified infidelities is constantly growing!
ecause they are not related to the rights of women or men, but to their personal moral core. In other words, biology drives us to infidelity, but morality restrains these urges and counteracts our selfish desire to obtain sexual pleasure sanctioned by nature violating our vows and promises.
That's what the author of the post really wanted to say, and this, I repeat, in no way contradicts scientific data and real-life examples, as they are described in many textbooks and monographs. The author of the post says more about women only because their sexual behavior is more complicated and responsible, since nature has create them more responsible for the life and well-being of their offspring. And the author of the post does not humiliate women anywhere with a single word, but only explains their psychology, which is not "better" or "worse" than the psychology of men, it's just DIFFERENT.
I completely agree with you that infidelity is the result of an individual's twisted morality, but knowing the differences in the anatomy, physiology, and sexual psychology of men and women helps us better understand subconscious motivations of infidelity, but, of course, in no way justify betrayal, lechery and lying.
..........................................................................................................

 

She might say afterwards:
“I don’t know what came over me.” “I’m not usually like this.” “It just happened; it felt bigger than me.” In truth, her switch was flipped. Her primal, evolutionary “chooser” took over.
In today’s world, women might consciously choose safe, “nice” men for stability. But under the right energetic or emotional conditions, the primal switch can still override , leading to affairs, sudden hookups, or intense “once-in-a-lifetime” liaisons.
When her switch is flipped, the experience can feel mystical or uncontrollable because it involves: Hormonal surges, Ancient limbic brain circuits overriding neocortex logic. Activation of deep psychic and erotic archetypes. That’s why even highly rational, self-controlled women can end up in situations they “never thought they’d allow.”

olk, So you're justifying why a woman will cheat, and she just can't control her emotions. Do you believe that crap? So in other words, you're saying that women are controlled by mystical emotions and that's fine.

I'm not a great example of a person who stayed committed to the marriage, but at least I didn't use that type of garbage. I cheated because I wasn't getting at home what I felt I needed.

 

Selfishness

 

Now that I think hits the nail on the head.

 

olk, So you're justifying why a woman will cheat, and she just can't control her emotions. Do you believe that crap? So in other words, you're saying that women are controlled by mystical emotions and that's fine.

I'm not a great example of a person who stayed committed to the marriage, but at least I didn't use that type of garbage. I cheated because I wasn't getting at home what I felt I needed.

olk, So you're justifying why a woman will cheat, and she just can't control her emotions. Do you believe that crap? So in other words, you're saying that women are controlled by mystical emotions and that's fine.

I'm not a great example of a person who stayed committed to the marriage, but at least I didn't use that type of garbage. I cheated because I wasn't getting at home what I felt I needed.

If you had read my comment carefully, you would have seen that these were not my words, and I made a reservation.