[NewM]

Hearing the tape might also help her husband with his putting into perspective that this guy is not his friend. Ya never know what this guy is going to tell her husband after she fesses up. He's already said that he will tell her husband that she went after him. Who knows what lies he will tell to cover for himself.

Well from her story she did go after him:

I was shocked by how handsome he was.

His buddy showed up for the card and I invited him in. It was the first time that I was alone with him so I made chit chat to try to get to know him. We sat and talked for about 30 minutes. I know it was wrong but all I could think about was all the sexual things that my husband told me about him. It was hard for me to carry on a conversation without asking him if it were all true. Somehow, the conversation turned to sex and next thing I knew, I was giving him oral sex in our living room. We also had sex that day. He later told my husband that he had a flat tire so that's why he was late to work.

So she thought that he was hot and when he was supposed to just pick a keycard she invited him in and started talking about sex and then gave him a BJ,so she was the one who initiated it and OM didn't even have to be a big player to pick up on her signs to know whats going on.

Id say OM probably wasn't even thinking about it when he was coming for a keycard,he was there just to pick it up,and she started it all.

 

[theroad]

Ok I have accepted the fact that everyone that has responded has suggested that I tell my husband at some point. When I came here, I was prepared to tell him if only to get his friend away from me. I understand that it will be his choice as to whether or not to stay together.

My issue now is why should I tell? I do love him but I also made a mistake. If I can get his friend away from me and I never do this again, why should my husband know. I love him and my children dearly. It is to the point where I don't want them to be away from me. I know what this will do to my husband. Yes I made a very stupid mistake on more than one occasion. Yes I was infactuated with him and yes I was feeling lonely. The way I see it, I would still try to be with this guy if I didn't love my husband. The fact that I am trying to fix this proves that I love him.

Now I won't say that my husband isn't a good man. He works hard to provide for us and he works so I don't have to. I have been feeling that he has gotten complacent in our relationship. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not very good at keeping secrets. If this had happened a few years ago, my husband would have noticed my mood change and would have been able to pick up that something was wrong. The fact that he seems to be oblivious to this shows how disconnected we are and how much he has been focused on other things besides me.

Also when I posted last night, my greatest fear was thinking about his friend telling him and my husband facing me to see if it was true. Now that I have read a few scenarios and thought about things, I'm not too sure that I believe he would tell. Yes he is divorced but he still has to work and keep up a social life. Even if he does tell my husband, he has something to lose as well as me. What I'm trying to ask is, why is it not a good idea to just try to block him out of my life and to just try to move on with my family? Just because I haven't told my husband doesn't mean that I don't love him. I have just been trying to protect his feelings.

Your BH has to be told.

The chances for recovery will be the best if your BH hers about the affair from you first.

 

[EleGirl]

Well from her story she did go after him:

So she thought that he was hot and when he was supposed to just pick a keycard she invited him in and started talking about sex and then gave him a BJ,so she was the one who initiated it and OM didn't even have to be a big player to pick up on her signs to know whats going on.

Id say OM probably wasn't even thinking about it when he was coming for a keycard,he was there just to pick it up,and she started it all.

If she had made phone calls to him, gone to his place, all on many occassions and he finally gave in, then I would agree taht she 'went after him'.

What happened seems to have been a mutual thing that went from him entering the house to sex in a very short time.

I do not agree that she was the agressor. It was mutual from her description.

 

[C-man]

Tell your husband the truth.

Or, tell him his friend came over you tripped, and as you were falling, your mouth ended up around his penis.

OR, you could simply hide the truth and live a lie for the next few years until the lie comes out. They always do, eventually. But you will get a few more years of family/marital life out of it so long as you don't trip with your mouth ending up around another man's penis again.

Whatever you do, make sure you stress to yourself how it was not your fault and you didn't mean for it to happen.

 

[Plan 9 from OS]

Most likely her husband already has suspicions that her and the OM are having an affair. After she blew him the very first time when picking up his badge, her husband asked right away "what took you so long?". Knowing the OM the way he does, he probably felt intense regret that he sent him to his house. He's not dumb and he's probably putting the facts together as I type this out.

 

[NewM]

If she had made phone calls to him, gone to his place, all on many occassions and he finally gave in, then I would agree taht she 'went after him'.

What happened seems to have been a mutual thing that went from him entering the house to sex in a very short time.

I do not agree that she was the agressor. It was mutual from her description.

What you explained would be her her being the aggressor to higher extent.

Most males will accept invitation to females house and then notice when she is attracted by body language and when she starts talking about sex every guy will know what is she up to.She was the aggressor here if you ask me and OM wouldn't be laying to say that it was her who made most of the advances.

Now all the other meetings after the first time were mutual(before blackmailing started).

 

[Shaggy]

Your husband is essentially a dead man walking at this point. The guy he's sharing his thoughts with is sleeping with his wife, and his wife is planning on letting him continue to talk to this "friend" completely in the dark for months more.

PLEASE Tell him TODAY.

Do not let him waste any more time talking to the very you are cheating with.

You husband is going to be devestated, but every minute past NOW that you don't tell him is adding to your betrayal of him. Everything you let him be around the guy, while the guy is laughing at him is cruel beyond belief.

This piece of crap OM needs someone to take him down and bring him a lot of personal suffering an pain for what he's done to his so call friend. What a piece of filth.

As for your part of the story - YOUR husband is going to realize that not only did you choose to betray him with this *******, but you choose to let the ******* laugh at him right in front of him for month upon month.

That you've had this POSOM in your bed.

I'm guessing you've even turned your husband down for sex because you wanted to save yourself and be clean for the OM.

Have you also come home with the OM's filth on you and then had sex with your husband?

If you think these are nasty questions - get used to them because they are the questions your husband is going to ask you.

And they are questions he deserves to have the truth told about.

Do not hide anything at this point - you've betrayed your husband twice now by 1) Cheating 2) Letting the OM humiliate him

Do not add third betrayal by not telling your husband the truth.

I must say I don't know if I'm rooting for your marriage to survive. The first time you met the OM , he had you giving him oral sex after 30 min. It ONLY took him 30 min to get you to choose to dump you husband and to have sex with him in your husbands house. You don't sound like a very good catch if a complete stranger can get you to betray your marriage and children after only 30 minutes.

 

[Numbersixxx]

Ok I have accepted the fact that everyone that has responded has suggested that I tell my husband at some point. When I came here, I was prepared to tell him if only to get his friend away from me. I understand that it will be his choice as to whether or not to stay together.

My issue now is why should I tell? I do love him but I also made a mistake. If I can get his friend away from me and I never do this again, why should my husband know. I love him and my children dearly. It is to the point where I don't want them to be away from me. I know what this will do to my husband. Yes I made a very stupid mistake on more than one occasion. Yes I was infactuated with him and yes I was feeling lonely. The way I see it, I would still try to be with this guy if I didn't love my husband. The fact that I am trying to fix this proves that I love him.

Now I won't say that my husband isn't a good man. He works hard to provide for us and he works so I don't have to. I have been feeling that he has gotten complacent in our relationship. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not very good at keeping secrets. If this had happened a few years ago, my husband would have noticed my mood change and would have been able to pick up that something was wrong. The fact that he seems to be oblivious to this shows how disconnected we are and how much he has been focused on other things besides me.

Also when I posted last night, my greatest fear was thinking about his friend telling him and my husband facing me to see if it was true. Now that I have read a few scenarios and thought about things, I'm not too sure that I believe he would tell. Yes he is divorced but he still has to work and keep up a social life. Even if he does tell my husband, he has something to lose as well as me. What I'm trying to ask is, why is it not a good idea to just try to block him out of my life and to just try to move on with my family? Just because I haven't told my husband doesn't mean that I don't love him. I have just been trying to protect his feelings.

What you should do is to continue the affair. If/when you get pregnant with the OM you can still pretend it is your husband’s child.

After some years when you get totally bored with your husband, you can file for divorce and take 60% of his wealth and also make him pay child support for OM’s kid and alimony for you.

You can also file for some bogus domestic violence claim and keep him from seeing his children. So, you will be financially independent and can focus your time on having fun with all the Daniel Craig look-alikes that you want.

 

[TRy]

My issue now is why should I tell? I do love him but I also made a mistake. If I can get his friend away from me and I never do this again, why should my husband know.

Because if you tell him, you are giving him a reason to trust what you are saying going forward. Because everyday that your husband thinks that the other man is his friend is another day that both you and the other man have played him the fool. Because the other man is an evil person and both you and your husband needs him out of your lives. Because if your husband finds out on his own later, it will be so much more hurtful and the betrays so much more complete. If you really love your husband, please tell him.

 

[Shaggy]

My world would be a little brighter tomorrow if this turns out to be from troll.

I find it horrible to think that it took only 30 min for the OM to have you on your knees giving him oral. All the years your husband put into you and your boys, and it took this jerk 30 min to convince you to throw it all away to satisfy his need to get off.

I don't want to live in a world were someone could actually be that horrible to their children and husband.

My advice: If you are a troll, please come out an admit it.

If you're not a troll. Then tell your husband TODAY. And go check yourself into a mental hospital. You need intense and immediate help beyond just telling your husband that you are cheating with the human filth her call a friend. You are broken inside morally. There is no way someone who isn't deeply broken could have gone from faithful to cheater in 30 min in their own home with a stranger.

 

[EleGirl]

What you explained would be her her being the aggressor to higher extent.

Most males will accept invitation to females house and then notice when she is attracted by body language and when she starts talking about sex every guy will know what is she up to.She was the aggressor here if you ask me and OM wouldn't be laying to say that it was her who made most of the advances.

Now all the other meetings after the first time were mutual(before blackmailing started).

So now if a woman shows interest in a man who is interested, she's the agressor? Poor guy is a victim.. i feel so bad for him. :scratchhead:

 

[Ovid]

You can end the "blackmail" any time the same way you can end the affair. Tell your husband.

This "blackmail" is a lousey excuse and does not make you a victem. All of your excuses are just your way out of taking responsibility for your actions and maintaining your affair.

Just remember everytime you pass on telling your H and have sex with OM you are proving that you prefer effing the OM to the love you claim to have for your husband and children.

 

[Kallan Pavithran]

Do not hide anything at this point - you've betrayed your husband twice now by 1) Cheating 2) Letting the OM humiliate him

Do not add third betrayal by not telling your husband the truth.

I must say I don't know if I'm rooting for your marriage to survive. The first time you met the OM , he had you giving him oral sex after 30 min. It ONLY took him 30 min to get you to choose to dump you husband and to have sex with him in your husbands house. You don't sound like a very good catch if a complete stranger can get you to betray your marriage and children after only 30 minutes.[/QUOTE]

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

[the guy]

Man what is this world coming to when a guy can get away with this?
I remember when if you slept with a married women you better watch your back cuz you were dead if the husband found out.

Now a days guys sleep with married with out any fear!


If your husband owns a gun this guy has alot of ball to blackmail you. WHO DO YOU THINK WILL GET SHOT YOU OR OM?

If it was me I would tell OM he should be concerned about his safety. You should have told him that as soon as he black mailed you. but I doubt at the time it really didn't matter.

Granted the VAR is the best way to go, but it just pisses me off that thats were we have come...were a OM has nothing to worry about. 40 years ago a husband could get a way with kicking the crap out of OM, and instead of getting a pat on the back by the cops, the husband goes to jail.

Why is it its always the good friend that tries to blackmail the chick but strange care a less. At least that was Mrs. the-guys experience....and by the way I am a gun collect so Mrs. the-guy laughted her @ss of when the POS "friend" of mine tried pulling that crap.

 

[SomedayDig]

Man what is this world coming to when a guy can get away with this?
I remember when if you slept with a married women you better watch your back cuz you were dead if the husband found out.

Now a days guys sleep with married with out any fear!

Yep. Til they meet the "wrong" husband. I still smile knowing that I took down the xOM's entire life. Thanks cheaterville!!

A guy who was once a big attorney is now in sales. For a green energy company.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

[the guy]

In short, the OM has just as much to loose if and when this affair comes out, so tell OM to phuck off!!!!!! hell dare him to tell your H.

I know this doesn't help the case in telling H but he will find out sooner or later ....we all do!


signed,
the guy with the cheating wife

 

[the guy]

Yep. Til they meet the "wrong" husband. I still smile knowing that I took down the xOM's entire life. Thanks cheaterville!!

A guy who was once a big attorney is now in sales. For a green energy company.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

I hear you, the "friend" I mention sometimes, was an employee, I fired him and exposed the affair, he is done with in my industry.

 

[remorseful strayer]

Ok I have accepted the fact that everyone that has responded has suggested that I tell my husband at some point. When I came here, I was prepared to tell him if only to get his friend away from me. I understand that it will be his choice as to whether or not to stay together.

My issue now is why should I tell? I do love him but I also made a mistake. If I can get his friend away from me and I never do this again, why should my husband know. I love him and my children dearly. It is to the point where I don't want them to be away from me. I know what this will do to my husband. Yes I made a very stupid mistake on more than one occasion. Yes I was infactuated with him and yes I was feeling lonely. The way I see it, I would still try to be with this guy if I didn't love my husband. The fact that I am trying to fix this proves that I love him.

Now I won't say that my husband isn't a good man. He works hard to provide for us and he works so I don't have to. I have been feeling that he has gotten complacent in our relationship. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not very good at keeping secrets. If this had happened a few years ago, my husband would have noticed my mood change and would have been able to pick up that something was wrong. The fact that he seems to be oblivious to this shows how disconnected we are and how much he has been focused on other things besides me.

Also when I posted last night, my greatest fear was thinking about his friend telling him and my husband facing me to see if it was true. Now that I have read a few scenarios and thought about things, I'm not too sure that I believe he would tell. Yes he is divorced but he still has to work and keep up a social life. Even if he does tell my husband, he has something to lose as well as me. What I'm trying to ask is, why is it not a good idea to just try to block him out of my life and to just try to move on with my family? Just because I haven't told my husband doesn't mean that I don't love him. I have just been trying to protect his feelings.

If you have all the answers and you know your chosen course of action why are you asking for advice?

I cheated. My wife found out. Disloyal spouse always eventually get caught. Maybe not today but someday. Don't fool yourself into thinking you won't get caught. A lot of people likely already know. Your affair partner likely bragged. Someone with a conscience will tell.

If it comes from you, your spouse will take it better. I strayed twice and that is what made my spouse leave.

Also, get counseling to find out why you strayed. You won't stop until you do.

The lying and deceitful bent needs to stop NOW.

ALSO, LIKE BANDIT, I AM OUTA' HERE TOO. Your are taking us all in circles and I have no further advice for you.

 

[NewM]

So now if a woman shows interest in a man who is interested, she's the agressor? Poor guy is a victim.. i feel so bad for him. :scratchhead:

She made most of the advances,he just picked on it and decided he is going to have sex with her.
He was just coming for a keycard,she didn't have to invite him in or start talking about sex(it was her who started sex talk it didn't come randomly).

Him saying that she seduced him is over the top but she was the more aggressive one in their first meeting and he was just playing along.
She just needs to confess to her husband without this evidence BS,all she wants to do with it is to shut him up so husband never finds out.

 

[remorseful strayer]

She made most of the advances,he just picked on it and decided he is going to have sex with her.
He was just coming for a keycard,she didn't have to invite him in or start talking about sex(it was her who started sex talk it didn't come randomly).

Him saying that she seduced him is over the top but she was the more aggressive one in their first meeting and he was just playing along.
She just needs to confess to her husband without this evidence BS,all she wants to do with it is to shut him up so husband never finds out.

I agree with this. The other women was the aggressor, she talked about sex, about her other affairs, about how she like various forms of raunchy sex and I took the bait. I don't consider myself a victim, just an idiot who took the bait.

If this woman wasn't always talking dirty, I likely would have never had the affair with her. I am a pig, but she was too, and she definitely made the first moves.