[married tech]

See that is what is really bothering me about my husband's attitude. He acts like he does above and beyond what any other man in america does....and he does this by just working!

I don't get it! Then when I point out that PLENTY of men do what he does(work with a long commute) he disagrees. He acts like he is the only man out there that works his ass off!

He is not fat, or overweight, he is lazy. He will occasionally drag his butt off the couch to run. but that is sporadic at best!

Wow! if you had said you were a stay at home mom with 5 kids I would have guessed your husband was the manager last my last job!

At work his excuse for being totally useless all the time was because he had a wife who does not work and five kids.
Yet I have suspicions that when he was at home his excuse for being a lazy ass was that he worked so hard at his job that he shouldn't have to do anything at home.

 

[AliceA]

My DH used to say that too. It's as if the reality of life is escaping them. It was all a bit much for me for a while and I completely dropped the ball. Things started getting really bad, house filthy, laundry never done, dinner prepared in a last minute panic, bills paid late, cars breaking down etc. I couldn't bring up the energy to care at that point.

He complained bitterly, but my complete apathy (not by choice, I've no real idea what was happening to me then) forced the situation.

Now, he's not as bad. We wrote out a roster, which we're both struggling with a bit to be honest, 'cause neither of us are particularly proactive in regards to cleaning, but at least we're BOTH trying.

 

[turnera]

I know this post was not mine, however I want to thank you all for your views. I did call a contractor as mentioned before. The moment I set a date, my husband bought the material and started the work. After a short arguement (because at this point, I really wanted the contractor to do it), but he ignored me and worked dilgently. I called the contractor and explained the situation, which he understood and was very gracious about it. I asked him not to discard me as a customer yet. My husband had to go away for a job for a week. I'm going to give him a couple more weeks to finish it. If he doesn't, I'm calling the contractor to finish it! Then I will give him a list of other things this house desperately needs.

Perfect.

My therapist actually GAVE me the number for a contractor, lol.

 

[turnera]

breeze, I've heard it recommended to get a poster board and write out every single thing that needs to get done, and how often (so you know ahead of time what you're signing up for). Then, each of you takes turns picking the tasks that you DISlike the LEAST. On down the list, until all chores are accounted for. It's the most fair way to assign them and it lets you both pick the things that you don't hate, as least not as much. That way, you're more likely to actually DO them.

For instance, I had to do dishes as a kid, so I absolutely HATE doing dishes, so someone else usually does them. I'll sweep all day, just don't ask me to do dishes.

 

[married tech]

For instance, I had to do dishes as a kid, so I absolutely HATE doing dishes, so someone else usually does them. I'll sweep all day, just don't ask me to do dishes.

Growing up my dad was very OCD about keeping things clean and organized literally to the point it drove the family apart.

I hate clean and organized now.

 

[crabinmd]

hey, so now 6 years later ... what boat are you in with this husband? (or ex husband?) I've found this thread via a google search due to my life mirroring yours in 2011. update appreciated