Why is this question focused just on females? What about male hypergamy or do you feel that does not exist?

 

Male hypergamy exists but only in very rare examples. If you see a beautiful woman with an average man, it means he is rich or has a high paying job or she is VERY insecure about herself.

 

This has to be a joke. I always see “higher value” women with lower value men.

Speaking for myself, I just want someone who makes me happy. I’d rather be with a “lower value” guy that treats me well and makes me happy then a “higher value” man that doesn’t.

Who cares if your with a smoking hot rich girl/guy if he has a terrible personality and doesn’t make you happy.
When people are unhappy, they look for something different. Man and women.

 

This has to be a joke. I always see “higher value” women with lower value men.

Speaking for myself, I just want someone who makes me happy. I’d rather be with a “lower value” guy that treats me well and makes me happy then a “higher value” man that doesn’t.

Who cares if your with a smoking hot rich girl/guy if he has a terrible personality and doesn’t make you happy.
When people are unhappy, they look for something different. Man and women.

This is my girlfriend exactly. The one quality she looks for is someone who is respectful. Doesn't matter that she's incredibly and objectively attractive, what she wants is someone who values her for her.

 

You were the one that divorced your wife and mother of your children in hopes to trade up because she was too fat.

Of all people you could understand why people trade up.

 

You were the one that divorced your wife and mother of your children in hopes to trade up because she was too fat.

Of all people you could understand why people trade up.

Actually I did not trade up...I actually traded down. My second wife is blind and average looking, but at least she is thin.

 

I really hate this labelling of people that puts them into boxes of being 'higher' or 'lower'. I mean who decides who is what anyway? What is it based on? Looks? Money? Education? Personality? Character? As for the youtube video, if you want to remain a bachelor go ahead you are free to do so, it was probably made by yet another woman hating man.Most men have no interest in being a bachelor.
I suspect that most women just want a decent guy who loves them and respects them and treats them well and who will be faithful.

 

I really hate this labeling of people that puts them into boxes of being 'higher' or 'lower'. I mean who decides who is what anyway? What is it based on? Looks? Money? Education? Personality? Character? As for the youtube video, if you want to remain a bachelor go ahead you are free to do so, it was probably made by yet another woman hating man.Most men have no interest in being a bachelor.
I suspect that most women just want a decent guy who loves them and respects them and treats them well and who will be faithful.

You are probably right but the odds are against it. I seem to read a lot of posts here where guys wives left them for the boss or a co-worker who has more to offer or is better looking. I learned to beat the system, I quit chasing the good looking females and have found that women who are average are better choices.

 

The ladies are not solely to blame for this sort of thing. If more men would stop simping for every single female in a pair of leggings it might help. Men should have higher expectations from ladies but they should also have higher expectations from themselves.

 

I think in the 1950s and 60s there was more of women marrying men in higher income brackets, not less. Female nurses would marry male doctors, female receptionists would marry male businessmen, etc.

Now female doctors marry male doctors, female engineers marry male engineers, etc.

 

Now female doctors marry male doctors, female engineers marry male engineers, etc.

Or female doctors marry male engineers, as is the case with one of my nephews.

 

Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up", occasionally referred to as "higher-gamy") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying a spouse of higher caste or social status than themselves.

A woman will almost always "go up" when looking for a mate. She may be a "5" but she will ignore the "5" males and seek the highest level male she can find. This makes it hard for the average male (a "5") to find a woman who won't dump him when a "6" or higher comes along. There is a Youtube videos called "Better Bachelor" that discusses the whole thing and basically suggests men are better off just staying single and staying away from females altogether.

Has anyone had any experience with this. I have...

The scale is different for women and men. There are far more female 10s than males there are more men who are 1s than women. Maybe the better way to put it is for women the scale goes from 2-11 while guys are 1-10. So basically you have to look at it as a man who is a 5 is equal to a woman who is a 3. The other tricky thing is a woman I think is a 8 you might think is a 6 or a 10. I might see a couple and think they're well matched but my wife might think the woman is much more attractive than the guy. People act like there is some standard we all use when in reality we are all attracted to something different. But also having a great personality is probably as important to a degree and personality can easily raise or lower your value a few spots.

I'm not sure anything I just wrote makes any sense.

 

The scale is different for women and men. There are far more female 10s than males there are more men who are 1s than women. Maybe the better way to put it is for women the scale goes from 2-11 while guys are 1-10. So basically you have to look at it as a man who is a 5 is equal to a woman who is a 3. The other tricky thing is a woman I think is a 8 you might think is a 6 or a 10. I might see a couple and think they're well matched but my wife might think the woman is much more attractive than the guy. People act like there is some standard we all use when in reality we are all attracted to something different. But also having a great personality is probably as important to a degree and personality can easily raise or lower your value a few spots.

I'm not sure anything I just wrote makes any sense.

No it makes sense...

 

This is not gender specific. Some people trade up because they are crappy people, because they are selfish people.
But also, some people like to think a whole gender is toxic and that they trade up because it feels better than actually realizing they aren’t good partners. That their partner chose not to be with them, not for any other reason than you didn’t treat them well, or you took them for granted.

 

Remember OLD statistics. 80% of females swipe on the top 20% of men. That tells you all you need to know about hypergamy. It’s real. Fatty 5’s think they can get with 8’s. It’s because the beta 5’s and 6’s give them the attention that makes fatty 5 think she’s actually an 8.

 

Let’s be real... everyone thinks they are better then they are. And when they do OLD, we are also much more judgemental then we would be in real life.

Women from the beginning of time have always been much more picky. Even if that fatty 5 only wants an 8, that’s her prerogative. It’s like all these men are mad that they are settling, then don’t settle.

My experience with OLD is probably the same as everyone else’s. A few good people, and a lot of people way out of your league thinking they have a chance. Does that offend me? Not really, I think some people have a lot of confidence and are delusional.

 

I have to agree that I see way more women with lower value men than the other way around. I believe it's because they want to settle down and have kids worse than men do. And of course in the past it has always been also for economic reasons.

I can't fathom why some of my female friends married who they did. I know one it was just because she can't stand to be alone and was ready to have children. But she chose him badly and I know it was also because of her childhood abandonment issues with her own father.

 

It can also be the opposite. I had a cousin (RIP) who was her parents' favorite. She was beautiful -- tall, slim, high cheek bones. In her 20s, she lived a charmed life --Japanese sports car, travel to Europe in the 70s when few Americans ever left the US (foreigners like to remind me what a low percentage of passport holders the US has.)

But she was *****y. A cousin who was about her age would go clubbing together and well, there you go. By the 80s when she was in her 30s, she started getting worried and ended up with someone that mother liked to remind us, her mother (our aunt) was not very fond of, or maybe stronger than that. I remember we were around the family table talking wedding rings and bands. I remember she said something to the effect of she bought the cheapest band she could and he was alright. It was at that moment that I thought she was not in love.

When she was diagnosed with cancer and died before the end of the decade, she got a divorce from her husband. I thought is was due to the fact that he was a dry drunk and the stress from his wife's health was too much to bear. it was only later that my mother told me that as a criminal lawyer, he was also supplying his clients.

Ironically, my aunt would chide --out of earshot -- a cousin on the other side of their family as funny looking and acting. Dressed frumpy. Well she hit the jackpot marrying a guy she met in college whose family owned business that was successful then and now, 35 years later.

that's one thing I don't like about my family. the assumption that dressing will get you everything.

 

Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up", occasionally referred to as "higher-gamy") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying a spouse of higher caste or social status than themselves.

A woman will almost always "go up" when looking for a mate. She may be a "5" but she will ignore the "5" males and seek the highest level male she can find. This makes it hard for the average male (a "5") to find a woman who won't dump him when a "6" or higher comes along. There is a Youtube videos called "Better Bachelor" that discusses the whole thing and basically suggests men are better off just staying single and staying away from females altogether.

Has anyone had any experience with this. I have...

If you want a better idea about how actual hypergamy works, see if you can find videos from Jordan Peterson. Hypergamy is an observable behavior but not like you posted about.

Women try and marry a man that the perceive to at least be equal to themselves in status and above them.

That doesn't mean women dump their husbands when a better offer comes along. That is just crappy behavior observed in both men and women.

 

If you want a better idea about how actual hypergamy works, see if you can find videos from Jordan Peterson. Hypergamy is an observable behavior but not like you posted about.

Women try and marry a man that the perceive to at least be equal to themselves in status and above them.

That doesn't mean women dump their husbands when a better offer comes along. That is just crappy behavior observed in both men and women.

Thats interesting.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting someone to be an equal. And from all the red pill stuff I read, men want to be the “superior” one. They want to be the one making more money, they want to be the more attractive one.

I’ve never met a man that cared if I made less then them. I have met men that cared if
their women makes more then them though.

 

I don't know how to post a dang gif. My kids would be ashamed.

 

Spare me, OP.

Men go for the hottest woman they can find. Men also date and marry and stay married to batshit crazy, just because she's hot.

I betcha it's more men than women who pick a partner based on superficial aspects.

 

There is nothing more bitter than men that love talking about hypergamy.

 

It’s funny how the only men on here that fail to see this are the married ones. What does that tell you? Happy wife happy life? Yeah, no thanks. I’ll pass.

 

I think there are some women who do this, but you're generalizing. There are also some men who do this, just in different departments. But I think as a whole most people want a functional partner who they are attracted to. Dumping your spouse and running off with another man is a whole slew of issues, I don't think most women are leaving their marriages every time a 7 walks by and they're a 5.

 

Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up", occasionally referred to as "higher-gamy") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying a spouse of higher caste or social status than themselves.

A woman will almost always "go up" when looking for a mate. She may be a "5" but she will ignore the "5" males and seek the highest level male she can find. This makes it hard for the average male (a "5") to find a woman who won't dump him when a "6" or higher comes along. There is a Youtube videos called "Better Bachelor" that discusses the whole thing and basically suggests men are better off just staying single and staying away from females altogether.

Has anyone had any experience with this. I have...

Make yourself a 10. Nuff said.

 

I think my head just exploded...

 

Ah, it's almost spring and there's a fresh crop of

in the back 40

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

 

This whole line of thinking is the equivalent of the relationship participation trophy. This is life everyone is looking for the best everything they can get, that includes mates. If your spouse dumps you for someone they think is better, YOU are the one better off because you can't have a good relationship without loyalty. WTF - I grow so tired of these types of threads by men, quit whining and compete.

 

This whole line of thinking is the equivalent of the relationship participation trophy. This is life everyone is looking for the best everything they can get, that includes mates. If your spouse dumps you for someone they thing is better YOU are the one better off because you can't have a good relationship without loyalty. WTF - I grow so tired of these types of threads by men, quit whining and compete.

I am also tired of these 'poor men' threads here right now. They clearly have issues with a woman who has hurt them and judge all women the same. Obviously its all women's fault that they can't find someone or that marriages are bad. Poor men who are apparently 'forced' into marriage and taken advantage of throughout their lives. Its all nonsense.

 

Hm. That is interesting. Would tend to think men put more of a premium on beauty than women do for men, and sometimes good character or sweet disposition. Women tend to care about stability (not necessarily income, but financial stability, and also lack of criminal record etc) then looks and character but that is a gross exaggeration. When I have been out with men who say they want a woman who is highly educated, most often I am not to their taste, but that could just be a coincidence. Have thought about this a lot and think it may be down to the individuals but it is also what society teaches us is valuable in both sexes. Men who are assertive but kind, confident but not arrogant, tend to be the type I am attracted to. And to a certain extent, I'm sure that looks do matter, because you have to be attracted to the person. For example, I have a weakness for tall men, and brown eyes, but have had long term relationships with people over the years who don't meet that description. People do trade up all the time, if you'd care to put it like that. But I have also met goodlooking men who seem to be fine going out with me, but who become more unattractive by the second if they are rude to a server, flaky or lie about things. Those are people I don't need in my life. When you count in character, I'm sure many people can think of men who are "on paper 10" - attractive, financially self sufficient and stable, confident etc. - but who are selfish, hate women, hate various groups of people, or who for other reasons are wildly unattractive upon closer inspection - the sort of character Monet if you will (fans of Clueless anyone?).

The same goes for women, I'm sure. So I don't really buy into the weird assigning people numbers thing, because in the end, people are a lot more complicated. You might go out with someone you find sort of average looks-wise, who you end up being really attracted to - they might be really caring, or really skilled at something, or a very attentive lover. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's experienced that?

 

The women can argue all they want, but with the current state of relationships in the West, if my current marriage should fail, it already came close once because she tried a branch swing that failed and if it went physical, it would have been over, I'm out of the dating pool for good.

The entitlement and general attitude of modern Western women simply leaves me with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

 

Except that it doesn't even apply to most women. Women like men are all very different, thats a surprise.

 

I think it is such an affront to people like the OP, because there is a thing that all people do. It sort of goes like this:

If you are raised with luxury, access to food, and never a question when you can eat. To go without a meal can seem like torture. While to a person who was raised with food insecurity, going without a meal is not a big deal. The event is the same, but the degree to which it is felt is much different.

Men, being the top dogs throughout all of human history (with a few exceptions), find the ability for them to be treated as they have treated others, as a horrible offense. Women, who have been traded like property, disposed of when better is available, and generally not valued the same, have already accepted this treatment. For the men that experience it, it is a new thing, and it is traumatizing.

This is not to belittle the actual experience of anyone, as they are all things that hurt, that scar, and that cause issues.

This is why the white male in America is especially sensitive to the encroachment on their dominance.

 

Sorry to say, but I have heard enough of everything being framed as white male privilege. If it were not for the efforts of white males, no-one in the West would have known the privilege of not going without a meal as stated in this analogy and they deserve respect, not beratement and relegation to second class status for the effort.

One thing is sure though. Strong men make for good times, good times make for weak men, weak men make for bad times and bad times make for strong men. We are in for some bad times, but the pendulum will not be halted.

 

Based just on a picture of me from a ranking site back in the day I ranked 7.2.

I am in better shape now and also have a better profile (job, income, etc...) At the height of my being in shape a woman I would rate at 9 based just on looks hit on me at the gym. She knew my education level and general income level (via my car). Her education was the same (very similar) but her income level even higher than mine. It literally floored me. I had to decline as I was and still am married.

Goes to show that the hypergamy cues can take raw material at the 7 level and punch out of that weight class.

 

Frankly I think it's just a difference in values depending on gender and stage in life.

Younger or immature women want the stereotype perfect guy, as described in that Instagram post
More mature women want stability, protection
All women are attracted to men with a lot of money - that falls into the innate desire to be taken care of, protected, stability, etc. Some can see past the less attractive physical specimens to get this. Thus you see some trolls with hot women.

Men are way simpler. We are visual creatures. This is because we want to mate with healthy females that produce healthy spawn. White teeth and clear eyes, big breasts, etc. It's all biological for us. To the point a man might even be willing to marry a gorgeous woman without other good qualities.

It's not hard.

As for hypergamy - what are we rating? Looks, sex rank, prestige, bank accounts? If just looks, then MEN are way more into hypergamy than women. I rarely see a man with an uglier woman than he is. But if we are looking at bank accounts or social status, then yes, women surely sometimes try to climb that ladder so to speak.

So what? We've been seeing this for decades.

 

You view potential mates with a different set of standards based on your age/maturity. In your 20's you are still looking to please the world and yourself over the short term. You choose a partner accordingly. I've been married over 30 years and what I value now has greatly changed based on half a lifetime of experience:

1) Character (honesty/integrity)
2) Shared Values
3) Ability to be vulnerable in a relationship
<fail on any point 1-3, and our relationship will not continue>
4) Intellect/Worldview
5) Sex Appeal

What a 10 looks like now is very different from a 10 when I was 30 years younger.