[Fightingtilltheend]

Are you married? Love is a choice and anyone that has been married for years and years will tell you that it is a conscious decision to love your spouse. So to answer your question....the difference is anything outside of your marriage that you think is better greener and willing to throw away your vows for someone else...that is the fog.....because people dont think clearly through that time. The stupid "In love" feeling that people speak off....those things do not last....thats a feeling of infatuation that gets us all...I hope that makes sense.

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

Call it what you want....it comes down to Selfishness and not caring about consequences or anyone else...We all one time or another maybe entertained the the idea of being with someone else other than our spouse in our marriage.....but its what you do that makes the difference in the world. If we all did what we thought was right and what we think feels good without care then this world would be a very different place...granted alot of people do decide to do that...my wife is that example.

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

Take a look at your hot girlfriend. Now, imagine she's horribly disfigured, 400 lbs heavier, crazy as an out-house rat, unable to do a thing for herself and unable to ever do anything for you. Her condition will never improve. Would you still marry her, forsaking all others, yada, yada? If you would, that's love. I believe lust is an emotion that we either have or we don't. We can't really control that. "Love" is a deliberate choice. We think babies are cute but parents who adopt a child choose to love. I like dogs, but the ones I make my own, I choose to love. Because it's my choice, my love doesn't stop if my kids piss me off. It doesn't stop if my dog craps on the floor. It doesn't stop if some hottie at work tries to attract my attention.

Awesome point....Love is a choice....dont follow your heart...your heart can be deceived...you must lead your heart (from fireproof the movie)

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

The heart can overrule the head as well as the head overrule the heart. Either way it’s a sorry, conflicting, compromising and sacrificial type of relationship.


The very best relationships are when both the head and heart are saying yes. Personally I wouldn’t settle for anything less because as far as I’m concerned I’d be deceiving and betraying not just myself but my partner as well.

But I think the point being made here. Is this.....do not act on emotion...think before you act. Love is a conscious action and decision you must make daily. The whole head and heart I agree to some degree....but not really. Sometimes there are stuff that my heart and mind want to do...but I know its not for the better good. If you make a vow for better or for worse you stick by them (Except of course situations beyond your control). But ultimately...Love is a choice you have to make it.

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

Whether your heart and your mind fight with each other...at the end of the day you still have to make a decision. Feelings are just that feelings. Anyone married for a long time can tell you that you wont always have butterflies...you wont always want to be around your spouse...but its that daily choice you make that you will love them...through thick and thin...fat or thin....rich or poor....they hurt you or make you smile. Because chances are you will do the same to them and prayerfully they make the same decision.

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

I used to be like you. It lasted me well (I think) in my very long marriage, I was with my wife for over 40 years.

My marriage came to an end when I absolutely listened to the very strong messages my emotions were sending me instead of trying to understand them with logic and reasoning. But before I would listen they had to get my attention by bringing me to my knees.

There’s a whole host of intelligence in our emotions which most can’t even conceive of and many will deny. We just need to listen to them and understand what it is they’re trying to communicate to us. We are differentiated from robots by our emotions.

It’s our emotions, how we feel about things that make us human and you do yourself a disservice by discounting them in the way you do.

The point that I am making is ultimately this....emotions should not always be the base of all our decisions. You are right about us being different from robots...but regardless there is still right and wrong and emotions come and go. Ultimately the decision on why some spouses leave their families just to be with some stranger they find attractive is an emotion that they believe is from their hearts and follow it...then days, months, years later they wake up and regret it. Never did I say that I am discounting emotions in any way...as sometimes happiness etc stems from it...we all have them. All im saying is sometimes emotions are misleading.

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

There are times when the decisions we make with our logic and reasoning can be massively wrong and transient when all the time it was in our emotions where our truth and longevity lay.

Cheating on your spouse is wrong...emotions or logic!

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

Most cheating spouses...rely on emotions not logic.

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

I guess it goes back to this...Logic, emotion, Love, choices etc....We live in a world where the motto is "If it feels good do it" When you marry you make a Vow...for better or worse...not when you "feel" the love or not...as stated that so called feeling comes and goes. But making a choice to love and commit is just that..Love is a verb...its backed by action. "feelings" are everywhere as they are determined by other factors...as in when you choose to love nothing can change that. As for me...I like yes and no questions...because sometimes there is such a thing as a yes and no and a right and wrong.

 

[Fightingtilltheend]

I wonder if the OP is even still reading this thread? If so.... OP.... what are you feeling about your situation now?
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hahahha probably not....but good discussions though.