[S4E]

Being "in love" and "the fog" are one and the same--both are that stage of attraction and intimacy that has no basis in reality b/c there has not been enough time to learn enough about the other to know if they have a character worth your true love.

I'm pretty sure "the fog" is why they say, love is blind.

Remember: you fall in love with personality, but you have to live with someone's character. You only know if it is love if their character allows you to continue having that "in love" feeling, at least occasionally, after a few years together. Most of the time, discovering someone's character flaws will end that feeling and we move on--unless we've made the mistake of marrying before we discover that character. That's when things get really tricky.

Wow...very inciteful and intelligent (in my humble opinion). This hit home with me! I've been married over 30 yrs. and it may end soon? May not? My wife had a horrid affair with my so called "best friend" 12 years ago and the pain has always been lurking in the shadows coming out from time to time because of "triggers". One being that "he" shared my same name so hearing it in bed has ruined me...

I fell in love with my wifes beauty, her free spirit, her drive and ambition, and we married young. Although she had good aspects to her "character", I was always concerned by her ability to lie and to make things up. She could tell a story and make things so much bigger than they were that you could have been there and you'd be thinking - that's not what happened at all? She was also always insecure and jealous with no confidence in her abilities always putting herself down.

I believe her "character flaws" are what led her to her ongoing PA, and her ability to lie just made it easier for her. I really had no clue and was blindsided when I found them on a cruise together. I'm not sure why I stayed and through a series of events as well as therapy i now see things for how they really are. Even though I believe she hasn't and could never do this again, I believed that back then, so what do I really know? I think "character" is so important in a relationship! Thanks for this incite, it helps to validate what I'm going through and my desire for a seperation after all this time. I still see her same character flaws that I feel led up to her affair coming out from time to time and it makes me uncomfortable. I f i say anything, she says "I'm just having fun" and then she gets angry with me? Of course the next day it's always like nothing ever happened and we're great...and I'm thinking - Really? What about what just happened last night? I know she's a good person, and I believe she loves me, but sometimes its just not enough

 

[S4E]

What if we need this fog from time to time? I see women that are in fog, they got more energy they look younger, they feel better. It is obviously something that their body needs more than just sex. I saw men in fog – the same. It would be good if we could create this fog from time to time in our relations with the same person. But fog is a great thing, we need it!

Fog can be a great thing "with the same person", otherwise it can cause problems. Either way it's good to be aware that there is a difference..