[DayDream]

Is she the reason you divorced?

 

[imjustlost]

Is she the reason you divorced?

No. I met her months after I decided to divorce my STBXW for telling another man she loved him.

 

[DayDream]

No. I met her months after I decided to divorce my wife for telling another man she loved him.

Okay. I was just wondering if you left your wife for her and then she takes off with her "ex". That would have been even worse.

No girlfriend worth anything would have taken off on a vacation with her ex of 4 years. Sounds like you're getting the idea though.

 

[jane1213]

go dark. You seem to be going through a lot . You have a pooor judgement. you are in the dark

 

[hookares]

Girl friends are like socks. If you get holes in socks you throw them away. The same goes for relationships with"girlfriends". (and ex wives, for that matter)

 

[imjustlost]

No girlfriend worth anything would have taken off on a vacation with her ex of 4 years. Sounds like you're getting the idea though.

That is my feeling as well. Either she doesn't get it, which is bad, or she doesn't care, which is worse.

 

[DayDream]

That is my feeling as well. Either she doesn't get it, which is bad, or she doesn't care, which is worse.

You'd have to be pretty stupid not to get that though...:scratchhead:

 

[imjustlost]

Facebook unfriended
Instagram blocked
Google+ photo album blocked
Number deleted
Hitting the gym
Lawyering up
wait wut

 

[chillymorn]

well,I'll bet she dosn't feel like roommates now!

move on and chalk it up to.....glad I didn't waste too much time with this bi*ch. and be glad you found out about her poor charachter earlier rather than later.

 

[galian84]

Woah, I would have raised hell if my boyfriend came to me with this proposition. And if he insisted on going despite my protests, well, then the relationship is over.

Just be glad you only invested 5 months in her. Have to agree with everyone saying to go dark. She obviously doesn't care very much about you, or the relationship...she went on a vacation and un-invited you! Going on vacation with someone of the opposite sex, unless they are family, is NEVER okay, IMO.

 

[costa200]

Facebook unfriended
Instagram blocked
Google+ photo album blocked
Number deleted
Hitting the gym
Lawyering up
wait wut

I thinks that's the way, but why didn't you raise hell BEFORE she went with this guy? Where you afraid of being called "controlling" or something? This is something you should look at when searching for a new relationship. I think you failed to defend your turf somewhat, although it is my belief that the turf wasn't worth being defended in the first place.

She said she didn't feel comfortable with me spending the money while going through my divorce (I'm going through a divorce)

Gotta give her points for originality!

 

[Cosmos]

I'm sorry, OP, but it sounds like she and the ex have gone away together to see if it's worth them getting back together again.

This:-

Before meeting up with him, and flying out, she sends me a chat message that she loves me and wished i was there

could have been to ensure that she has a plan B, should they decide it isn't. That is, she wants to keep you bubbling away on the back burner, 'just in case.'

You don't need a woman in your life who treats you like this.

 

[imjustlost]

I thinks that's the way, but why didn't you raise hell BEFORE she went with this guy? Where you afraid of being called "controlling" or something?

I did tell her I was uncomfortable with her going with him. I left it at that, as I felt I didn't have to explain why. I wasn't afraid to be considered controlling.

 

[imjustlost]

Just don't feel comfortable with going dark though, can't help but feel passive aggressive doing it. I feel like I should at least say, I can't be treated this way, and I'm done.

 

[DayDream]

Then you can go dark after?

 

[costa200]

I did tell her I was uncomfortable with her going with him. I left it at that, as I felt I didn't have to explain why. I wasn't afraid to be considered controlling.

Alright then... This is completely on her then. She chose to ignore your concerns. That message she sent you is insulting. She expects to keep you as a backup plan!

Just don't feel comfortable with going dark though, can't help but feel passive aggressive doing it. I feel like I should at least say, I can't be treated this way, and I'm done.

If you feel you have to do it. But be prepared for a womanly show of repent and "i didn't know you felt so strongly about it" and "don't you trust me" and the whole regular crap cheaters use when someone tells them they aren't having more cake. Can you handle that?


Plus, going dark and cut ties and act like you don't give a sh!t anymore couldn't be more positive for you. It's not passive agressive, it's dominant head of the pack stuff.

Feeling the need to explain yourself to her is the opposite.

 

[ScarletBegonias]

It's good to see you understand that you're PlanB for her.Personally I feel going dark is passive aggressive but others have tried it and it has worked so it might help for you.
Good luck.

 

[JCD]

I did tell her I was uncomfortable with her going with him. I left it at that, as I felt I didn't have to explain why. I wasn't afraid to be considered controlling.

Did you put it into a haiku? Maybe with a card and a pop up heart when you open it?

UNCOMFORTABLE? Dude...it's OKAY to be angry for crap that is enraging.

This was a HUGE Sh*t Test and you blew it (or she really didn't care. My vote)

 

[JCD]

It's good to see you understand that you're PlanB for her.Personally I feel going dark is passive aggressive but others have tried it and it has worked so it might help for you.
Good luck.

Help with what? He isn't trying to get back with her (or at least he SHOULDN'T)

Christ had it right: If the girl doesn't accept you, shake the dust of that place off your feet and walk.

If you need closure and a nice little FU to her and haven't defriended her yet, try this

Her Wall:

Dear Slvtina,

I hope you are enjoying your vacation in Cabo with your supposedly ex lover. Your stuff is with Mrs. Mulligan.

Your REAL ex lover.

Now she gets to do damage control and she got the message.

 

[In_The_Wind]

Facebook unfriended
Instagram blocked
Google+ photo album blocked
Number deleted
Hitting the gym
Lawyering up
wait wut

I think I would also take some time out from dating or relationships like a year or so and work through your ex wife issues that way you dont bring a lot of baggage to your next relationship focus on yr self for now