[SF-FAN]

She only makes $5k a year? Holy cow. I spend that much a year on coffee.

Fulltime student, partime job. She does get financial aid (a good amount) so not sure if that gets taken into consideration. All questions I am going to ask my lawyer.

 

[bandit.45]

Fulltime student, partime job. She does get financial aid (a good amount) so not sure if that gets taken into consideration. All questions I am going to ask my lawyer.

A deadbeat who siphons off men and the system is what she is. Toss her...

 

[badmemory]

The bottom line, since you're divorcing; is don't expose them at work without talking to a lawyer about the financial consequences to you.

If it were me, and I didn't have to worry about alimony, I'd wait until after the D, and look into going after the POSOM's job. I'd focus on him. If your wife loses her job in the process, that's on her.

 

[SF-FAN]

The bottom line, since you're divorcing; is don't expose them at work without talking to a lawyer about the financial consequences to you.

If it were me, and I didn't have to worry about alimony, I'd wait until after the D, and look into going after the POSOM's job. I'd focus on him. If your wife loses her job in the process, that's on her.

After getting the advice, I am just going to wait on nuking them at work, shoot it may come out without my doing. Getting him fired will probably not happen. The owner is a douche with no morals and the OM is like the 2nd in command and pretty does what he wants. My WW would leave if the exposure was too much to handle and she felt so uncomfortable she couldn't take it anymore.

My in-laws did say that he will NEVER be welcome anywhere near their family so as far as a future, he doesn't stand a chance of being part of their family. She wouldn't be able to handle that. I know, I know, who gives a sh*t but it's just things that come across my mind at 2 am when I can't sleep.

 

[joe kidd]

After getting the advice, I am just going to wait on nuking them at work, shoot it may come out without my doing. Getting him fired will probably not happen. The owner is a douche with no morals and the OM is like the 2nd in command and pretty does what he wants. My WW would leave if the exposure was too much to handle and she felt so uncomfortable she couldn't take it anymore.

My in-laws did say that he will NEVER be welcome anywhere near their family so as far as a future, he doesn't stand a chance of being part of their family. She wouldn't be able to handle that. I know, I know, who gives a sh*t but it's just things that come across my mind at 2 am when I can't sleep.

We take what victories we can. You are handling this well. I, in contrast, was determined to set the world on fire and stumble drunkenly through the ashes. Best of luck.

 

[happyman64]

We take what victories we can. You are handling this well. I, in contrast, was determined to set the world on fire and stumble drunkenly through the ashes. Best of luck.

Joe

You are much too humble with the "setting the world on fire" comment.



HM

 

[the guy]

After getting the advice, I am just going to wait on nuking them at work, shoot it may come out without my doing. Getting him fired will probably not happen. The owner is a douche with no morals and the OM is like the 2nd in command and pretty does what he wants. My WW would leave if the exposure was too much to handle and she felt so uncomfortable she couldn't take it anymore.

My in-laws did say that he will NEVER be welcome anywhere near their family so as far as a future, he doesn't stand a chance of being part of their family. She wouldn't be able to handle that. I know, I know, who gives a sh*t but it's just things that come across my mind at 2 am when I can't sleep.

Good call
Exposing the affair is pointless and besides everybody at work most likely already knows.
From the sound of it there isn't really any strong HR and in that kind of work people are screwing around with and on each other.

Whats funny is your wife is clueless and she already has a reputation they (coworkers) just don't talk about it in front of her. The OM most likely is bragging to all the other guys and the other girls are gossiping about her being married and going out with the cook.

 

[SF-FAN]

Good call
Exposing the affair is pointless and besides everybody at work most likely already knows.
From the sound of it there isn't really any strong HR and in that kind of work people are screwing around with and on each other.

Whats funny is your wife is clueless and she already has a reputation they (coworkers) just don't talk about it in front of her. The OM most likely is bragging to all the other guys and the other girls are gossiping about her being married and going out with the cook.

You hit it right on the head because she has told me all people do is talk sh*t about eachother. The girl that referred her for the job now hates her guts and according to my WW, other girls don't really care for her either. That place is a sespool (sp) of people that aren't worth a sh*t.

 

[bandit.45]

I forsee in five years she's going to be one of those bloated 300 pound aircraft carriers you see late on a Sunday night in WalMart, breezing down through the isle like a leviathan with a shopping cart full of soft drinks and diapers, trailing five or six screaming snot-nosed kids, all of mixed races from different dads, hanging off of her like she's a Conestoga wagon...

 

[Lefacade]

It is almost like I feel bad for her. She is mentally unstable and I feel bad for her. I also do feel a bit of guilt for planning to move forward and leaving her behind to deal with her own rent, car payments, etc. because she only has a part time job. Why do I feel bad and guilty???

Because you're a decent human being and she isn't. When you feel bad like that think of what she did and how your feelings didn't even matter, only her happiness.

 

[SF-FAN]

I forsee in five years she's going to be one of those bloated 300 pound aircraft carriers you see late on a Sunday night in WalMart, breezing down through the isle like a leviathan with a shopping cart full of soft drinks and diapers, trailing five or six screaming snot-nosed kids, all of mixed races from different dads, hanging off of her like she's a Conestoga wagon...

Yes and no. She can't have anymore kids thankfully she won't be having anymore kids. She is dead set on graduating from college and is almost done so while she is not guaranteed making tons of money, she will have an education. As far as bloated and at walmart, she doesn't eat because she's super vain and is afraid to gain an ounce and refuses to set foot in Walmart because she is too good.

No, I am hoping she just doesn't get the high paying job she things she will, the kids don't want anything to do with her when they are of age to leave and her image as a serial cheater ruins any possibility of her having a meaningful relationship.

 

[bandit.45]

I should go back and read again.

But dude... you're not thinking this through...You should hope she gets the high paying job...

That means less alimony for you to pay... and...

If she ends up making more than you, SHE PAYS YOU ALIMONY!!!

 

[SF-FAN]

I should go back and read again.

But dude... you're not thinking this through...You should hope she gets the high paying job...

That means less alimony for you to pay... and...

If she ends up making more than you, SHE PAYS YOU ALIMONY!!!

She won't be graduating for about a year, the D will be long over before then. Are you saying our income in the future is also a determining factor in me or her having to pay anything?

Man, so many questions to ask the attorney.

 

[tom67]

I should go back and read again.

But dude... you're not thinking this through...You should hope she gets the high paying job...

That means less alimony for you to pay... and...

If she ends up making more than you, SHE PAYS YOU ALIMONY!!!

Bandit has a point.
If she is graduating soon you may want to wait a little although like Eric said the backlog in Cali it could be earliest 7 months before the first court date.
PM Eric415 he will tell you.

 

[bandit.45]

She won't be graduating for about a year, the D will be long over before then. Are you saying our income in the future is also a determining factor in me or her having to pay anything?

Man, so many questions to ask the attorney.

The court splits the combined incomes. So if she makes more than you...she pays you up to the 50% mark.

You could actually stand to make a little extra bread by waiting for her to get that job. Just don't let on that is what you are doing.

 

[the guy]

You hit it right on the head because she has told me all people do is talk sh*t about eachother. The girl that referred her for the job now hates her guts and according to my WW, other girls don't really care for her either. That place is a sespool (sp) of people that aren't worth a sh*t.

I'm curious if it would be worth contacting this ex friend and asking her what went wrong with the friendship. Explain to her that you know about the affair between the cook and your old lady and if that had anything to do with the break up of the friendship?

Then ask her for her support for your marriageand family and if their is any thing she would like to add that you are not aware off you would keep her up most confidence.

I'm thinking since there is no HR to report to and you don't want your old lady to lose her job during the divorce...this might be the next best thing to making the affair as inconvienent and as uncomfortable to continue or restart.

You know what I mean... maybe you could gain some ground by contacting this coworker.

 

[Chaparral]

Does any one know what effect it would have on alimony/custody if SF talked her into moving out and leaving the kids, then delay the divorce for a long time. Could being able to claim abandonmet help his cause? Too evil?

 

[SF-FAN]

I'm curious if it would be worth contacting this ex friend and asking her what went wrong with the friendship. Explain to her that you know about the affair between the cook and your old lady and if that had anything to do with the break up of the friendship?

Then ask her for her support for your marriageand family and if their is any thing she would like to add that you are not aware off you would keep her up most confidence.

I'm thinking since there is no HR to report to and you don't want your old lady to lose her job during the divorce...this might be the next best thing to making the affair as inconvienent and as uncomfortable to continue or restart.

You know what I mean... maybe you could gain some ground by contacting this coworker.

I was thinking of doing that but if my WW knew I contacted the ex friend and still current co-worker, she'd be extremely angry and probably screw me in the D. I know that if I tell her ex friend about the A, her hatred for my WW would cause her to blab at work. I may find some useful information by talking to her but I'm trying to figure out how.

 

[SF-FAN]

Does any one know what effect it would have on alimony/custody if SF talked her into moving out and leaving the kids, then delay the divorce for a long time. Could being able to claim abandonmet help his cause? Too evil?

She wouldn't do that. Especially since 2 are not my bio. She continues to claim that she is a great mother despite what she did.

 

[weightlifter]

OP. Read poster whyeme. He was where you are mentally. Wanted to drive into on august 20... If luck holds... He is getting his lance waxed as i type for the first time in a while and has made a lot of comeback. My point is picture it and believe.

Save your evidence offsite and in three places!!!