My wife has been having an emotional affair for months. She has been playing online spades with this guy for about 8 months (she said the time frame, I haven't been tracking it). She plays for hours nearly every night. The only time she doesn't play with him is when he is not there. He'll even go so far as to let her know if he isn't going to be playing. "I'll be gone until Sunday." I have been arguing that this relationship is wrong for months. However, she has continually insisted that it is just fun. 12 days ago, I came across (accidentally) some google searches. "Falling in love on the internet", "Getting over an emotional affair", and several searches for him. Supposedly, she only knows his first name and last initial and that he lives in Denver. I confronted her and she admitted that she had lied. She said she wouldn't play with him again. She has played every single night and has even called him. I don't believe they have ever met. She says she needs time to end it in her own way. She can't feel forced to end her relationship with him. How do I give her space to do that while she tears my heart out every night?
HurtinginTN
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Dealing with an ongoing emotional affair
HurtinginTN,
I dont think K.G.meant an attack on you per say , so please don't take it as such, as your reply seemed to me. None of us, none, is in a very good place, or none of us, would be on this freaking forum. We are all just looking out for each other, I guess like, we have each others back.
I know you are in hell ,as I saw you go by me the other day,and saw many more of us on this site too. Just hang in there. All we can do is believe what others before us tell us, "It does get better." My question is, " So until it gets better,now what ?" Maybe you can help me, as you come before me. This is a freaking wild ride....
~sammy
I dont think K.G.meant an attack on you per say , so please don't take it as such, as your reply seemed to me. None of us, none, is in a very good place, or none of us, would be on this freaking forum. We are all just looking out for each other, I guess like, we have each others back.
I know you are in hell ,as I saw you go by me the other day,and saw many more of us on this site too. Just hang in there. All we can do is believe what others before us tell us, "It does get better." My question is, " So until it gets better,now what ?" Maybe you can help me, as you come before me. This is a freaking wild ride....
~sammy
I have a new thread in the Going Through Divorce or Separation section titled "Day 1 of Separation". I guess another name may have been better as it is now day 5, but I started it on day 1. She left about a month ago to see OM in Denver (20 hour drive) and stayed for 2 weeks. She supposedly had an eye opening experience and came back to work on the marriage. Her words, actions, attitude, etc. all matched her words that she was now committed to the marriage. For a week. Then she called him again. Then she had a couple of more strikes in the following days. As of this past Sunday, we are separated. I'm giving her divorce papers tonight and asking her to complete them by next weekend. I will do the same. If we can iron out all of the differences, we will just file at the courthouse without getting attorneys involved. If not, I have a good attorney lined up. Either way, the marriage is dead. The end result of divorce is set in stone. The only question is the exact path.
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