Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
21 - 40 of 40 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,182 Posts
Hey Neal

You wanna know what will get rid of her addiction

THE COLD HARD REALITY OF DIVORCE

Tell her to go to her lover, pack her clothes for her, and send her out the door---let her know you will NOT be with a woman, who has no respect for you

If she respected you, and the mge, and her family---this would be over

It would not be hard, she just has no reason, to end her love A.---you are not forcing any consequences on her

Do not forget she allowed this man inside her body, in defiance of her vows, she basically said to YOU, by her actions, you are nothing more than a POS

You have not stated there were any great problems with the mge., so why would she wreck the lives of everyone around her, for some cheap sex, , and some whispered sweet nothings, with a mmarried man, that can/never go anywhere.

She chose him over you, and now she still keeps him hanging around----

You want this to work, call her out, draw your line in the sand

Take AWAY her phone, computer, make her responsible to you at ALL times, make her do ALL the heavy lifting, lets see what kind of REAL remorse she shows,, what kind of contriteness there REALLY is, you don't want to hear that she is so sorry, that is pure BS---YOU WANT HER TO BE SORRY---you want selfless, not selfish

Tell her D., is on the table, lets see where she goes when facing the end of her comfortable lifestyle, things may not be good tween the 2 of you, but she sure ain't out there on her own, as she would be if you D'd her
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
348 Posts
Neal, this is copy/pasted from another thread that I wrote in, but here's how it goes down when you expose:

Here's the thing about exposure: NEVER GIVE YOUR SPOUSE OR THE OTHER WOMAN/MAN WARNING THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPOSE. JUST DO IT!!!

Why?

Because that will give her and the OM time to get their stories straight/corroborate timelines and make YOU out to be the crazy/psycho husband who has trust issues and is going through a hard time in his marriage, therefore he suspects his wife is cheating on him and wants to lash out at everyone. They WILL do this if you keep giving them warnings. Oh and you bet she's told him already "My husband knows...if someone asks we can just say we're friends" and have already started planning and concocting their stupid excuses and lame cover up stories.

Find out who his wife is and exposes immediately:

"OM's Wife,

Your husband, Name, has been having an affair with my Wife's Name since on or about Month/Year. I discovered the affair by way of (fill in the blank). (Copy/paste or verbalize any proof you have). Their affair has been detrimental to my marriage. My wife told me the affair ended however I have proof contradicts that--they are still having an affair and in contact. I am telling you this because you deserve to know the truth. If you were already aware of the affair, then I am sure that this comes as no surprise to you, but if not, I am sorry to have to be the one to inform you. If you want to talk further or need further proof, you may contact me (at....fill in the blank).

Your Name"

THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

F them! And no, your wife doesn't sound like he wants to work it out with you if she's still lying to you. So expose her for the liar she is without telling her or OM. And in the interim, tell her "I am aware you are lying to me and still in contact with the OM. You need to leave today because I refuse to live in an open marriage. I refuse to be treated so callously and be lied to and I will not tolerate this nonsense and your betrayals anymore. Get the f*ck out, homes!"

Remove yourself as an option for her. She will not feel any consequences as long as you're covering up the affair and allowing him to stay in the house/carry on as a married man with all the benefits of a committed relationship. She is not committed to your marriage, therefore you do not need to reward her with the same generosity and pat her on the back and feel fearful when she is the one making these d!ck moves. Tell her where to go.


Oh and a word of advice: NO marriage counselling as long as she's having an affair. MC does nothing as long as one partner is still lying/having an affair.
:iagree::iagree::iagree:

This is just perfect.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
836 Posts
Inform the OM's wife, get tested for STDs and file for divorce. Your wife is addicted to the OM and after promising you to have no contact with him, she turned around and did it again, this is a second betrayal. If she truly loved you she would have walked through glass to restore your trust in her after promising to end all contact with the OM. You need to man up and let her see that there are consequences to her actions.
I would do this.

You don't have to finalize the D unless you want to but doing this will make her come down from the A and make her panic from losing you.

You can't be nice to her or "understanding", you have to put your foot down and tell her its over then let her try to win you back. As long as she has any feelings at all for the OM there's a chance she will relapse back into the A (technically it sounds like she never ended it).

If you don't play hardball, you will fail.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20,603 Posts
Neal, this is copy/pasted from another thread that I wrote in, but here's how it goes down when you expose:

Here's the thing about exposure: NEVER GIVE YOUR SPOUSE OR THE OTHER WOMAN/MAN WARNING THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPOSE. JUST DO IT!!!

Why?

Because that will give her and the OM time to get their stories straight/corroborate timelines and make YOU out to be the crazy/psycho husband who has trust issues and is going through a hard time in his marriage, therefore he suspects his wife is cheating on him and wants to lash out at everyone. They WILL do this if you keep giving them warnings. Oh and you bet she's told him already "My husband knows...if someone asks we can just say we're friends" and have already started planning and concocting their stupid excuses and lame cover up stories.

Find out who his wife is and exposes immediately:

"OM's Wife,

Your husband, Name, has been having an affair with my Wife's Name since on or about Month/Year. I discovered the affair by way of (fill in the blank). (Copy/paste or verbalize any proof you have). Their affair has been detrimental to my marriage. My wife told me the affair ended however I have proof contradicts that--they are still having an affair and in contact. I am telling you this because you deserve to know the truth. If you were already aware of the affair, then I am sure that this comes as no surprise to you, but if not, I am sorry to have to be the one to inform you. If you want to talk further or need further proof, you may contact me (at....fill in the blank).

Your Name"

THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

F them! And no, your wife doesn't sound like he wants to work it out with you if she's still lying to you. So expose her for the liar she is without telling her or OM. And in the interim, tell her "I am aware you are lying to me and still in contact with the OM. You need to leave today because I refuse to live in an open marriage. I refuse to be treated so callously and be lied to and I will not tolerate this nonsense and your betrayals anymore. Get the f*ck out, homes!"

Remove yourself as an option for her. She will not feel any consequences as long as you're covering up the affair and allowing him to stay in the house/carry on as a married man with all the benefits of a committed relationship. She is not committed to your marriage, therefore you do not need to reward her with the same generosity and pat her on the back and feel fearful when she is the one making these d!ck moves. Tell her where to go.


Oh and a word of advice: NO marriage counselling as long as she's having an affair. MC does nothing as long as one partner is still lying/having an affair.


********************** | ***************************************** | ***************************************
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,948 Posts
Dude, she has been lying to you for a while now. First it was only a EA, then YOU find out it was a PA. Then she tells you that its over and she has No Contact. The YOU find out they're still communicating. She tells you she's REALLY done talk to this guy. The YOU bluffed her and she folded and told you the were just texting. If she can't be honest with you then you really don't have anything.

What you need to do is contact the OMW. She has a right to know that her WH has been carrying on an affair. She has a right to know just what kind of man she married. Do not tell your wife you're doing this. SHe'll tip him off and they'll be able to get there story straight prior to you contacting her. Your wife shouldn't get mad, she should even know what you did because she's not in contact with this guy, right? ;)
She has not told you the truth - not one single time - through all of this. Why would you even consider believing her now. She cannot be in love with you and be in love with and screwing OM. Plus - it is just so hard to give him up. The affair has not ended. They are still in contact - just being very, very careful.

How does it feel to be the consolation prize? Your marriage is dead and gone. The wife you married is not the woman you are with now. This woman is a cheat and a liar. Divorce now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
Maybe she's saying she wants to work it out... just to give her time to figure out an exit strategy that SHE is happy with..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,281 Posts
I would have helped her pack just as soon as she told me she was no longer attracted to me physically or emotionally.
Telling me that she "loved" me but was in (?) love with the other tube steak would have been enough.
Of course I have the benefit of having lived with a cheater for over twenty years and heard all the excuses from her along with some I made, myself in order to reconcile her actions.
Good Luck
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,472 Posts
sounds like she won't stop......I have a similar problem with my husband, except my thread will probably make you feel better for sure
 
21 - 40 of 40 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top