Another woman here who checked out, then walked out.
22yrs with a narcissist. EVERYTHING was about him! EVERYTHING was for HIS benefit. He DIDN'T CARE when I told him that child & I got NOTHING unless it was an unintended by-product of HIM getting HIMSELF what he wanted. He DIDN'T CARE when I told him that we had not enough money to pay bills (our child learned to look at the name on the phone before answering - don't p/u for bill collectors) and yet he kept buying himself what he wanted: horses & gear, purebred dogs, guns & ammo, coats he didn't need, expensive trucks. He ruined my credit, got us about $400,000 in debt (not including the foreclosed-on house), continues to borrow money from personal friends (relatives are dead or burnt-out on lending him money). He lives in a dreamland of his own creation where his endless business schemes are going to make him a gazillionaire. I got so tired of working my azz off and him spending it faster than I could make it. Tired of child & I being ignored, dismissed, treated as less important than HIS needs CONTINUALLY. The only time he 'acted' like he gave a cr*p was when he wanted to show off his 'wife & cute child' to impress someone.
Last move was so rural, there were no jobs. EVERYTHING with debt attached to it was in HIS name. I couldn't work. Finally had enough, told him I wanted a divorce, he was SHOCKED!!!!! Waited 6 months for end of school year, left his azz. He was BEYOND SHOCKED! Got mean, menacing, threatening, put his hands on me, made up TOTAL LIES to tell our child so she would hate me (because HE hates me, she MUST hate me too), threatened in front of child to punch me, threatened (while she was in school) to kill me.
From the day I told him I wanted a divorce until 6 months later when I walked out, I NEVER AGAIN TOLD HIM "I love you." Because I didn't, and I hadn't for a LONG TIME, and he would never see it, or hear it, or believe it.
So, yeah, I checked out A LONG TIME before I got the guts to walk out. But telling him DID NO GOOD. He didn't believe it and he didn't care.
Just my personal take on 'walk away' spouses.