[the liberal one]

As the title mentioned, i'm just really interested your view on this small but a growing trend.

I'm a chinese had a LTR (later "married") to an australian wife. Really rare in accordance to statistics (only 2%!)(Interracial marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

I notice that people were actually staring at us when we were holding hands or kissing and etc. That just give me the creeps on why people are still racially sensitive on racial-relationship. (not saying ****e to anyone but it gradually improves during the 7 years we were together)

One thing that makes people reluctant for a interracial relationships are parental pressure to marry to the same "race" or thinking that he/she should not deserve it and etc

What do you think on interracial marriage and can it be maintained despite cultural differences? Also what are the other challenges in having a interracial relationship/marriage.

Just wanna here your views thanks

 

[I'mInLoveWithMyHubby]

I personally see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

A marriage should be with 2 people that love each other dearly regardless of religion or race.

 

[Jellybeans]

As the title mentioned, i'm just really interested your view on this small but a growing trend.

It's not "small" or a growing "trend." Interracial marriages and relationships have been around since the beginning of time and will continue to be.

I see nothing wrong with it. If two people want to be together, they should be.

 

[Jellybeans]

What do you think on interracial marriage and can it be maintained despite cultural differences?

Any relationship can be maintained as long as the people in it commit to it and to stayin together.

 

[ScarletBegonias]

As the title mentioned, i'm just really interested your view on this small but a growing trend.

I'm a chinese had a LTR (later "married") to an australian wife. Really rare in accordance to statistics (only 2%!)(Interracial marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

I notice that people were actually staring at us when we were holding hands or kissing and etc. That just give me the creeps on why people are still racially sensitive on racial-relationship. (not saying ****e to anyone but it gradually improves during the 7 years we were together)

One thing that makes people reluctant for a interracial relationships are parental pressure to marry to the same "race" or thinking that he/she should not deserve it and etc

What do you think on interracial marriage and can it be maintained despite cultural differences? Also what are the other challenges in having a interracial relationship/marriage.

Just wanna here your views thanks

I had no idea it was a small but growing trend.I thought we were mostly "mutts"

I think since there's nothing wrong with interracial marriage.It's 2012 for heavens sake,we shouldn't even call it interracial marriage,it's just MARRIAGE. two people in love. that's it.color blind.I'd think people would iron out their cultural differences prior to agreeing on marriage.

 

[827Aug]

Human beings are all equal. Race shouldn't matter. Unfortunately, people who don't feel this way often make an interracial marriage difficult--that being some family members, friends, and neighbors. I wouldn't have a problem with my children having interracial marriages. We already have an array of ethnicities and religions in the family. Everyone is very accepting and there are no problems.

Hope more people can become open-minded, so life will be easier on you, your wife, and others.

 

[KathyBatesel]

I think people should stay out of other people's affairs when not invited. So many of the judgmental people out there are that way because they're unhappy in their own lives.

As pointed out, interracial marriages are not uncommon. They have unique pressures, but race is very rarely the reason for those relationships to end. They end for the same reasons as same-race couples - disagreements over money, fidelity, control.

They also succeed for the same reasons - shared respect and admiration, great compatibility, and generous helpings of love.

 

[lilith23]

I'm Asian and part occidental, and my husband is occidental. I have a multicultural background. I was born in an Asian country and moved to Europe for 13 years.

I don't see any problem if we can communicate and understand each other (speaking same languages), share similar interests and lifestyle, similar beliefs and so on. If we can understand and relate to each other, and there are no cultural restrictions (like religions and costumes), I don't see much problems. Our family is also open to it any ways.

The only small problems are that he can't understand my native language and can get bored whenever we are spending time with my family, and there are also a few cultural stuffs I can't share with him. Cultural jokes, childhood references, and so on... But they are just not serious anyways.

 

[lilith23]

The people who looks with judgmental eyes are revealing their own ignorance, of how they never seen much of the world but only lived in their own small world. I always keep that in mind whenever people look at me with weird eyes.

The good thing is, sometimes some people do look out of curiosity and not for being judgmental.

 

[sinnister]

I'm in an interracial marriage. I am black and my wife is latina.

We get looks from all sides, but living in Canada I find it much less common to get the creepy stares.

Everytime I travel to the U.S. though the stairs are much more pronounced. I stopped at a fast food restaurant in upstate NY once and regretted it. Creepiest vibe from everybody their giving me the "you don't belong look".

 

[Caribbean Man]

Our marriage is an interracial one.
Never had any problems from people outside the marriage based on race.
In our country, interracial marriages are the cultural norm, because the determinant factor of status in our society is not race, but wealth.

The head of State is a black man married to an East Indian woman.
The immediate past head of the Judiciary was a White Portugese man married to a black woman.
One of the most prominent ,wealthiest businessman in the entertainment business down here is Chinese. [ Lots of Chinese here too]. He owns recording studios , media houses etc. His wife is Black.
So Chinese, Black, Indian , Latin, White, everybody marry whomsoever they want, in the end its money that determines your status in our very affluent society.

So my answer to the question is yes. Two people of different ethnicity can get married and make it. However there is a big but.
If the society is one that does not frown on such marriages, it is much easier. They get invited to social functions where they meet other couples just like themselves . When they visit the supermarket, mall, church, nobody makes funny faces at them.

But if they live in a society that frowns on the practice, then it can be hard on them because they are made to feel like outcasts or aliens.

EDIT.
One of the fun things about the prevalence of interracial marriages down here, is that you cannot tell a person's race by their name.
So I might meet a client by phone and she gives her name as
" Lee Anne Tsoi-a -fat " which sounds like Chinese
[ Cantonese].Later ,when I meet Lee Ann , behold she is White or mixed.
Her husband or father is Chinese.
Usually we will just have a good laugh!

 

[Caro]

I was surprised to even see you asking about what people thought about interracial marriage! Of course there's nothing wrong with it - it's about love!

There are many places in the world where interracial marriage is hardly even thought of as "different" anymore. It sounds like you don't live in one of those places, which is really too bad. I can imagine the looks must be disturbing, and you might wonder if things could progress to more than just looks. But I can assure you that there are plenty of places where you'd be perfectly welcome.

Hang in there!

Caro

 

[Coffee Amore]

I don't see what the big deal is. More and more people are in such marriages. It's not a small trend at all in my area. In fact, interracial marriages are so common where I live that people like me who grew up in a homogenous family are the minority. Interracial marriages a growing trend in my community. On my husband's side of the family, there are many interracial marriages between White and Asian mostly. The majority of my cousins are in interracial relationships. A few of them live in Australia, like you OP. So far I haven't heard them talk about problems from being in such marriages. They live in big cities like Sydney and Melbourne, but that's not to say they haven't experienced racial related problems either.

 

[EnjoliWoman]

I personally see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

A marriage should be with 2 people that love each other dearly regardless of religion or race.

Or gender.

Matters not to me what two people who love each other do.

 

[Mrs Chai]

I'm married to a Taiwanese man. When we dated, it didn't seem like a lot people 'noticed' our difference in race (I'm Caucasian). However, when we announced our marriage it got a little more scrutiny. Perhaps its because he grew up in Taiwan and then moved here to become a citizen, I get a lot of "How is his being Chinese going to effect how you raise your kids?" Etc.

As for stares, I don't notice them. We live in a town with two major Universities next to each other so there's a large variety of ethnicity in the area. So I guess mixed couples are not as out of place compared to when we visit my smaller hometown or travel outside of college towns.


I find the challenge being married to a man who was raised in a different country and culture that we clash on opinions of the 'household.' I was raised by a father who went to work, a mother who stayed home and raised the kids, a very nuclear family. While his was not that much different, we run into things were I'll be like:

"Well the husband is SUPPOSED to do that."

I'd say the most recent would be any dealings to our Landlord. Though we have separate bank accounts, we have a joint account for living expenses and in my house my father took care of those things. My issue is I assume my husband will do things that aren't exactly necessary for him to do (I could do them myself) but based on my background, I expect him to do them (paying bills, etc.)

We have fixed that issue (divvied up who was responsible for what bill) and now I voice "I would like you to do..." instead of just assuming he would take a role/position that I would expect him to take due to what I observed as a child with my father.

I don't know if that makes sense and its not the best example of our differences, but I know we ran into them early in the marriage and had addressed them accordingly. If I can think of any others I'll be happy to share them later =)

 

[heavensangel]

Doesn't bother me int he least. Honestly, in some areas where it's frowned upon, I admire those who go for it and do what they have to do to beat the odds. It shows true commitment to the one they love!

When H and I first met, we were out a local pub, and a co-worker of mine actually attacked him, calling him an F'ing Puerto Rican and what the [email protected] did he think he was doing with a white woman. A bouncer had to finally throw her out. Yes, H does look like he could have Native American and/or Mexican/Puerto Rican heritage, but he doesn't. His father's traced their lineage back to the mid 1700s; not a lick of any heritage other than white. When out & about, we occasionally get some strange glances our way and I often wonder if they're thinking the same way my co-worker did but you know........ it really wouldn't/doesn't matter to me where he's from, he's still CAPTURED MY HEART!!!!!!!

 

[Runs like Dog]

Love is Courage. Be Brave.

 

[the liberal one]

Hope more people can become open-minded, so life will be easier on you, your wife, and others.

thanks, thanks to multiculturalism over the last decade the creepy stares and shocks by the pedestrians actually lessen. Also both of our parents are quite open-minded about our relationship (heck my dad is actually one of her dad's good friend at work years ago)

but i know there are some couples who are still currently struggling, hope they can stand the test of time

EDIT.
One of the fun things about the prevalence of interracial marriages down here, is that you cannot tell a person's race by their name.
So I might meet a client by phone and she gives her name as
" Lee Anne Tsoi-a -fat " which sounds like Chinese
[ Cantonese].Later ,when I meet Lee Ann , behold she is White or mixed.
Her husband or father is Chinese.
Usually we will just have a good laugh!

Whoa well Cantonese was actually my mother tongue (but after being in australia for 2 decades i actually let english as my mother tongue)

I don't see what the big deal is. More and more people are in such marriages. It's not a small trend at all in my area. In fact, interracial marriages are so common where I live that people like me who grew up in a homogenous family are the minority. Interracial marriages a growing trend in my community. On my husband's side of the family, there are many interracial marriages between White and Asian mostly. The majority of my cousins are in interracial relationships. A few of them live in Australia, like you OP. So far I haven't heard them talk about problems from being in such marriages. They live in big cities like Sydney and Melbourne, but that's not to say they haven't experienced racial related problems either.

i lived in Melbourne the most socially liberal place in Australia so racial issues is actually minimal there and also interracial relationships always happens in big cities (i kinda notice that)

Love is Courage. Be Brave.

great advice thanks

There are many places in the world where interracial marriage is hardly even thought of as "different" anymore. It sounds like you don't live in one of those places, which is really too bad. I can imagine the looks must be disturbing, and you might wonder if things could progress to more than just looks. But I can assure you that there are plenty of places where you'd be perfectly welcome.

Hang in there!

Caro

errrr not i m actually not struggling, i only post this is just for you TAM guys/girls to put their opinions and their experience in this thread

thanks anyway the creeps had decline dramatically over the last decade anyway (quite an achievement from being of the racist to one of the most multicultural within four decades must be education i guess :lol

 

[RandomDude]

As the title mentioned, i'm just really interested your view on this small but a growing trend.

I'm a chinese had a LTR (later "married") to an australian wife. Really rare in accordance to statistics (only 2%!)(Interracial marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

I'm Asian as well and my STBX is a blonde, but we were both born Australians and my wife isn't exactly "white", she's a "mutt", but sure as hell doesn't look like one. We've married for 4 years.

I notice that people were actually staring at us when we were holding hands or kissing and etc. That just give me the creeps on why people are still racially sensitive on racial-relationship. (not saying ****e to anyone but it gradually improves during the 7 years we were together)

For 3 years of my marriage I've rejected public affection due to this in addition to "White Australia"/"One Nation" groups and rumors of local gangs. We also live in ******* central. But I've noticed the more multi-cultural an area is, the less racially sensitive they are. My wife and I also used to be exhibitionist in the city, it triggers much less insecurity amongst the majority when the majority are already 'used to it'. More majority-centric areas however, you can't really expect much, and many complain that Sydney is now full of "----s" etc etc.

One thing that makes people reluctant for a interracial relationships are parental pressure to marry to the same "race" or thinking that he/she should not deserve it and etc

I had more then parental pressures, unlike your people, my people don't have the luxury of a large population. We've been genocided twice and many of us have scattered across the world trying to escape poverty in our motherland. Intermixing is considered betraying our own race to self-genocide, and they are right, we can't afford to intermix. And we don't consider other Asians part of our race due to our unique culture and genes.

I'm guessing you can figure out my ancestry by now, my people have always had problems with yours! Your ancestors even built a huge freakin wall to keep us out lol

What do you think on interracial marriage and can it be maintained despite cultural differences? Also what are the other challenges in having a interracial relationship/marriage.

Just wanna here your views thanks

You can ask me all you like, I've lived it all my life, my first was European, second was Aboriginal, third Irish, before I even had experiences with "women of my own race" who are Asian. I've always been given sh-t for my second girlfriend though, the majority in Australia are still very ignorant but not all are exactly racist. It just takes time for folk to adjust.

 

[RandomDude]

Love is Courage. Be Brave.

Oh mate, it ain't always as easy as that. As a husband you have to take responsibility for the safety of your family. Alone I don't care, but when you're walking down the street with your wife and child and bogans drive by throwing beer bottles at you - you tend to realise it's best to keep a low profile.

Not to mention it's not about courage most of the time, it's restraint. I already have a criminal record and one more assault could land my ass back in jail. The courts favor the "victim" as always.

thanks anyway the creeps had decline dramatically over the last decade anyway (quite an achievement from being of the racist to one of the most multicultural within four decades must be education i guess

Yes it has changed, and it's getting better and better. My daughter can be proud of four ancestries, and I'm glad that new generations are much better than the old.