Damn!Last night I told her we’re going to take a break, we’re not together right now, I’m going to focus on myself while she sees if this man will leave his wife before this month is over. At the end of the month if he doesn’t leave his wife and I decide to get back with her then we’re going to try and make this work for the next 10 months and give it until are lease ends on this apartment, it’s the least we can do for these kids and our own peace of mind, she’ll see what im truly capable of and if she still doesn’t fall back in love with me than we can happily go our own ways.
I can’t go on without knowing if we can truly work while I never got to really put her on the pedestal she’s always deserved or how I should’ve acted from the beginning. I’ve always been immature and just didn’t take the blessings that came into my life seriously...this pain and whole situation has truly opened my eyes, and made me better. You guys don’t know how ****ty to her I would be sometimes, when I thought she was talking to much I would give her that vibe that I wanted her to be quiet, or I would focus more on playing the game or my phone than giving her the attention she was waiting for or express my feeling or communicate better, I just wouldn’t surprise her for no reason or notice little things or would always forget to do something, she would tell me all these things and I would do it for a little bit then go back to my old ways, I didn’t take time to truly reflect on my behavior and bad habits to change it.
She’s really is a good girl, just made a mistake, this isn’t who she is. We were once crazy in love, I should’ve married her 4 years ago but didn’t bc I was afraid of commitment but I messed it up by pushing her away by not doing the simple things she asked of me, each time I did that it made her build a wall higher and higher. I know that love is still there...I know he’s not going to leave his wife, and maybe if he does they will go on and do there own thing, and I will go my way and look for someone to never make them feel like I made her feel and find someone truly loyal. It’s all really hard..
I told her that I can’t just sit her and allow her to use me while she picks at the end of the month, she told me she’s given me so many chances to change, she’s stayed with me bc she was thinking about my feelings, the least I can do for her is this, but I told her that makes me weak for hoping he leaves his wife so we have a chance.
So we’re on a break, I’m starting to accept the reality that we’re eventually going to break up, both of our names is on this lease so I can’t just kick her out, that’s why I said if we’re going to both be here anyways why not try and do everything we can to make it work one last time. And if it doesn’t by the end of 10 months then it’ll be easier to move on bc I’ll know it wasn’t meant to be.
Maybe that makes me weak if after this month I gave her another chance to be loyal and get her to fall back in love with me by showing her what I’m truly capable of but i don’t really care.. I deeply love her and we’re best friends, when we’re good I know there’s no other person who can make her laugh or get along with her as well as we do. I know this is a crazy love story but what if we got through it and never looked back? What if this made us stronger than ever?
I’m not saying I’m going to sit her a wait on what he’s going to do, but if it doesn’t work out, all I’m saying is I’m going to be here anyways, I’m not leaving my home with my kids, misewell try and see if we really are meant to be...
You have ceded control of everything to two people who have proven to be the lowest form of human life. You're letting the least trustworthy people in your life determine your fate. STAND UP and be accountable to yourself!!! Develop at least a little self respect, because right now you have NONE whatsoever.
She is not going to "fall back in love with you." You are truly delusional if you think there's any possibility of that. Let's get something very basic straight here. Once the other guy doesn't leave his wife and yours comes back to you, it doesn't mean she's fallen back in love with you. It means her plan A failed and she's settling for plan B.... that is not love. And she's proven that you can't even expect to be plan B for long... she'll do this again, both because you've proven you're not up to the task of walking away, and because that's who she is.