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Last night I told her we’re going to take a break, we’re not together right now, I’m going to focus on myself while she sees if this man will leave his wife before this month is over. At the end of the month if he doesn’t leave his wife and I decide to get back with her then we’re going to try and make this work for the next 10 months and give it until are lease ends on this apartment, it’s the least we can do for these kids and our own peace of mind, she’ll see what im truly capable of and if she still doesn’t fall back in love with me than we can happily go our own ways.
I can’t go on without knowing if we can truly work while I never got to really put her on the pedestal she’s always deserved or how I should’ve acted from the beginning. I’ve always been immature and just didn’t take the blessings that came into my life seriously...this pain and whole situation has truly opened my eyes, and made me better. You guys don’t know how ****ty to her I would be sometimes, when I thought she was talking to much I would give her that vibe that I wanted her to be quiet, or I would focus more on playing the game or my phone than giving her the attention she was waiting for or express my feeling or communicate better, I just wouldn’t surprise her for no reason or notice little things or would always forget to do something, she would tell me all these things and I would do it for a little bit then go back to my old ways, I didn’t take time to truly reflect on my behavior and bad habits to change it.
She’s really is a good girl, just made a mistake, this isn’t who she is. We were once crazy in love, I should’ve married her 4 years ago but didn’t bc I was afraid of commitment but I messed it up by pushing her away by not doing the simple things she asked of me, each time I did that it made her build a wall higher and higher. I know that love is still there...I know he’s not going to leave his wife, and maybe if he does they will go on and do there own thing, and I will go my way and look for someone to never make them feel like I made her feel and find someone truly loyal. It’s all really hard..
I told her that I can’t just sit her and allow her to use me while she picks at the end of the month, she told me she’s given me so many chances to change, she’s stayed with me bc she was thinking about my feelings, the least I can do for her is this, but I told her that makes me weak for hoping he leaves his wife so we have a chance.
So we’re on a break, I’m starting to accept the reality that we’re eventually going to break up, both of our names is on this lease so I can’t just kick her out, that’s why I said if we’re going to both be here anyways why not try and do everything we can to make it work one last time. And if it doesn’t by the end of 10 months then it’ll be easier to move on bc I’ll know it wasn’t meant to be.
Maybe that makes me weak if after this month I gave her another chance to be loyal and get her to fall back in love with me by showing her what I’m truly capable of but i don’t really care.. I deeply love her and we’re best friends, when we’re good I know there’s no other person who can make her laugh or get along with her as well as we do. I know this is a crazy love story but what if we got through it and never looked back? What if this made us stronger than ever?
I’m not saying I’m going to sit her a wait on what he’s going to do, but if it doesn’t work out, all I’m saying is I’m going to be here anyways, I’m not leaving my home with my kids, misewell try and see if we really are meant to be...
Damn!

You have ceded control of everything to two people who have proven to be the lowest form of human life. You're letting the least trustworthy people in your life determine your fate. STAND UP and be accountable to yourself!!! Develop at least a little self respect, because right now you have NONE whatsoever.

She is not going to "fall back in love with you." You are truly delusional if you think there's any possibility of that. Let's get something very basic straight here. Once the other guy doesn't leave his wife and yours comes back to you, it doesn't mean she's fallen back in love with you. It means her plan A failed and she's settling for plan B.... that is not love. And she's proven that you can't even expect to be plan B for long... she'll do this again, both because you've proven you're not up to the task of walking away, and because that's who she is.
 

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I didn’t, I told her I’m not going to sit her and let her do that to me
Cut and run bro. Cut and run. You really don't need this crap. Oh, before you do. Pack her things and drop them off at the dealership. Right on the OM sales desk. Then drop her right behind her things. Tell OM good luck. Hope his W is agreeable to the new living arrangements.

Don't be a tool bag.
 

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Last night I told her we’re going to take a break, we’re not together right now, I’m going to focus on myself while she sees if this man will leave his wife before this month is over. At the end of the month if he doesn’t leave his wife and I decide to get back with her then we’re going to try and make this work for the next 10 months and give it until are lease ends on this apartment, it’s the least we can do for these kids and our own peace of mind, she’ll see what im truly capable of and if she still doesn’t fall back in love with me than we can happily go our own ways.
I can’t go on without knowing if we can truly work while I never got to really put her on the pedestal she’s always deserved or how I should’ve acted from the beginning. I’ve always been immature and just didn’t take the blessings that came into my life seriously...this pain and whole situation has truly opened my eyes, and made me better. You guys don’t know how ****ty to her I would be sometimes, when I thought she was talking to much I would give her that vibe that I wanted her to be quiet, or I would focus more on playing the game or my phone than giving her the attention she was waiting for or express my feeling or communicate better, I just wouldn’t surprise her for no reason or notice little things or would always forget to do something, she would tell me all these things and I would do it for a little bit then go back to my old ways, I didn’t take time to truly reflect on my behavior and bad habits to change it.
She’s really is a good girl, just made a mistake, this isn’t who she is. We were once crazy in love, I should’ve married her 4 years ago but didn’t bc I was afraid of commitment but I messed it up by pushing her away by not doing the simple things she asked of me, each time I did that it made her build a wall higher and higher. I know that love is still there...I know he’s not going to leave his wife, and maybe if he does they will go on and do there own thing, and I will go my way and look for someone to never make them feel like I made her feel and find someone truly loyal. It’s all really hard..
I told her that I can’t just sit her and allow her to use me while she picks at the end of the month, she told me she’s given me so many chances to change, she’s stayed with me bc she was thinking about my feelings, the least I can do for her is this, but I told her that makes me weak for hoping he leaves his wife so we have a chance.
So we’re on a break, I’m starting to accept the reality that we’re eventually going to break up, both of our names is on this lease so I can’t just kick her out, that’s why I said if we’re going to both be here anyways why not try and do everything we can to make it work one last time. And if it doesn’t by the end of 10 months then it’ll be easier to move on bc I’ll know it wasn’t meant to be.
Maybe that makes me weak if after this month I gave her another chance to be loyal and get her to fall back in love with me by showing her what I’m truly capable of but i don’t really care.. I deeply love her and we’re best friends, when we’re good I know there’s no other person who can make her laugh or get along with her as well as we do. I know this is a crazy love story but what if we got through it and never looked back? What if this made us stronger than ever?
I’m not saying I’m going to sit her a wait on what he’s going to do, but if it doesn’t work out, all I’m saying is I’m going to be here anyways, I’m not leaving my home with my kids, misewell try and see if we really are meant to be...

This incredibly and unbearably weak. You are conceding the power to decide to these two specimens?

First of all, do you at the very least accept that they have been f***ing ? You cannot be so naive as to believe that a POS would stay interested for 9 months with nothing in return (they are not 12 yo schoolchildren). If you accept that they have been screwing, then why are you waiting to see who she picks. You need to dump her and get your ducks for custody etc in a row asap.
 

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Real Talk.

You made mistakes, a large majority on this board have as well. One thing we all tend to agree on, even if we disagree on reconciliation or divorce, is not waiting or trying to fix things when an affair partner is still in the mix. Don’t wait. Honestly, go to the lease office and find out what you can do to break the lease. There can give you suggestions that may or may not negatively impact your credit. I went in to my apartment complex, explained the situation, they gave me a reasonable fee amount and I broke my lease. It never showed up on my credit report, but I didn’t care.

You need to go do you 100%. No, not like the weakness shown in your post, but like you love yourself as much as your girlfriend. I mean you, not “me for 30 days”, but “me to be a better man with or without her for the rest of my life.”

I waited for my ex-fiancé to make up her mind, she gave me probably a similar speech that you received. I say that because your self blame sounds like my thinking. It took me a year to realize “sure, I could be better,” but nope I wasn’t a Ogre neglecting his fiancé. Sure I was immature at times, I forgot things as well, but I worked my ass off to provide for a stay at home mom.

If not being perfect is the case for cheating, then I should have divorced my wife or had a hall pass to cheat when she forgot our actual anniversary date.......... A year after we were married.


I was called a cheater because I didn’t wait for my ex to decide when it was over. Nope, forget that BS. It took me two times catching her on double dates to realize the level of disrespect. Guess what, I didn’t even throw it in her face when we officially by her decree broke up. I was done. Like you, I guilted myself into staying because I wanted my daughter to have a mother and father.

Weird that she still had a mother and father, she just ended up with 2 moms. Life still turned out pretty damn good. I could convincingly argue I came out better, but that would be very petty on my part.
 

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I didn’t, I told her I’m not going to sit her and let her do that to me
Exactly. You merely TOLD her. But you didn't ACT! You didn't go through with what you meant!

You're still there.

She's still doing it to you.
 
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