yesterday i talked to my father about getting marriage. most of my life my father has always let my family and me down.
now that i discuss that i want to get married to my beau of 7 years in 2.5 years, my father thinks that he can have a saying and enforces that i do not get married because he thinks that i am too young; by then i will be 24.
i am very happy with my fiance and always look forward to our wedding day. however, as my father talked the more i had doubts about listening to him because everytime i listen to him his "advice" always steers me in the wrong direction.
i will marry my fiance despite my father and i know he will not honor me during my wedding day. yet i dont mind because all these years this is what i've come to expect from him.
my question is why do i feel so bad? each time my dad talks to me about anything in general it makes me feel like crap.
last night he gave me his example of when he married to my mom. he married her after i was 7 months old, the first child and for many months thought whether or not he was ready to be a husband and a father. finally, when my mom was about to leave him to go back to her country germany, then my father begs my mom not to leave and decides to settle. but my mom is not interested, but decides to stay thinking that a child needs both parents.
so a lot of the times i dont listen to my dad because of the decisions he makes are very poor.
i guess i just figured why i feel bad. because the way i feel degraded and not counted in his eyes. and mostly that he discounted the most important thing to me and that is my fiance. i just needed to vent.