Damn @sunsetmist, we've got 3 dollar words flying all around this thread! I very much appreciate your input. As to your 'no reply needed' I strongly suspect that she has an extraordinarily high and extreme defensive reflex. As indicated, none of her previous 3 marriages went over 14 months. I confidently perhaps arrogantly deemed that I had the relationship tools to navigate those waters and make her feel safe, secure, and cherished. And I did ... perhaps too well based upon some of her stated reasons for feeling 'smothered'. I can't account for why she felt like she was the root of my happiness other than the fact that after 3 years together, we were already in uncharted relationship waters in terms of her experience.