[naterrell21]

Hello everyone, I'm new to being cheated on so I thought I'd seek the help of others to try and make sense of it all. I've been with my gf for over 2 years now and recently found out that over a 3 month period (Jan-Mar 2021) while I was away, my gf slept with at least 6 different men, all of them past lovers, bf's etc, some in our apartment some in hotels others at their places and I am at a complete loss as what to do or can I do? She also informed me of another time about 6 months into our relationship where she had slept with an ex I suppose for drugs as he is a drug dealer user. I learned all of this after I confronted her with some information I was told, as well as a mountain of evidence I was able to collect. We have spoken about this and at first she denied everything even going so far as to say if I didnt believe her to f*** *** and get out! She has since admitted to me the 6 guys but I suspect more which she is not being honest about. I love my gf to no end and had hoped to spend the rest of my life with her but now I feel like I dont even know her anymore. Sadly of course I just wanted to know what is wrong with me what did I do wrong? What? Who? Why? Oh man when does it stop? Anyways my friends that's my story in a brief, there's much more to it of course as each guy brings his own set of drug addict, drug dealing ways to the table and some even beat the crap out of her one breaking her jaw among other things while she was in a relationship with them. Just my luck eh? I hope to hear from you(s) with some sound advice because Im in over my head. Please if you have any questions ask away, I will answer them all. Something I say may help you understand something I don't to which you can let me in on. I can not express to you how grateful I will be to anyone who offers their time to help me and I thank you in advance from the bottom of my broken heart. Thanks everyone for having me. Noel

 

[Dictum Veritas]

There is nothing wrong with you save for even contemplating staying with someone who so clearly belongs to every man. No kids, not married. Have some self-respect and put her in your rear-view mirror, then never, ever look back.

Ghosting her is a no brainer and your only viable option to a brighter and better future. She's a serial cheater. They never stop. They don't have it in them to be faithful.

 

[Talker67]

lets say you did stay with her....
what would your coming life be...after she did another 12 or so guys this coming year?
How would you like having to use a condom with her, and no oral sex, and even being concerned about kissing her, for fear of catching some uncurable sexually transmitted disease?

face it, she is not a keeper.

I guess the only question....was your relationship with her clearly understood to be a monogamous one, and she cheated on you? Or was your relationship more casual, and monogamy was not expected?

 

[Chillidog]

Not fixable, move on

 

[jonty30]

Hello everyone, I'm new to being cheated on so I thought I'd seek the help of others to try and make sense of it all. I've been with my gf for over 2 years now and recently found out that over a 3 month period (Jan-Mar 2021) while I was away, my gf slept with at least 6 different men, all of them past lovers, bf's etc, some in our apartment some in hotels others at their places and I am at a complete loss as what to do or can I do? She also informed me of another time about 6 months into our relationship where she had slept with an ex I suppose for drugs as he is a drug dealer user. I learned all of this after I confronted her with some information I was told, as well as a mountain of evidence I was able to collect. We have spoken about this and at first she denied everything even going so far as to say if I didnt believe her to f*** *** and get out! She has since admitted to me the 6 guys but I suspect more which she is not being honest about. I love my gf to no end and had hoped to spend the rest of my life with her but now I feel like I dont even know her anymore. Sadly of course I just wanted to know what is wrong with me what did I do wrong? What? Who? Why? Oh man when does it stop? Anyways my friends that's my story in a brief, there's much more to it of course as each guy brings his own set of drug addict, drug dealing ways to the table and some even beat the crap out of her one breaking her jaw among other things while she was in a relationship with them. Just my luck eh? I hope to hear from you(s) with some sound advice because Im in over my head. Please if you have any questions ask away, I will answer them all. Something I say may help you understand something I don't to which you can let me in on. I can not express to you how grateful I will be to anyone who offers their time to help me and I thank you in advance from the bottom of my broken heart. Thanks everyone for having me. Noel

If you could have rescued her, you would have by now.
You either lack the skills or she doesn't want to be rescued from her situation.
She has relied upon guys like you to cushion the consequences and it has only caused her to fall farther than she might have, if the consequences had hit her hard in the beginning.
Either way, you're really in the way of her eventually seeking help for herself because you're preventing the full weight of the consequences to fall upon her and cause her to seek help from qualified professionals.
If you and her have this dynamic long enough, it could result in her death.

 

[ShatteredKat]

Why do you have two threads on this subject?

 

[GaLaxya]

Wow. The solution is you leaving. Nothing else.
Your issue isn't infidelity. She isn't capable of having a functioning relationship.

It all makes sense, but you might be too young to know why.
It might take you ages to fully understand, but be assured it does and there is nothing you can do.

She is most likely the victim of sexual abuse when she was younger. Ask her, if she hasn't told you, if you want. I am pretty sure what the answer will be.
Maybe it was someone close to her.
She definetly hasn't had a healthy environment to grow up in and has serious boundary issues.

Therefore, to her abuse equals love. She will always return or seek people that abuse her.

If she was a victim of rape in early years, her brain is wired to abuse her own body in order to get attention, drugs or money from men or women, depends on who abused her. For her she thinks she is in control, if she offers men her body.

But later she feels sick about herself and has to drug herself to not being confronted with the pain she is causing to herself.
She either is already or is going to be a junkie and/or prostitute. At least this is how it sounds like from what I read between the lines.

For a women (or any one that gets penetrated in any way) being sexual with a men means being volnurable and giving up control. And healthy people only do this when they trust the other person.

A person that beats you up isn't some one you would trust as a healthy person. Don't you agree?
So, do you understand why she isn't healthy?

And you also don't trust so many person at once to allow them to 'invade' your body.

This is why womens sexuality differes from men.
Maybe it helps you to understand why a women that sleeps with so many guys in such a short time is far from healthy.

And no healthy guy would pick such a women. That is why she ends up with guys who are demaged and therefore abusive.

But the issue isn't her. It is you, because you want to be with this person.

What is wrong with you is the question.

Don't say you love her. You don't know her. Not after 2 years. You just learned that she isn't who you thought she is.
She will never be that person. Accept it and move on.
And no, you can't fix her. Such demage comes from abuse and neclect over several years. That can't be reversed by you. Even with therapy it is unlikely she will change completly.

Ask yourself what attracts you to such a broken and distructive person and you'll find a solution and next time a better partner.

I wonder where you did find her... she sounds like a women from the street . Wouldn't be an issuenif she was faithful. Bur she isn't. That is really sad and I hope you find some one better. You sound like a nice guy.

So, you have to change not her. Good luck!

 

[jparistotle]

Hello everyone, I'm new to being cheated on so I thought I'd seek the help of others to try and make sense of it all. I've been with my gf for over 2 years now and recently found out that over a 3 month period (Jan-Mar 2021) while I was away, my gf slept with at least 6 different men, all of them past lovers, bf's etc, some in our apartment some in hotels others at their places and I am at a complete loss as what to do or can I do? She also informed me of another time about 6 months into our relationship where she had slept with an ex I suppose for drugs as he is a drug dealer user. I learned all of this after I confronted her with some information I was told, as well as a mountain of evidence I was able to collect. We have spoken about this and at first she denied everything even going so far as to say if I didnt believe her to f*** *** and get out! She has since admitted to me the 6 guys but I suspect more which she is not being honest about. I love my gf to no end and had hoped to spend the rest of my life with her but now I feel like I dont even know her anymore. Sadly of course I just wanted to know what is wrong with me what did I do wrong? What? Who? Why? Oh man when does it stop? Anyways my friends that's my story in a brief, there's much more to it of course as each guy brings his own set of drug addict, drug dealing ways to the table and some even beat the crap out of her one breaking her jaw among other things while she was in a relationship with them. Just my luck eh? I hope to hear from you(s) with some sound advice because Im in over my head. Please if you have any questions ask away, I will answer them all. Something I say may help you understand something I don't to which you can let me in on. I can not express to you how grateful I will be to anyone who offers their time to help me and I thank you in advance from the bottom of my broken heart. Thanks everyone for having me. Noel

You already know what to do. You cannot fix her she is broken and badly. She can only fix herself. Move on and grow from this. That is what life is.

 

[GusPolinski]

Hello everyone, I'm new to being cheated on so I thought I'd seek the help of others to try and make sense of it all. I've been with my gf for over 2 years now and recently found out that over a 3 month period (Jan-Mar 2021) while I was away, my gf slept with at least 6 different men, all of them past lovers, bf's etc, some in our apartment some in hotels others at their places and I am at a complete loss as what to do or can I do? She also informed me of another time about 6 months into our relationship where she had slept with an ex I suppose for drugs as he is a drug dealer user. I learned all of this after I confronted her with some information I was told, as well as a mountain of evidence I was able to collect. We have spoken about this and at first she denied everything even going so far as to say if I didnt believe her to f*** *** and get out! She has since admitted to me the 6 guys but I suspect more which she is not being honest about. I love my gf to no end and had hoped to spend the rest of my life with her but now I feel like I dont even know her anymore. Sadly of course I just wanted to know what is wrong with me what did I do wrong? What? Who? Why? Oh man when does it stop? Anyways my friends that's my story in a brief, there's much more to it of course as each guy brings his own set of drug addict, drug dealing ways to the table and some even beat the crap out of her one breaking her jaw among other things while she was in a relationship with them. Just my luck eh? I hope to hear from you(s) with some sound advice because Im in over my head. Please if you have any questions ask away, I will answer them all. Something I say may help you understand something I don't to which you can let me in on. I can not express to you how grateful I will be to anyone who offers their time to help me and I thank you in advance from the bottom of my broken heart. Thanks everyone for having me. Noel

Girlfriend?

This is easy.

Dump her.

 

[Diana7]

I am really surprised that you even have to ask what you should do.
After only 2 years she has already cheated at least 7 times.
It's highly unlikely she will ever be a faithful partner. So either you end it or you accept that this is how it's going to be for good. If you ever have children they too will be bought into this mess.

There are lots of good women out there who will be a good wife and good role model for any children you may have. She isn't it.

 

[Openminded]

Serial cheater? No.

 

[Rob_1]

I just wanted to know what is wrong with me what did I do wrong? What? Who? Why?

What you need to know is that it doesn't matter the who, why, when, how many times, etc., etc., what it matters is that she did, period, not anything that you might have done. What it matters at this moment is why are you asking what to do when it should be obvious to you or anyone with a pinch of self respect and dignity that the answer as painful as it may be is to DTMFA. She should not even be in your rearview mirror anymore.

 

[skerzoid]

"I love my gf to no end....."

Uh, what is it you love about her; that she is a nympho or that she is a drug addict? Rare qualities.

 

[skerzoid]

Why do you have two threads on this subject?

New members tell their story and are then encouraged to tell it in the appropriate forum.

 

[pastasauce79]

There's nothing wrong with you. You deserve better. Move on.

 

[SRCSRC]

You are not married and your relationship is short in the scheme of things. She is a total trainwreck. If you value yourself, get the heck away from her ASAP. You will totally screw up your life if you stay with her. Direct her to seek help and tip-off her family that she is a mess and needs their help but YOU are not staying around. You did all that you can, now take care of yourself and go no contact with her forever.

 

[Tdbo]

Get out NOW, while you are still relatively unencumbered
Return her to her natural habitat, the streets.

 

[CrAzYdOgLaDy]

The only thing you will gain from this relationship is a lot of stds. You need to respect yourself more and walk away from this mess. 6 plus men while with you. It's probably more like double digits, 10, 20, 30 plus. I'd get myself checked for stds if I were you and block her from everything. Your decision though, how much are you willing to put up with?

 

[DownByTheRiver]

Hey, she's just your girlfriend. There really is no decision or course of action needed here other than to realize she's not your exclusive girlfriend, and since it sounds like that is a (rightly so) big issue for you, time to move on. You are not going to be okay just dating her knowing she's going to see other guys.

Just out of curiosity, did you have a talk where one or the other of you asked to be exclusive and the other agreed? If not, you had no commitment to begin with. Obviously, she is still shopping around, so you're not the one -- and she's obviously not the one for you. But I only ask the commitment question because some people assume if you're dating, it's exclusive, but that's no necessarily the case at all.

 

[Galabar01]

You need to get away from this person.