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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im confused. It was 33 days since my H seen or spoke to the kids. Last night at 6:30pm he knocks. I allow him in to see the kids. Why? I guess because I cant find my inner hate or anger to this man. Wtf? After everything! Really?! So he stays an hr-i didnt speak to him the entire time. When he gets ready to leave here comes my emotions. I took him in the kitchen and askd him why he never faught for us or me? Why did he just cheat and walk away? He said he lost his fight for me?! What does that mean I didnt cheat I didnt walk out. Why do I still want him after all his affairs and blatent disrespect? I need a kick in the ass!
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Mama..it would be helpful to keep all of your postings under one thread.
 
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In order to allow himself to cheat he had to justify it in his own mind. While he was cheating on you he was also lowering you in his own mind. Rewriting history, until finally he was able to tell himself he tried but there was nothing he could do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
New to TAM-how do I keep under 1 thread? Just keep posting on the same one?
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From wikipedia :

"The red pill and its opposite, the blue pill, are pop culture symbols representing the choice between the blissful ignorance of illusion (blue) and embracing the sometimes painful truth of reality (red).

The terms, popularized in science fiction culture, derive from the 1999 film The Matrix. In the movie, the main character Neo is offered the choice between a red pill and a blue pill. The blue pill would allow him to remain in the fabricated reality of the Matrix. The red pill would lead to his escape from the Matrix and into the "real world".
"
 

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Anyone have any blue pills to spare?
 

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Im confused. It was 33 days since my H seen or spoke to the kids. Last night at 6:30pm he knocks. I allow him in to see the kids. Why? I guess because I cant find my inner hate or anger to this man. Wtf? After everything! Really?! So he stays an hr-i didnt speak to him the entire time. When he gets ready to leave here comes my emotions. I took him in the kitchen and askd him why he never faught for us or me? Why did he just cheat and walk away? He said he lost his fight for me?! What does that mean I didnt cheat I didnt walk out. Why do I still want him after all his affairs and blatent disrespect? I need a kick in the ass!
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The fact he waits so long to see his own children should really tell you all you need to know.
 

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Why do I still want him after all his affairs and blatent disrespect? I need a kick in the ass!
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Consider it kicked!

Snap out of it!

Where's your self-respect and dignity?

What could you possibly want in a POS like him?

You are better than that.
 

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Im confused. It was 33 days since my H seen or spoke to the kids. Last night at 6:30pm he knocks. I allow him in to see the kids. Why? I guess because I cant find my inner hate or anger to this man. Wtf? After everything! Really?! So he stays an hr-i didnt speak to him the entire time. When he gets ready to leave here comes my emotions. I took him in the kitchen and askd him why he never faught for us or me? Why did he just cheat and walk away? He said he lost his fight for me?! What does that mean I didnt cheat I didnt walk out. Why do I still want him after all his affairs and blatent disrespect? I need a kick in the ass!
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The problem is you're in the BS fog. It's 33 days, what's the status of the divorce?? Why it's not filed yet?? You don't need hate or anger to file for divorce. If you're not important to him then he is not important to you. Don't react, get into the driver seat and start acting.
 

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Mama letting him into see the kids was the right thing to do. You need to keep doing the right things. Pick up the phone right now and get that D in motion. Have seen and IC yet? Lets make an appt. If yoiu need help finding one. You can call a local church they have lists of local IC's

Tell your STBXH to call next time he wants to see the kids.
 

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Yes always, always create an environment conducive to him having easy access to his kids (with a simple phone call and schedules permitting of course). What he does with that environment is up to him but at least you know you've done everything to help maintain the father-child relationships. Make it on him.

And yes, get some IC, file and move on. You deserve someone later on who will appreciate who you are!
 

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Im confused. It was 33 days since my H seen or spoke to the kids. Last night at 6:30pm he knocks. I allow him in to see the kids. Why? I guess because I cant find my inner hate or anger to this man. Wtf? After everything! Really?! So he stays an hr-i didnt speak to him the entire time. When he gets ready to leave here comes my emotions. I took him in the kitchen and askd him why he never faught for us or me? Why did he just cheat and walk away? He said he lost his fight for me?! What does that mean I didnt cheat I didnt walk out. Why do I still want him after all his affairs and blatent disrespect? I need a kick in the ass!
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Because you still love him. But he is not worthy of your love.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
As far as IC what do i tell them? Its much easier to talk about your life behind a screen. Im afraid of judgement. But i do feel like a royal dumbass!
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
So my H came and seen the kids again this evening. Things were ok for a little bit and then we got in a discussion which resulted in an argument and him blaming it bein over on me?! Im not perfect far from it and damn ive tried! I put my heart and soul into this man and he broke me. I had to leave the room-i couldnt hold back the tears any longer. He tells me I never wanted it to work and my attitude is ****ty? Well HELLO! Ive only bn lied 2 an cheated on for so long. I just dont know ugh! I want to scream I want to cry. This is so difficult. I look at him and I miss the man I married not this cold hearted son of a *****. He hugged the kids and left when I exited the room. My heart is broken.
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Sorry to hear about your lousy evening but try your best to understand that he has unfortunately changed ...... we all do. Sad to see that he hasn't changed for the better and he isn't that same man you fell in love with and married :( try your best to keep your chin up and move on.
 
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