[NatashaYurino]

I've read some threads here and I've noticed people talking about toxic friends and usually is the BS who is bringing the subject up.

I would like to know from the WSs here, althought anyone can give their POVs.

How did you handle your toxic friends? Did you happen to have guy/girl friends who seemed proud of you for cheating and were high-fiving you for it and/or encouraging you to do it again?

In case your BS gave you a second chance, did you have toxic friends who told you to just enjoy the fact you had a spouse, who in their eyes, was being "submissive" and therefore you should cheat again because they would take you back again?

Thanks!

 

[jmb123]

yes....I faced a similar situation;;;;;but I feel it is mainly the WS who takes the final call;;;perhaps they listen to toxic firends just fro validation for their own actions;;;;;;

And in reality they cane be no friends who are toxic;;;which real friend would misguide;;;
I had stuggled a lot and later realized that,my STBX is not a kid and whatever decisions he took was his own;;;;;and it was him who had venemous people around him as 'FRIENDS';;;;In my case i feel he poisoned everybody's else's mind so that he gets some pity from all;;;;;Creep;;

I really feel that hoevef toxic anyone is;they cannot pull one to do wrong;;if the WS was really inclined for a true reconciliation he would not be indulging with any toxic people and would have long removed from his list of friends;;;;If he still has the so called toxic friends that means he is not really into rue reconciliation;;;;;;You are better off without such a person;;
Good luck..

 

[Acabado]

If WS doesn't get rid of toxic influences on his/her own then it's obvious they are learning nothing. If they were they'd feel disgusted remaining friends with them.
This kind of tests is what proves how seriously they are taking things, whether they are doing some reflexion, self examination, in opposition of merely abiding the rules dished to them. Long lasting changes only happen when they are chosen, not forced upon you.
When is the BS who force them to cut ties, some reactive response, bargaining, is to expect but if they never reach the obvious conclusion it's proven they just doen't "get It".

It's simple, if they rejects cheating, those friendships wouldn't have any appeal anymore.

 

[TCSRedhead]

If you know that they support the cheating, then they have to go. I lost a few friends and to be honest, I don't miss them as much as I thought I would.

Think of it this way, if you had a rotted tooth in your mouth, would you leave it there 'because it's been there for your whole life' or would you remove it because it's healthier?

A true friend would not let you sabotage your marriage, even if you were struggling. They would point you to counseling and divorce if the issues couldn't be resolved.

 

[Unsure in Seattle]

My SO got rid of her very toxic and somewhat enabling friend without my prompting, which was good, I suppose. She is a gal who doesn't make a lot of friends, and even fewer female friends, so I felt like I couldn't make that "drop her or lose me" demand. I'm glad she came to that decision on her own.


My suspicion is that her friend had a bit of a crush on her, or some sort of designs' but I don't know for sure.

Red's tooth analogy is very apt.