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And he still won't come clean! Amazing! Told me the poly was wrong, he told the truth. :rolleyes:

Failed on if he had intercourse with anyone.
Failed on if he had sexual contact with %&*$ more than once.
(I had been told it was a ONS BJ. And he never saw her again. This past week I discovered he knew her and had contacted her five years after the fact he was coming into town.)
Inconclusive if he has had any sexual contact with anyone that I don't know about.

Nine years of lies, a year of trickle truth. I'm done.

Seventeen years of marriage down the drain, a 14 and 11 year old whose hearts will be broken. Amazing what he threw away for sex. (She was 20 BTW.)

Thanks for robbing me half my life!
 

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And he still won't come clean! Amazing! Told me the poly was wrong, he told the truth. :rolleyes:

Failed on if he had intercourse with anyone.
Failed on if he had sexual contact with %&*$ more than once.
(I had been told it was a ONS BJ. And he never saw her again. This past week I discovered he knew her and had contacted her five years after the fact he was coming into town.)
Inconclusive if he has had any sexual contact with anyone that I don't know about.

Nine years of lies, a year of trickle truth. I'm done.

Seventeen years of marriage down the drain, a 14 and 11 year old whose hearts will be broken. Amazing what he threw away for sex. (She was 20 BTW.)

Thanks for robbing me half my life!
walk away with your head up high start working on yourself and take care of your children as for yr ex i wouldnt bother to give them the time of day
 

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This is a time for you to focus on yourself. Take care of your kids. I hope you have started IC you will need it. I am sorry I do not know your story but I know this all feels like the world has come down on you.

As you may already know the not eating, sleeping and anger will hit you. That is why that taking care of yourself is so important so you can take care of those kids.
 

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I am not surprised, really.

You have done everything and MORE that you should have. Now you have the closure you need. Move on, rant and rave for a few days but then forget about the POS cheating liar. He is NOT worth your energy. Put your energy into you and your kids, NOT him.
 

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Will you get real, please? Have you read her backstory?? He is LYING. He's been lying for YEARS.
I didn't read the backstory.

All I'm saying is that polygraphs aren't always accurate.

Nothing more.

Edited to add, if he's been lying for years, and she knows it, what's the point of a polygraph?
 

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I'm going to be honest here, I didn't read the back story but polographs are not 100% accurate I'm not saying he is free and clear but if he has a serious history of lying and not telling the truth to be frank you wasted your money. But at least you have something a little more concrete in your corner. Trust and communicatoin is the foundation in any relationship, without out that it won't survive. It doesn not matter if you have caught him red handed or not if you feel that you can't trust him and something is not right that is enough to leave.

You don't trust him, and you will not have peace because your going to be stuck in this cycle of looking for something and snooping around to find that AH HA moment I caught you! Then what? The end result might as well be the same if you did catch him and you were going to leave. If you were going to leave. Constant liars and cheaters will give back what you put in, you have put with it for so long he more than likely thinks at this point that you won't leave and he has gotten away with it he can talk his way out of it.

It's like a friend told me once the best advice I ever got, only you will know when you had enough, you will know when you had enough or not, it is up to you, you don't have to wait around anymore. You can make a choice it is not easy it is hard. I'm rooting for you. Best wishes.

-K
 

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hb, I am sorry he strung you out for such a long time.

I will be honest, I wanted to believe the onetime BJ story, but the HPV just never fit. I don't care what they say, I refuse to believe there's a person on the planet who caught HPV based on his version of events.

Trust your gut now and stop listening to the filth he spews. I don't see one bit of evidence to suggest he DIDN'T have multiple partners. He had a good cake-eating sitch going and that is the bottom line. He will protect it to the bitter end. I'm sorry he is such a selfish person.
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I don't get the point of the polygraph or how it's closure.

He's been lying for years, he's a repeat cheater, the polygraph didn't tell you anything you didn't already know and neither did he.
 

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. But PLEASE don't let this guy rob you of the next half of your life.

These guys never cop to it. It doesn't matter what you have on him, or how you ask it -- he's not going to take responsibility and own it.

You just have to trust in yourself and step out on faith.

It really is better on the other side of this kind of madness. You're welcome to come read over on my blog Chump Lady -- it's about cake eating liars and life on the other side of them. It's a special kind of effed up, that kind of deep deceit.

It's okay to lay this down and take care of yourself. The pain is finite. You'll be okay and the kids will be okay in time. (((Hugs)))
 

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How horribly painful to be put through this for a year. I've very sorry you've gone through so much. The continued lying on his part was all about his over the top selfishness. He didn't want to upset his life so he cheated you out of your choices.

Now, you have the truth or at least some semblance of it.

I hope the next part of your life will be wonderful.

And I'm so sorry he's such a jerk. But know even if R, you still feel like you've been robbed. That's the sad part. No matter what happens -R or D, they've taken something from us.
 

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And what was the reason why polygraphs aren't accepted by any court of law?

Oh, yes. They aren't accurate...

Mind you, you must have a pretty good idea yourself of what he has done, besides what he owned up to.

My best wishes to you and your children.
 

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Sorry. Big sorry.

Cheaters lie. And they avoid poly. When poly proves lies, they dont believe.

Dont believe him. I know how bad you feel, Sorry.

God give you strength.

Need I say, "Take care"?
 

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One of the hard things about getting to the end of a long relationship is to let go.
As much as you try you will almost certainly be sucked back in. You trusted and loved this man for so long it is not that easy to let go. A few things that helped me.

Whatever he says is only his opinion. You don't have to take it on board. Read that again:p

This next bit seems counter intuitive, but for me. was liberating.

As you have felt more and more attacked by his lies and deceptions you will have protected yourself emotionally, been ready for the next lie and the next hurtful comment. Sealed up the access points if you like.

Try relaxing, using open body language and listen but in a detached way. You may be surprised how powerful you feel.
 

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Regardless if poly's are accurate or not, you already knew in your heart and soul what you believed, on some level...And you've been just lingering in this land of "not knowing what to believe"...Now that you have what you need, you can plan the next step with more confidence.
As others have said here, no matter what path you choose, take care of yourself and those kids - the marriage wasn't a total loss, you are so lucky to have them.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

He's the one that will suffer the most in the end.
 
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