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This was interesting. Glad not everyone just assumes women are Codependent in toxic relationships.
Are women who live with abusive partners codependent?
Are women who live with abusive partners codependent?
I want to say this in a way that will not be construed as mean-spirited or judgemental. However, that is difficult to do.I'm just trying to see how they decide the difference between an abused person (who is not codependent) and a Codependent?
I think most of us are codependent to some degree. Our society has fueled it. Some of us are a little codependent and others are so much so that they will yes allow any kind of abuse.I'm just trying to see how they decide the difference between an abused person (who is not codependent) and a Codependent?
Do they just assume if your abused, you must be Codependent?
If you have been in more than one toxic relationship, does that automatically define you?
:iagree:I agree with Kathy. Codependency is a dysfunctional repetitive behavior. The author, while conceding that the abused women exhibit such behavior, argues unconvincingly that it isn't "codependency" because of how they acquired it: from years of abuse by their angry husbands.People who continually and repetitively engage in unhealthy dynamics when they could choose not to are codependent. Period.
I'm trying to figure out why you need a label for bad behavior. Not everyone who cheats or abuses is probably in the DSM-IV.Another question would be,,,
If most/all BS's/abuse victims are basically Codependent, what are all abusers/ cheaters?
Would they all fall into narcissists,or at least some other personality disorder?
And, clearly CoDA is behaving in a codependent manner by trying to appease its own members, right? I did not realize CoDA was a political organization. Does it align itself with particular parties or candidates?Clearly, CoDA is a political organization that, in order to appease the many thousands of separate member groups it relies on for funding, has obediently included all views and suggestions.
Prodigal, sorry I wasn't clearer about that. I didn't mean "political" in the sense of government politics. Rather, I was referring to the strong politics going on inside any large nonprofit organization, especially one dependent on member funding. Even the APA (American Psychiatric Association) is vulnerable to its own internal politics, as the various factions fight tooth and nail over the categories and organization of the new DSM-5.I did not realize CoDA was a political organization. Does it align itself with particular parties or candidates?
The labels are important in order to understand what it is you were dealing with. Even if you intend to walk away, such an understanding can be valuable because you may be at risk of leaving one person only to run into the arms of another just like him -- if you don't know the red flags to look for.I'm trying to figure out why you need a label for bad behavior. Not everyone who cheats or abuses is probably in the DSM-IV.
I'm trying to figure out why you need a label for bad behavior. Not everyone who cheats or abuses is probably in the DSM-IV.
Do you hope to find closure by putting a label on bad behavior?
Well, before modern psychiatry and the DSM, I suppose someone who exhibited bad behavior was just labeled a mean S.O.B. or evil.No, I'm not looking for closure, yet what makes a person show a pattern of bad behavior, if it's not a disorder?
Thank you for clarifying. I worked for a non-profit; I know what you mean.I didn't mean "political" in the sense of government politics. Rather, I was referring to the strong politics going on inside any large nonprofit organization, especially one dependent on member funding. Even the APA (American Psychiatric Association) is vulnerable to its own internal politics, as the various factions fight tooth and nail over the categories and organization of the new DSM-5.
I really do appreciate you explaining to me how a diagnosis made a difference in helping you to make sense of your situation. Refreshing to get a non-defensive, honest response to my statements. Thank you!To a man like me who had been living with a BPDer wife for 15 years, this story produces that light-bulb moment when the clouds part, the sun shines, and the chaotic years of bewilderment suddenly make total sense. It explains how all the pieces fit together. Instead of seeing only leaves, for the first time I could see the tree.
Was I defensive or lying? I thought I was only asking opinions and different views on this subject... I mostly questioned because I have had one counselor tell me I was a Codie, and then another say I'm not.I really do appreciate you explaining to me how a diagnosis made a difference in helping you to make sense of your situation. Refreshing to get a non-defensive, honest response to my statements. Thank you!
I found the article very strange to say the least. And the responses to it. I would classify the author (and those who responded to it) as having victim personalities.This was interesting. Glad not everyone just assumes women are Codependent in toxic relationships.
Are women who live with abusive partners codependent?