Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 25 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
232 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ever consider getting married again?

I initially was optimistic and said I would but as time goes by I just don't think I could ever do it again. In all of my long-term relationships (marriage included) I have fallen in love with someone to only much later realize that they are not who I thought they were. Like I fell in love with an ideal image of who that person could be, not who they really were.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
Highly, highly doubtful especially as I don't want more children, but wouldn't rule it out if the right person & situation came along. I would proceed with major caution this time, though, in any type of relationship and it would have to be [email protected] near rock solid for marriage to be considered.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8 Posts
In a heartbeat! I love the man I am currently with and cannot wait to have children and a family with him. I did not want any of that with my XH so that's just one other indication that I am with the right man for me. You only live once, if you fall in love and want to marry again you should not let anything that has happened in your past hinder you from creating your future!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,291 Posts
Yes I would. I enjoyed being married for the most part with the ex, we were together for 17+ years. I am a funny woman, love my independence and freedom but I also enjoy the boundaries of marriage.

Ex and I we great together, we are still friends and I care for him greatly. We were not a great match though, we could have stayed married forever but I would never have been fulfilled so ended it.
I don't have regrets from that part of my life and I have the most amazing children to show for it.

I would marry my current partner, I think we are a fantastic match. Life is more complicated now though so I won't consider marriage until we have been together for 5 or so years.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,329 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,185 Posts
Perhaps, but there would have to be serious differences in commitment and respect of the "thing" we were trying to do, and I just dont see that in anyone these days.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,308 Posts
Ever consider getting married again?

I initially was optimistic and said I would but as time goes by I just don't think I could ever do it again. In all of my long-term relationships (marriage included) I have fallen in love with someone to only much later realize that they are not who I thought they were. Like I fell in love with an ideal image of who that person could be, not who they really were.
How long did it take to "fall in love" and how long did it take for you to realize they weren't who you thought they were?

You don't really even start knowing a person until 2 years of relationship. That's about how long it takes for chemicals to wear off and masks to come off. If you "fall in love" before that time you are confusing love with infatuation. Love is not that giddy feeling you feel when you're around someone, those are chemicals your body gives off. Love is when you know all the bullcrap about someone and choose to serve and care for them anyway. That can't happen when you still have the masks on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
243 Posts
I would need to move very slowly for that to happen. I am finishing a degree, love my job and reconnected with lots of people in my life, so pretty busy and loving it. I don't have a lot of room for a single person in my life right now, of course that could be because there is no special person! I would love to have the "til death do us part" feeling again. I am lonely and missing the partnership and the anticipation of the future with someone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,365 Posts
Yes. I realized I was not ever in love with XH or anyone, I guess, really. I enjoyed being married - just the wrong guy. I would take it much slower and more cautiously for sure... I like the 2-5 year rule. But I can't see myself never being married again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
624 Posts
Yes, but it will take time. I want to get married and have children. However, I have definitely considered adopting as a single parent once I get my life back on track. And then if the right guy comes along, that's great!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,986 Posts
Yes, I would.

I enjoyed being married and could again. But it is really just a piece of paper if the commitment is already there. I wouldn't be against simply co-habitating either. Or not. Who knows.

I do not know what will happen.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,256 Posts
Ever consider getting married again?
I might consider it, but I would most likely decide 'NO'.

Don't see the point; I'm not having any more kids.

I like A LOT of private time to myself.

I'd rather not even shack-up; I'd rather we lived NEAR each other and visited back and forth. At this point I cannot see wanting to share my living space with another adult permanently, not enough up-side. I can get the bennies by visiting his place or vice versa. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
210 Posts
Marriage again? I think some reluctance comes from the fact society truly doesn't hold marriage sacred at all anymore its become disposable.I remember growing up going to church with my grandparents and being out here in rural Minnesota-never heard of divorce-that was something that happened in town.Nowadays I get invited to a wedding and I have a hard time attaching much importance to it because statistically yeah its only got a fifty percent chance.I will be very cautious if the opportunity ever presents itself again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,986 Posts
The ending of a relationship can be extremely hard and devastating, marriage or no.

Many here have mentioned they would not marry again because they won't have more children? Why is it about creating children? Many marriages do not result in children.

I don't see the ending of my marriage as any reason I should not get married again. And I cannot have any more children.

Maybe I see things differently because I did not have a high conflict divorce (legally speaking). The impact on finances, etc was minimal. To me the most devastating parts of it were betrayal and rejection (which can happen in any type of relationship) and the effects on my daughter.

So if the next one did not involve creating more children, it seems it would be easier to decide to do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,329 Posts
I like A LOT of private time to myself.

I'd rather not even shack-up; I'd rather we lived NEAR each other and visited back and forth. At this point I cannot see wanting to share my living space with another adult permanently, not enough up-side. I can get the bennies by visiting his place or vice versa. :)
:iagree: I could've written this.
 
1 - 20 of 25 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top