[Longtime Hubby]

LoL!

Go find my post where I called OP a bad person and I'll continue a conversation with you.

Until then.....

sheesh, Conan, thought barbarians were thick skinned. Never said you claimed she was a bad person. It’s more of a summary of all those ripping her. Chill, bro, it’s all good.

 

[ConanHub]

sheesh, Conan, thought barbarians were thick skinned. Never said you claimed she was a bad person. It’s more of a summary of all those ripping her. Chill, bro, it’s all good.

I'm chill. I was grinning at your insertion of a term I never used.

I'm good with a conversation about what I have said though.

I'm not going to defend something I didn't say.😉

 

[Longtime Hubby]

Indidntbs

LoL!

Go find my post where I called OP a bad person and I'll continue a conversation with you.

Until then.....

sheesh, Conan, thought barbarians were thick skinned. Never said you claimed she was a bad person. It’s more of a summary of all those ripping her. Chill, bro, it’s all good

I'm chill. I was grinning at your insertion of a term I never used.

I'm good with a conversation about what I have said though.

I'm not going to defend something I didn't say.😉
[/QUO

okay gotcha i apolo

I'm chill. I was grinning at your insertion of a term I never used.

I'm good with a conversation about what I have said though.

I'm not going to defend something I didn't say.😉

okay I apologize. Usually that means I have to buy over-priced roses now. fave color?

 

[oldshirt]

I think it is unfair to hold me to relationship standards when we barely knew each other. I can not count the number of women he has had sex with. We are seeing this differently fundamentally. I would never go through his old phones because I know it is just going to hurt me. Everyone I have talked to about this is telling me to leave. I want us to focus on our marriage, future, and our kid. I think this Is a little bit ridiculous. Also, I am sure he was having sex with someone before our first date maybe not after i don’t know.

Klee's husband was not dating others and not aware she had sex with her ex after starting to date him and he was not ok with it.

According to her, he was very promiscuous and he WAS getting with other chicks when they were first starting to see each other.

She has also stated that he has always had an issue that she had been with 2 prior guys before him.

So he is one of these guys that bangs lots of chicks himself but can’t handle the fact that she has been with another before him.

That is also a common trait among abusers.

 

[BigDaddyNY]

According to her, he was very promiscuous and he WAS getting with other chicks when they were first starting to see each other.

She has also stated that he has always had an issue that she had been with 2 prior guys before him.

So he is one of these guys that bangs lots of chicks himself but can’t handle the fact that she has been with another before him.

That is also a common trait among abusers.

You are off the mark a little.

She did not say he was getting with chicks after they had their first date. She said she sure he was having sex with someone prior to dating, but didn't know if he has been with any after their date.

She never said he had an issue with her first sexual partner, only the one before him. I asked her that specifically.

 

[Openminded]

So what’s going on currently?

 

[ConanHub]

According to her, he was very promiscuous and he WAS getting with other chicks when they were first starting to see each other.

She has also stated that he has always had an issue that she had been with 2 prior guys before him.

So he is one of these guys that bangs lots of chicks himself but can’t handle the fact that she has been with another before him.

That is also a common trait among abusers.

Also, I am sure he was having sex with someone before our first date maybe not after i don’t know.
[/QUOTE]
I probably screwed the quotes up but it's pure speculation that he was behaving like her and having sex while dating her.

OP doesn't feel abused and I don't see that he has anything other than a temper control problem.

My son and I both have bad tempers and we have both destroyed perfectly innocent furniture by smacking it too hard.

Our ladies would not classify us as abusive at all.

We curbed our behavior and as long as Klee's husband can, they should be able to succeed.

They've had 6-7 heated arguments and I will bet my hat she wasn't whispering either during them.

He has occasionally thrown things but never harmed her or their baby.

This last fit was a doozy and he is absolutely the priority when it comes to getting this marriage healthy.

Mrs. C isn't strong enough to break furniture if she isn't careful, nor is my daughter in law but both of them can have blades for tongues and both have very high spirit when they are worked up.

The husband in this situation absolutely needs help in dealing with negative emotions.

If he won't get help and continues throwing things when he feels jealousy then Klee might need to weigh different options.

They are only married a year though so there's time to fix it and could be a bump they overcome.

If they were ten years in and this was chronic, terrorizing their kid/s in the process, I would advise her to get the papers ready to serve and give him an ultimatum.

 

[oldshirt]

You are off the mark a little.

She did not say he was getting with chicks after they had their first date. She said she sure he was having sex with someone prior to dating, but didn't know if he has been with any after their date.

She never said he had an issue with her first sexual partner, only the one before him. I asked her that specifically.

I’m not going to go digging through all the pages of posts. But I believe her state was something like, “he has always had an issue that I even have an ex.”

I’m paraphrasing and it’s likely semantics but I am taking that as he would have an issue with ANY ex.

This one in question just happens to be the most recent and the one she was still in contact with when they started dating.

if he hadn’t ever come along, it’s not a giant leap to assume he would have then had an issue with the first one instead.

And she said she thought he was hooking up but didn’t ask and didn’t go digging (which does make sense and she is probably telling the truth on that because if she was to ask and go digging into who he was seeing, then he would have dug more into her continuing relationship with her ex)

 

[MegaTbone]

We have gotten into bad screaming matches. He has thrown stuff, things like that just never at this scale. It was always about something stupid.

Guess what? For probably the first 15 years after i got married I'd have temper fits about dumb stuff as well and I did break things throw things and yell...alot! Not my proudest admission. Years of therapy and a visit to my dr about it and finally and now I know I'm bipolar as well as possibly adhd. Still working on total diagnosis by a psychologist. Did explain alot to me though.

 

[Divinely Favored]

I’m not sure if this is the right category to post.

I do not see this as cheating and I think my husband is blowing this out of proportion.
After my first date with my now husband I had unplanned sex with my ex boyfriend. We were recently broken up and I was trying to adjust to that. My husband and I barely knew each other then and did not know at that time I would marry this man. If I knew that my choices would have been very different.
He is naturally a jealous and possessive person In some ways. My ex bf used to be an issue for him. He didn’t like that I used to talk to him but didn’t want to say anything because it was still new. Later he told me he didn’t want me to talk to him and I stopped and I didn’t know it bothered him so much. Last week we were walking around some shop with our baby and having a really good time. My ex spotted us and we all talked for a little bit. I kept watching my husband during this to gauge his reaction and he seemed totally fine with it. He complimented us and the baby, and said he was happy for us. It was a normal interaction. He didn’t let in that anything was wrong or bothered him for days. My husband charged my old phone that was just sitting in a drawer. He went through years and years of texts, social media messages, photos, and videos. He eventually put it together that I had sex with him after our 1st date. Finding that out and seeing all of those old messages and pictures made him have a total mental breakdown. He trashed our house and my car then went to his fathers. It took me forever to clean up. I have apologized and apologized even though I don’t think that I cheated on him. I do understand how hurt he is finding this out. I think it is unfair to hold me to relationship standards when we barely knew each other. I can not count the number of women he has had sex with. We are seeing this differently fundamentally. I would never go through his old phones because I know it is just going to hurt me. Everyone I have talked to about this is telling me to leave. I want us to focus on our marriage, future, and our kid. I think this Is a little bit ridiculous. Also, I am sure he was having sex with someone before our first date maybe not after i don’t know.

To my wife and I, once a partner is an ex, there is no more communication and damned sure no sex. I am a serial monogamous, no overlap in partners/dating. Had my wife went back and slept with ex after we started dating, I would have ended it there. I was never one to spin plates. I dated 1 girl and if it did not work, then went to next.

You did not continue to text and send photos back and forth with ex while dating hubby did you. That I would also consider as unfaithful to the relationship.

 

[Divinely Favored]

We talked 1-2 times a week until he asked me to stop. We were together maybe 6 months. We didn’t meet again. He has always had problems with me having an ex in general. He has always had jealousy and similar issues, so this is a big extension of that.

Question I have is how was the interaction when you met him out. What all was said, how long were you talking with ex about family, was it a cheerful "How have you been!? I'm so glad we got to see you"?😁

Something caught in hubby's craw and caused him to search old phone.
When my wife or I see an ex, we do not approach ond definitely do not carry on with them about life and all. Ex might get a Hello, if they can't be avoided. I bet something in your demeanor to ex or hid interaction with you caused suspicion in hubby.

I still can't fathom having sex with an ex. When something is over, it is over.

 

[Divinely Favored]

Some may consider themselves to be a couple after one date but apparently they didn’t.

She didn't. There fixed it for ya!

 

[Divinely Favored]

She said they had already started dating which for many of us means they were a couple.

And in his mind means, she did cheat.

 

[Livvie]

She didn't. There fixed it for ya!

She didn't consider them a couple after the first date. She said she hardly knew him at that point.

 

[Divinely Favored]

Technically? Let's say I go on a date to a restaurant with a woman, spend a nice evening and then nothing happens and we are not exclusive. A week later I have sex with another woman: have I cheated on my first date?

Question is, was another date discussed or set before screwing the other woman?

Technically not cheating but it should be disclosed either before or after that you will be having sex with others while dating, so the 1st woman has choice to date you or cut you off and go on about her business.

 

[In Absentia]

Question is, was another date discussed or set before screwing the other woman?

Technically not cheating but it should be disclosed either before or after that you will be having sex with others while dating, so the 1st woman has choice to date you or cut you off and go on about her business.

I would not ask a date on the first date if they are screwing around... maybe after a second date...

 

[Divinely Favored]

They had ONE DATE.

ONE DATE isn't a couple.

One date isn't a relationship.

Question I would have, was a 2nd date set or already discussed before sex with ex. That would make a difference to me.

 

[Divinely Favored]

I'm absolutely stunned at the ridiculousness some people are writing.

Let's turn the tables/ the genders. Let's make the announcement to all the men reading this: men, if you go one ONE DATE with some woman, you are thereby considered boyfriend and girlfriend and exclusive only to her.

Never mind that you might not even know how much you are interested and are unsure if you even want a second date. You're off the market and are her girlfriend and exclusive with her, because you accepted ONE DATE with her.

STUPIDITY.

Normal for those of us that just dated one at a time. I dated same girl until one of us decided we were done, then you start dating next one. I would never go back to one AT ALL. When they are EX they are EX.

People would tend to know after 1st date if you wanted a 2nd and would at that time say how about next Friday night? Yeah or nay? Or can I take you out again? It's not like you say nothing and happen to cross paths 3 weeks later and say Hey! Want to go out again?

Was another date in works when she screwed the EX? Some of us consider dating someone to be exclusive until it is over, and don't play the field.

 

[Divinely Favored]

But I think there’s a difference between “dating” and just having a first date. According to the OP, it sounds like her husband and she went on one date - they weren’t yet dating.

Was a 2nd date set or discussed, if so..they were dating. If there were no discussion of going out again, this was nice can I call you...then it could be considered a one and done. Otherwise courtesy would have been for her to inform him she was still seeing her ex.

 

[Longtime Hubby]

To my wife and I, once a partner is an ex, there is no more communication and damned sure no sex. I am a serial monogamous, no overlap in partners/dating. Had my wife went back and slept with ex after we started dating, I would have ended it there. I was never one to spin plates. I dated 1 girl and if it did not work, then went to next.

You did not continue to text and send photos back and forth with ex while dating hubby did you. That I would also consider as unfaithful to the relationship.

After one date? That’s A committed relationship? Please.