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My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. Our sex life was never amazing because he is not very experienced, and he is very lazy too. His foreplay is limited to a few kisses, a little licking of my ***** just to make me wet, penetration (usually missionary style) that doesn't last much, and (his) orgasm. I rarely have an orgasm when we have this kind of intercourse, so I usually encourage him to do 69s, which is really pleasant to me and I can come. But he is so lazy, when after the foreplay I suggest the 69 he prefers to abandon the idea of the intercouse rather than having to go down on me. I have tried waxing completely my *****, taking showers and putting attractive creams and perfumes around my pubic area, even sending him porn videos with beautiful cunnilingus scenes, but I haven't succeeded. Lately I watch a lot of lesbian porn and masturbate in front of the computer, as I fantasize of getting one of those amazing cunnilingus I see on the screen. I found on the internet the other day that some escort services offer oral sex to women, but I wouldn't dare. I guess I am just desperate and that's why those thoughts cross my mind. What would you guys do? Would you consider paying a (female) prostitute to satisfy you if your husband cannot do it for you?
 

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Mary,

You two have issues that require some type of counseling. I would think that either a marriage counselor to start or perhaps a sex therapist

Have you tried teaching your husband what you need? Have you talked to him about these issues?

I agree with others that utilizing an escort service would be cheating. How would you feel if he decided that you weren't good at oral because you didn't swallow. would that give him the right to go to a prostitute?

BTW, since you seem to be looking at lesibian porn while you masterbate, are you bi-sexual?
 

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mary 81, have you considered divorce? If you have asked him for the attention you desire and he is indifferent, then you will NEVER get it from him.
 

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She's probably looking at lesbian porn because it's 100% cunnilingus scenes--no distracting BJs to fast forward through. I doubt she's into anything but her obsession with cunnilingus.
 

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Its definitely cheating. Have you ever thought of bringing another woman home for you and your husband together? You get what you want without hurting him or his feelings.
 

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Hi there,
If I am bisexual depends of what is considered here to be bisexual, or even homosexual. If by bisexual/homosexual it is understood that I could not possibly establish a straight relationship, or even enjoy straight sex, then it is not the case. I am not bisexual or homosexual. If by bisexual/homosexual it is understood that I can enjoy sex with other women, but at the same time I can be in a stable straight relationship, then maybe I am. However, being in a lesbian relationship, even if it is only sexual, to me it means cheating. Involving my husband into my lesbian fantasies is a possibility I have considered, but I don't know how he would react. He knows that in my 20s I had many sexual experiences but he prefers not to dig much into it. He, on the contrary, had almost no sexual experience when we met, as odd as it seems in the world of today, but he was 29 when we met and had only had one girlfriend in his whole life (with whom he lasted 5 years, and before her there was no girlfriend). Divorce? No, it's not an option. I love my husband and we are compatible intellectually, emotionally, politically, he is the person I looked for my whole life. Unfortunately, sex with him is repetitive, monotonous and sad to say, boring. I got tired of trying to teach him/show him, and so I had decided I would give up on sex and just enjoy the rest of our life as a couple. However, my sex drive is strong and lately I started fantasizing of a good cunnilingus like in the good-old-times. What am I supposed to do? At this point I don't know. Telling my husband that he doesn't satisfy me orally, and that vaginal sex has become too monotonous for me to enjoy? Hmm...
 

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Hi there,
If I am bisexual depends of what is considered here to be bisexual
Bisexual, from anyone I have spoken to, means enjoying sex withe male or female... attracted to both, would have sex with either. Doesn't mean you can't be in a monogamous relationship/married, if attracted to either sex. There are people who are bisexual who are married to the opposite sex. The attraction to same sex is still there, but they are very much committed to their spouses. Why you would think we mean that you would only be attracted to women if you are bisexual, I don't understand. Bi means both sexes, homosexual means same sex only. Heterosexual means opposite sex only. Again, can't understand why you would have to clarify the meaning of bisexual...:confused:

being in a lesbian relationship, even if it is only sexual, to me it means cheating.
So... then what is the premise of your original question/post? You asked if anyone would do this. Usually, if someone asks a question like this, it means the thought has occurred at some point. So... if you consider it cheating, why would you consider this/ Unless your real question is whether you should search for satisfaction elsewhere, but knew the answer you would receive if asked?

My sex drive is strong and lately I started fantasizing of a good cunnilingus like in the good-old-times. What am I supposed to do? At this point I don't know. Telling my husband that he doesn't satisfy me orally, and that vaginal sex has become too monotonous for me to enjoy? Hmm...
Yes, tell him. Not quite so harshly, but tell him you two need to spice up your sex life. And try actually discussing this with him. Explain to him what you NEED from him... and, ask what you can do FOR HIM as well. He may be just as bored in this rut as you are, but is unsure how to get out of it. Discuss it. Don't just beat around the bush. Lay it out in front of him. Nothing wrong with telling him, point blank, that you want more oral, either!
 

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Tie his hands to the headboard. Use some tasty oil, on yourself and on him. Sit on his face. Turn around and 69. Climb on top of him and have some fun. Make it last as long as you can. It might still be too quick this time... but he may see and "get" what he is missing.
 

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Mary, you really need to find out what is going on. Ask him bluntly if it is the look of it, the smell of it, the lack of confidence in his skills etc.. some things you can change, some not but at least you won't be wondering.

I don't know what normal is, but I would stay down on my wife as long as she would let me. There are times when she only wants sex but afterwards, decides she wants oral and I still do it willingly (after she cleans a little).

He should want to do it, ask to do it. Damn, another guy not responding well to a healthy sexual female.
 

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Tie his hands to the headboard. Use some tasty oil, on yourself and on him. Sit on his face. Turn around and 69. Climb on top of him and have some fun. Make it last as long as you can. It might still be too quick this time... but he may see and "get" what he is missing.
Now that I'm single again, I'm wondering just where a guy would have to go to sign up with this sort of "abuse" and not have to chance getting into a permanent relationship or even worse, a social disease?:smthumbup:
 

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Would you consider paying a (female) prostitute to satisfy you?


No. Go to any nearby club or a bar, there are plenty of woman DTF for free.
 

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Hi there,
If I am bisexual depends of what is considered here to be bisexual, or even homosexual. If by bisexual/homosexual it is understood that I could not possibly establish a straight relationship, or even enjoy straight sex, then it is not the case. I am not bisexual or homosexual. If by bisexual/homosexual it is understood that I can enjoy sex with other women, but at the same time I can be in a stable straight relationship, then maybe I am. However, being in a lesbian relationship, even if it is only sexual, to me it means cheating. Involving my husband into my lesbian fantasies is a possibility I have considered, but I don't know how he would react. He knows that in my 20s I had many sexual experiences but he prefers not to dig much into it. He, on the contrary, had almost no sexual experience when we met, as odd as it seems in the world of today, but he was 29 when we met and had only had one girlfriend in his whole life (with whom he lasted 5 years, and before her there was no girlfriend). Divorce? No, it's not an option. I love my husband and we are compatible intellectually, emotionally, politically, he is the person I looked for my whole life. Unfortunately, sex with him is repetitive, monotonous and sad to say, boring. I got tired of trying to teach him/show him, and so I had decided I would give up on sex and just enjoy the rest of our life as a couple. However, my sex drive is strong and lately I started fantasizing of a good cunnilingus like in the good-old-times. What am I supposed to do? At this point I don't know. Telling my husband that he doesn't satisfy me orally, and that vaginal sex has become too monotonous for me to enjoy? Hmm...
Holy crap I am confused!......:confused:...:scratchhead:
 

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I have thought about asking my h if he would agree to me finding a woman to do it to me, because I think maybe it wouldn't be as much of a threat to him. But the truth is he doesn't like going down and I absolutely love it. I'm not even attracted to women, I'd probably close my eyes and think of a guy. But we are in sex therapy now so hopefully something will change.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Bisexual, from anyone I have spoken to, means enjoying sex withe male or female... attracted to both, would have sex with either. Doesn't mean you can't be in a monogamous relationship/married, if attracted to either sex. There are people who are bisexual who are married to the opposite sex. The attraction to same sex is still there, but they are very much committed to their spouses. Why you would think we mean that you would only be attracted to women if you are bisexual, I don't understand. Bi means both sexes, homosexual means same sex only. Heterosexual means opposite sex only. Again, can't understand why you would have to clarify the meaning of bisexual...:confused:

Because I wanted to explain that my sexual attraction to other women does not interfere with my being in a straight and steady relationship. If only sex was satisfying.

So... then what is the premise of your original question/post? You asked if anyone would do this. Usually, if someone asks a question like this, it means the thought has occurred at some point. So... if you consider it cheating, why would you consider this/ Unless your real question is whether you should search for satisfaction elsewhere, but knew the answer you would receive if asked?

Being in a lesbian RELATIONSHIP is what I consider cheating. Having sex once with someone, just so I get rid of my cravings seems like a better idea. But again, I don't know so I turn to these forums for opinions.

Yes, tell him. Not quite so harshly, but tell him you two need to spice up your sex life. And try actually discussing this with him. Explain to him what you NEED from him... and, ask what you can do FOR HIM as well. He may be just as bored in this rut as you are, but is unsure how to get out of it. Discuss it. Don't just beat around the bush. Lay it out in front of him. Nothing wrong with telling him, point blank, that you want more oral, either!
Thanks a lot!
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I have thought about asking my h if he would agree to me finding a woman to do it to me, because I think maybe it wouldn't be as much of a threat to him. But the truth is he doesn't like going down and I absolutely love it. I'm not even attracted to women, I'd probably close my eyes and think of a guy. But we are in sex therapy now so hopefully something will change.
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Exactly my point! I can't even imagine another man going down on me and I know it would drive my husband crazy if one day he would find out. A woman, on the other hand, would not be such a deal and to me is as pleasant (or maybe more pleasant, I find it really sexy to watch).
 
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