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hi

i am new here.
9 days ago my wife admitted to cheating on me since February with one of her ex clients. she used to be a solicitor
i suspected it but she is going through depression so i put it to that un-beknowing that wasn't the case.

i thought we were really happy, we drive nice cars, 2 beautiful happy boys, nice house, ate well and dressed well. i thought i gave her everything including my soul, then she told me
what she is doing and she does not love me anymore. i did everything i could to keep my family together in the last few days but 'nothing'.

this is just a very quick short version and i am finding it very difficult to cope with it to a point i am thinking of thoughts i shouldn't be having
 

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Sleeping with a client, eh? Bar association time. My association takes a very dim view of sleeping with clients, and I damn well know that the authority that governs the legal profession in my province is apt to strip members of their law licenses for this. So, be evil. Get your financial settlement out of her. Make sure it is engraved in stone. Then report her. I know, as I was representing a senior lawyer's wife. We had gotten everything out of his behind that we possibly could, all signed sealed and delivered. His side was uneasy that we were not interested in ongoing payments, we wanted everything up front. They found out two days after it was signed. He was reported to the Law Society. He was immediately suspended from practice pending an investigation. That investigation took a year. He was suspended from practice for five years and then had to submit to being monitored. He had to withdraw from his partnership, at a SEVERE discount. His colleagues had a horse laugh at his expense. He should have been savvy enough to see this coming. Ahhhhhh, my heart bled. Oh, he was so upset that he broke up with his AP. All for nothing. Heard he is keeping body and soul together by working as a paralegal. That is until he gets caught by the law society. He is enjoined from doing that kind of work as well.
 

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I'm so sorry to hear this, it must have blindsided you. You will get through it. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else you need to get in person help immediately. Please call your doctor for help.

hugs
 

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hi

i am new here.
9 days ago my wife admitted to cheating on me since February with one of her ex clients. she used to be a solicitor
i suspected it but she is going through depression so i put it to that un-beknowing that wasn't the case.

i thought we were really happy, we drive nice cars, 2 beautiful happy boys, nice house, ate well and dressed well. i thought i gave her everything including my soul, then she told me
what she is doing and she does not love me anymore. i did everything i could to keep my family together in the last few days but 'nothing'.

this is just a very quick short version and i am finding it very difficult to cope with it to a point i am thinking of thoughts i shouldn't be having
You mean like kicking it to the curb, packing her trash in trash bags. Telling everyone about her affair and her company she works for. Exposing this to the affair partner wife..... No these are all good feelings but hold off on exposing to the company use it as a bargaining chip. But other than that your good to go.

By the way, quit being that nice guy, and playing the pick me dance. It's not a show of strength, but weakness.
 

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Sleeping with a client, eh? Bar association time. My association takes a very dim view of sleeping with clients, and I damn well know that the authority that governs the legal profession in my province is apt to strip members of their law licenses for this. So, be evil. Get your financial settlement out of her. Make sure it is engraved in stone. Then report her. I know, as I was representing a senior lawyer's wife. We had gotten everything out of his behind that we possibly could, all signed sealed and delivered. His side was uneasy that we were not interested in ongoing payments, we wanted everything up front. They found out two days after it was signed. He was reported to the Law Society. He was immediately suspended from practice pending an investigation. That investigation took a year. He was suspended from practice for five years and then had to submit to being monitored. He had to withdraw from his partnership, at a SEVERE discount. His colleagues had a horse laugh at his expense. He should have been savvy enough to see this coming. Ahhhhhh, my heart bled. Oh, he was so upset that he broke up with his AP. All for nothing. Heard he is keeping body and soul together by working as a paralegal. That is until he gets caught by the law society. He is enjoined from doing that kind of work as well.
Cool!!
 

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Sleeping with a client, eh? Bar association time. My association takes a very dim view of sleeping with clients, and I damn well know that the authority that governs the legal profession in my province is apt to strip members of their law licenses for this. So, be evil. Get your financial settlement out of her. Make sure it is engraved in stone. Then report her. I know, as I was representing a senior lawyer's wife. We had gotten everything out of his behind that we possibly could, all signed sealed and delivered. His side was uneasy that we were not interested in ongoing payments, we wanted everything up front. They found out two days after it was signed. He was reported to the Law Society. He was immediately suspended from practice pending an investigation. That investigation took a year. He was suspended from practice for five years and then had to submit to being monitored. He had to withdraw from his partnership, at a SEVERE discount. His colleagues had a horse laugh at his expense. He should have been savvy enough to see this coming. Ahhhhhh, my heart bled. Oh, he was so upset that he broke up with his AP. All for nothing. Heard he is keeping body and soul together by working as a paralegal. That is until he gets caught by the law society. He is enjoined from doing that kind of work as well.
Be this^^^^^
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I'm so sorry to hear this, it must have blindsided you. You will get through it. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else you need to get in person help immediately. Please call your doctor for help.

hugs
thank you.. my world has just collapsed around me. the most painful thing out of all this is my 2 beautiful boys. not seeing them every day not messing around with them is killing me inside.
help.. due to the corona virus GPs are not seeing people and i cant even go anywhere as we are on a lock down.

i am absolutely devastated especially when we had everything and she through all that away in 6-8 weeks and makes everything look irrelevant
 

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thank you.. my world has just collapsed around me. the most painful thing out of all this is my 2 beautiful boys. not seeing them every day not messing around with them is killing me inside.
help.. due to the corona virus GPs are not seeing people and i cant even go anywhere as we are on a lock down.

i am absolutely devastated especially when we had everything and she through all that away in 6-8 weeks and makes everything look irrelevant
In your country, go for custody. I would. The emotions you have will turn to anger, use that to win everything. And let her have only what the law allows nothing more.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
You mean like kicking it to the curb, packing her trash in trash bags. Telling everyone about her affair and her company she works for. Exposing this to the affair partner wife..... No these are all good feelings but hold off on exposing to the company use it as a bargaining chip. But other than that your good to go.

By the way, quit being that nice guy, and playing the pick me dance. It's not a show of strength, but weakness.
she is a ex solicitor and is not practicing anymore

the worst thing is she says it was never planned but the moment you text in secret, met in secret, the intent is there.
she made it out it was me and i felt like i was wrong and then BAM! she played me all along. she even blamed my family for the split. granted my family can be overpowering but i stuck by her every step of the way and even stopped talking to my family just so i can keep my house together
 

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In your country, go for custody. I would. The emotions you have will turn to anger, use that to win everything. And let her have only what the law allows nothing more.
i want to but i cant put my boys through that, they are too precious and young 9 & 6
 

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You mean like kicking it to the curb, packing her trash in trash bags. Telling everyone about her affair and her company she works for. Exposing this to the affair partner wife..... No these are all good feelings but hold off on exposing to the company use it as a bargaining chip. But other than that your good to go.

By the way, quit being that nice guy, and playing the pick me dance. It's not a show of strength, but weakness.
i try but i just cant be a prick, just for my boys, i just want to get through this... some how
 

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I know it seems desperate right now. I'm sure it feels like your world is ending. I know my boyfriend felt similar about his kids when his marriage ended. He got through it and so can you. You will adjust to the new normal. But you can't do that if you do something desperate!!! Your boys need you. Stay strong for them. Even if you don't get to see them everyday, you will still be in each other's hearts every day. Call for help if you need it. Please.
 

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This was not about what you could give her or not. It was about her--her choices. Be strong for your kids, they deserve someone with integrity to be an example for them.
Vent here. How long married? How long her affair? Y'all's ages? How did you find out? Is she planning to leave? Is her AP married?

Again, you were faithful and trusted someone who did not deserve such. No matter how devastating this is, be a survivor, not a victim of her treachery.
 

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i want to but i cant put my boys through that, they are too precious and young 9 & 6
Show them how a man handles, problems and don't be that unnerved co-dependent shell. Do what must be done finish what she started.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Samaritans UK & ROI
National
Contact by: Face to Face
- Phone
- Letter:
- E-mail:

Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate)
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI - local rate)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
Website: samaritans.org
E-mail Helpline: [email protected]
24 Hour service:


I know it seems desperate right now. I'm sure it feels like your world is ending. I know my boyfriend felt similar about his kids when his marriage ended. He got through it and so can you. You will adjust to the new normal. But you can't do that if you do something desperate!!! Your boys need you. Stay strong for them. Even if you don't get to see them everyday, you will still be in each other's hearts every day. Call for help if you need it. Please.
thank you x
i am trying, but its just so bloody hard
 

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i try but i just cant be a prick, just for my boys, i just want to get through this... some how
Just get angry.
Channel that anger towards doing the right things for both yourself and your kids.
The woman your legally connected to is an enemy to your family.
Treat her as such until such time as she has redeemed herself (if possible.)
Besides she must have a thing for strange pricks, she drug one into your relationship!
 

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This was not about what you could give her or not. It was about her--her choices. Be strong for your kids, they deserve someone with integrity to be an example for them.
Vent here. How long married? How long her affair? Y'all's ages? How did you find out? Is she planning to leave? Is her AP married?

Again, you were faithful and trusted someone who did not deserve such. No matter how devastating this is, be a survivor, not a victim of her treachery.
we been married for 10 years but like all marriages we had ups and downs but the last 3 years we couldnt be happier, well i thought

affair 6-8 weeks but it took her 2 weeks to through everything away, people take longer to choose a savings account

i am 48 / she is 40 / boys are 9 & 6

her moods, routines and she god distant and her phone went every where with her

i tried for 9 days to change her mind, offered her every solution possible but no no no

i left on sunday gone because she just kept ringing and texting him right in front of me

the guy she chose is a single parent who has had 2 broken relationships already
 

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She made deliberate decisions to be a cheater. That is who she is. Don't give up and let her 'win.'

Of course, it is difficult. You can't change her, but you can show her how a real man protects his kids, his honor, his dream. Many medical practices are now doing online visits. Try that and tell them it is an emergency.

Sounds like she is a mean witch too after your last post.
 

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She made deliberate decisions to be a cheater. That is who she is. Don't give up and let her 'win.'

Of course, it is difficult. You can't change her, but you can show her how a real man protects his kids, his honor, his dream. Many medical practices are now doing online visits. Try that and tell them it is an emergency.

Sounds like she is a mean witch too after your last post.
i don't even recognize her
i am trying to keep it civil just for the boys otherwise it would be different

she new what she was doing and it was always planned. she messed with me emotionally and i got sucked in to believing i was the problem when in reality it is all her
 

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She has shown you who she is...believe it. She is not the woman you thought she was unfortunately. It will hurt like hell for a long time but be strong. Do the 180 on her. Stop contact with her unless it's related to your boys. If she tries to talk to you about anything else, shut her down. The more you disengage the easier it will be for you to heal. This much I know from personal experience. Out of sight will become out of mind.

I'm sure others who have been through it will be along to give you better tips.
 
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