So I’m sort of at a cross roads here and wanted some opinions from others on my situation. I’ve been with my current employer for almost 30 years and have risen through the ranks accordingly. I’m currently in charge of a work unit of almost 400 people and in all honesty I’m getting burnt out with the 60 plus hour work weeks and constant, unrelenting pressure. I think it’s starting to affect my home life as I’m not very good at “leaving it at the office” as I should be and many evenings I’m just not great company. Wife is very understanding but still being like this is not who I want to be.
What it comes down to is that if I look for something else which has less pressure I’m sure it will come with a commensurate decrease in pay and prestige. We are at a point where the kids are out of college and pretty much on their own and we can swing the bills on a reduced household income but obviously would have to cut back on some of the luxuries that I get satisfaction on being able to provide for wife and family. My issue is my current job is a big part of where my self esteem comes from. I don’t want to end up feeling like less of the provider I have been and sort of losing the alphaness in our relationship. I can see myself being very hard to live with if I felt less of a man because I gave up a well paying job because the pressure became more than I could handle and I’m concerned this might affect my relationship with my wife. I realize my thinking is probably somewhat old fashion and there are lots of people out there in this economy who have it much worse but I can’t help how I feel. I’ve seen too many people make themselves miserable in bad jobs or bad marriages and I have really become a believer in the whole life’s too short to be miserable mentality (even though the advice from my brother has been to just suck it up….)
I didn’t know if this would be the appropriate place to post this but I just wanted some viewpoints from the Men’s Clubhouse as to how guys define their self esteem or ways to build it outside of relating it to what they provide from a material standpoint to their wives and families. I hope this makes sense and I’d be very grateful to hear any thoughts anyone might have.
What it comes down to is that if I look for something else which has less pressure I’m sure it will come with a commensurate decrease in pay and prestige. We are at a point where the kids are out of college and pretty much on their own and we can swing the bills on a reduced household income but obviously would have to cut back on some of the luxuries that I get satisfaction on being able to provide for wife and family. My issue is my current job is a big part of where my self esteem comes from. I don’t want to end up feeling like less of the provider I have been and sort of losing the alphaness in our relationship. I can see myself being very hard to live with if I felt less of a man because I gave up a well paying job because the pressure became more than I could handle and I’m concerned this might affect my relationship with my wife. I realize my thinking is probably somewhat old fashion and there are lots of people out there in this economy who have it much worse but I can’t help how I feel. I’ve seen too many people make themselves miserable in bad jobs or bad marriages and I have really become a believer in the whole life’s too short to be miserable mentality (even though the advice from my brother has been to just suck it up….)
I didn’t know if this would be the appropriate place to post this but I just wanted some viewpoints from the Men’s Clubhouse as to how guys define their self esteem or ways to build it outside of relating it to what they provide from a material standpoint to their wives and families. I hope this makes sense and I’d be very grateful to hear any thoughts anyone might have.