[Zig]

....according to the "Coping with Infidelity" section of TAM. I just read the titles of threads and it seems that a 1 to 3 ratio of men cheating versus women cheating seems to be about right.

Thoughts?

 

[DailyGrind]

Maybe men are less willing to talk a out it?

 

[2ntnuf]

It has to be somewhere close to the percentage of men vs. women. I mean, I don't think there are that many more of either sex that cheat. I think the difference in the total amount for each sex would reflect the difference in the population.

Don't know if I said that right. Oh well...

 

[norajane]

Women often have a lot of friends and family that serve as support systems if their husbands are cheating, so they might not come to a message board. They talk it out with their friends who know them.

Men might not have a lot of people to turn to, or might not want to turn to the people they know to talk about their wives' cheating on them.

 

[Juicer]

I think it is actually split down the line. Men and women cheat in equal numbers.

But I find men are better are cutting off their AP usually.

Women fall in love. And want to entertian delusional fantasies. Usually.

Not always though. My wife told me she had a few, but eventually she realized what she was doing.

Something else I think is a big issue:
Woman have more outreach groups for cheating husbands.

Because most of society assumes it is the man that cheats. Never the wife. Because she is pure. She is holy. She is whatever. There are church groups, charity groups, feminist groups, etc. to help women deal with a wayward husband.

What is there for a husband?
I looked, and all I found was a church group to help men that have cheated on their wives.

Also I think it is a matter of privacy.

Woman probably tell everyone, and want support.

Guys, do we do that?
I posted something on my facebook about it, but I felt stupid, and I was so angry with myself for doing it.
Because what I wanted was betrayed husband's anonymous. I didn't want people knowing I couldn't keep my wife satisfied. That was humiliating!!!
I just wanted people to help me out, but not know me, because it owuld be embarrassing. Here I am, 6'2", at 215 all of it thick corded muscle, and I got a wife at home that cheated on me. I felt destroyed!

So I think we draw more BH than BW because BW look for support everyway.
BH look for support online, because they don't want everyone to know their problem. Because let's face it, it is embarrassing.

 

[meson]

That might mean something IFF TAM were a cross section of the population but it's not. It's pre-filtered with people that have problems that are seeking for help in a particular way. The CWI section is very welcoming to betrayed spouses in a style that suits men. So men stay.

You wouldn't go to a gay bar and expect a poll to represent the whole population. Likewise TAM is filled with a very filtered set of people from which drawing statistical conclusions is suspect.

 

[costa200]

Actually i think it's just about support available. Women usually have more of it. Men don't like to confess to people they know that their wives cheat. Specially if they are inclined to go for an R. I don't believe there is a big difference in numbers of cheater per gender.

 

[Machiavelli]

It has to be somewhere close to the percentage of men vs. women. I mean, I don't think there are that many more of either sex that cheat. I think the difference in the total amount for each sex would reflect the difference in the population.

Don't know if I said that right. Oh well...

It's the 80-20 rule. 100% of the women who are playing, will go for the same 20% of males of top SMV. So let's say you've got a group of 100 men and 100 women who are open to committing adultery. 20 of those men will share 80 of the women. The bottom 20 women that the top 10 men won't touch, will have their pick of the bottom 80 men. So a lot of men who have ads on the cheating sites won't get any action,even though they're willing.

 

[45188]

Check loveshack, where men cheat 3 times as much as women.

But according to real polls (Not just forum demographics) its 50% women 60% men.

http://www.catalogs.com/info/relationships/percentage-of-married-couples-who-cheat-on-each-ot.html

 

[Ten_year_hubby]

Maybe women are just three times less likely to want their cheating husbands back so they don't look for advice.

 

[Hope1964]

Perfect example of how so-called 'statistics' can be skewed to say whatever we want them to say.

All I know is that 100% of those of us who are cheated on are also married to cheaters. And that it sucks, big time.

 

[KathyBatesel]

Studies seem to indicate it's pretty neck-and-neck.

I suspect that men turn to online sites where they can remain anonymous while women turn to people they know more often, so it would be disproportionate on a site like this.

 

[WhereAmI]

This forum is solution oriented. The advice is great if you're looking to get out of limbo ASAP. There's no candy-coating. This attracts many betrayed men, but it seems to be a little much for the average newly betrayed woman. There's another forum I frequent that is support oriented. There's a lot of "you can do this!" and a hell of a lot less "sh*t or get off the pot!" That forum is filled with so many women you'd think men were always the unfaithful ones. IMO, the number you're seeing is due to the type of support given at TAM.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[COguy]

Other fun facts we can ascertain from this forum:

1. 99% of marriages suck A$$.
2. 50% of married men have low sex drives and the women have to initiate and bug their husbands for sex
3. Most people should be on the Jerry Springer show.
4. 100% of females have vaginal orgasms from sex.
5. I'm F*cking awesome.

Only one of those is probably accurate in real life.

 

[Sara8]

Check loveshack, where men cheat 3 times as much as women.

But according to real polls (Not just forum demographics) its 50% women 60% men.

Percentage Of Married Couples Who Cheat

I agree with this post.

The rate of woman cheating has risen dramatically in all age groups.

But particularly among women in their 30s.

Some of these women, according to OW sites, see cheating with an older married man as a way to get the money and attention their similar aged spouses can not yet give them.

Many mid life crisis men are set in their career with more disposable income and have risen to levels in their jobs that provide more free time, and/or make it easy for them to get away for long lunch time trysts.

The women in the 30s often have a slew of kids but are bored and feel their husbands don't earn enough or pay them enough attention

....never mind like the OW in my case, her husband was busting his butt at work to keep her living in style and four kids in upscale private schools. These women feel neglected and entitled.

Also shows like sex in the city and others make it seem trendy to cheat with a married man.

Also, there is no present social taboo against cheating for young women, it's applauded among themselves and they even gossip about their affair partners to each other.

For a women with kids in her thirties getting an older man to cheat on his wife is just as big a conquest as is the mid life crisis guy getting attention from a young women. It feeds their egos.

 

[Sara8]

Maybe women are just three times less likely to want their cheating husbands back so they don't look for advice.

That is true, too.

75 percent of the time, it is the women who files for divorce.

 

[ShawnD]

It's the 80-20 rule. 100% of the women who are playing, will go for the same 20% of males of top SMV. So let's say you've got a group of 100 men and 100 women who are open to committing adultery. 20 of those men will share 80 of the women. The bottom 20 women that the top 20 men won't touch, will have their pick of the bottom 80 men. So a lot of men who have ads on the cheating sites won't get any action,even though they're willing.

This theory also explains why women love dating men who cheat. The top 20 men can sleep with the top 80 women, so that's a nice ratio of 4 women per man. With odds like that, of course he's going to cheat. Then that 80% group of women complains that every boyfriend cheats on them.

 

[Sara8]

It's the 80-20 rule. 100% of the women who are playing, will go for the same 20% of males of top SMV. So let's say you've got a group of 100 men and 100 women who are open to committing adultery. 20 of those men will share 80 of the women. The bottom 20 women that the top 10 men won't touch, will have their pick of the bottom 80 men. So a lot of men who have ads on the cheating sites won't get any action,even though they're willing.

Machi:

Those stats are outdated...... like from the 50s.

Most women prefer to be swept off their feet into an affair. Or, at least want to think they cheated because they were swept off their feet by a manipulative man.

Thus they are less likely to go looking for it at a cheaters site.

Also according to Machiavellian concepts a good machiavellian personality is good at reading people and we all know women excel at that.

google it.

Women read body language and micro expressions far better than men and are good a targeting men ripe for cheating.

They, also in true machiavellian fashion, cheating women flatter the man's ego and thus understand a man's needs and gain their trust that way.

For example, the OW told my spouse, he was perfect, and she was always flattering him in the most obviously INSINCERE ways. But men eat that stuff up.

 

[Sara8]

With odds like that, of course he's going to cheat. Then that 80% group of women complains that every boyfriend cheats on them.

Men tend to brag about cheating.

Most women are somewhat embarrassed by being a cheater, and may be shunned if it was known they were cheaters among normal social circles.

Also, women get caught less often because they are better at hiding their cheating, mainly because they do not need to spend marital funds on the affair....men do.

And don't forget women read people better than do men. So, a wife is better at noticing that a man is acting odd when in an affair.

 

[ShawnD]

And don't forget women read people better than do men. So, a wife is better at noticing that a man is acting odd when in an affair.

I disagree with this because I find that at least 90% of the entire population is completely retarded and can't read people. I would be richer than Bill Gates if I got a nickel every time someone kept talking at me when I'm clearly not listening. If someone can't even tell if I'm listening, I doubt they would notice if I cheated or if I had a dead body in my trunk.