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Discussion Starter #1
Ok as a sort of poll for the ladies....

For those of you who are in mid 40's and older....

Age 45 and later did your sex drive decrease, increase, or stay the same?

For those who are going through or are past meno...did your drive increase, decrease, or stay same?

Since my wife is 45 but no signs of perimeno....except that for a couple years i note she is more agressive overall personality..used to be somewhat delicate and passive and very sexually inhibited.....now that things are more "active" and more open about her earlier sex inhibitions and she even has o's once in a while.....I'm wondering if there is more and more enjoyment ahead....I know every woman is different of course.

I'm a doc although not in the gp or sex specialties....so I don't know either other than the rumor that drive decreases with age....but I hear different from friends who have good or better sex lives in mid 40's and on. I've read a lot of stories of hyperdrive happening in perimeno and even after also in previously low drive women.
 

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Well my drive has always been good, every day would be fine for me.

Not sure if I suit your poll though. Came out of a LTR 2.5 yrs ago that was sexless (not my choice), went wild dating around and now in an exclusive relationship with a HD man.

I turned of my sex drive towards the end of my marriage but it didn't take much to get back into the swing of it when presented with so many sexy men out there in the world. I hope I want to have sex forever and now know that for me, it is the man I am with that dictates the quantity and type of sex we have.

I have the desire as long as I am desired.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
No question I realize that most women can involuntarily or voluntarily turn off sex drive if the relationship is not right regardless of age.

My wife will swear up and down that it does NOT MATTER but there is no question she perked up after I started lifting weights, wearing stylish clothes and shoes, shaved my head, and just generally acting more "sexual/sexy" around her. It had not previously dawned on me that to get more sex it helps to be more sexy. Duh.
 

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No question I realize that most women can involuntarily or voluntarily turn off sex drive if the relationship is not right regardless of age.

My wife will swear up and down that it does NOT MATTER but there is no question she perked up after I started lifting weights, wearing stylish clothes and shoes, shaved my head, and just generally acting more "sexual/sexy" around her. It had not previously dawned on me that to get more sex it helps to be more sexy. Duh.
Don't worry many of us are slow learners :) Took me years to realise that my husband "just wasn't that into me".

And yes a shaved head is very sexy, good work.
 

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My sex drive increased in my early 40's, now at 45 it's still high, it definately changed for me. I had a normal drive for years. I enjoy sex more, have better O's etc. I also think as women age, they become more confident and sefl assured, we really don't care if our bodies aren't perfect anymore.
 

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I'm one of those women who went WILD for whoopie when I hit 42...this was after I had my last son, got an IUD (sexual freedom)....and our oldest went to college- kinda mid life crisis time hit too... I wanted to go back in time something awful - to when my husband was lustier /raring to go.

.... I used to be Repressed, inhibited.. and well, all of that was blown out the window...... I suddenly wanted to rent PORN, I wanted HIM to be more aggressive in the worst way.... I became more aggressive...sexual confidence came over night....like this IS the ROLE I was born to play...the cougar unleashed...... to seduce , tease & please my husband... flirting became my new language... What an exciting time in my life --ha ha ...this was ME >>>>


I had physical symptoms in my body.. I was wet 24/7 - no forplay needed, I hardly seemed to need sleep, body felt like I was walking on the clouds, not a pain or ache anywhere......I think I would have died if He wouldn't let me touch him.... I needed to be filled.... wanted it like 3 times a day , even my underarms suddenly needed clinical strength deoderant --just like our teen sons...all of this points to some RAGING hormones -RISING Testosterone/ add some dopamine -you got an addiction ....Everything about sex became seriously ELECTRIC to me.. ..couldn't lay it down. Didn't want to either. :D

I wish I had my TEST checked--I think it was out of whack... some real SURGING going on there .... Asked my OBGYN , but she just brushed me off saying to "enjoy it"... LOVED it.. but it was a little tormenting at the same time....unrelenting is a good description.

This LUSTFUL ride lasted 8 full months (I kept a sex calender)... I was reading so much about sex & hormones- trying to understand myself -and my husbands slowing down a little.... I thought I could contribute some of my growing knowledge...on a forum... why I landed HERE. :)
 

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I'm not sure how relevant my experience is as circumstances play a large part.
I had what I considered to be a normal drive and have rarely turned my H down. He however developed ED problems at 50 and TURNED OFF EVERYTHING. So for a very long time it was a sexless marriage and I found this extremely difficult as from my 40's onwards my libido has increased, and has remained high ever since.
Fortunately we have worked through most of our problems and have a fairly good sex life now with some sort of sexual interaction most days - morning and/or night. I mainly initiate but he loves that.
Menopause was a wild ride but not quite up there with Simply Amorous - it was during our 'difficult' years.
 

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I started getting a higher sex drive in my 30's, but that had more to do with meeting my hubby than anything else.

I am 47 now and it hasn't diminished. Although that may have more to do with the fact our nest has emptied than anything else.

I have pretty much always been higher drive than my hubby.
 

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I've always been high drive...except for a couple of years there when I was pregnant/having babies/breastfeeding etc.. We were never sexless but it was a low sex time.

I'm now 45 and my high drive has just got high and higher since my later 30's. We're a 'mostly happily married couple'.

Long may it last!
 

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Started to really dip at 52 years. It's not only that which has changed. Body, mind, everything goes.

If you are in your forties, make use of it because believe me, it will go.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
What does that mean....? I mean I know intellectually what you are saying...but since I cant remember a time when I was not wanting sex all the time...maybe since I was 10-12 years old?

When you "take it" do you like it sometimes? Is it the initiation that you never think about...or do you not have orgasms or ?

I can't get my brain around not being interested in sex.....sometimes I almost wish my daily desire would go away...even though I have my wife much more willing than in the past....it can be a bit of an annoyance to have a daily high sex drive and worry about rejection etc etc etc.

Thanks for the info
 

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Started to really dip at 52 years. It's not only that which has changed. Body, mind, everything goes.

If you are in your forties, make use of it because believe me, it will go.
mmm have to disagree here - I am in my early 60's and mine is back to much the same as first year of marriage. ie some sort of encounter desired and acted upon at least once daily.
 

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simplyamorous....

what happened after the 8 months?
That 8 month "SEX high" experience was so very strong for me .... it just totally changed me .....I will NEVER be the same woman I once was....... Our marriage has always been GOOD.. but this caused us to be so much closer....sexually/ emotionally intimate reaching the heights... Just the way he handled me in that antsy "couldn't get enough" state.

Everything I once took for granted, everything we missed sexually... flooded me......and I wanted to LIVE it...NOW... experience it all.... This did NOT stop when my hormones took a slow dive... they say SEX is inbetween the ears... how very true I have found this to be !! I may need lube once in a while now, but I still love being there !

During that time, I got a good FEEL of how emotionally crushing it is to be rejected .... just imagining was enough for me :(.....not that my husband even did this -cause he didn't...there were nights he would say "wake me up in a few hours"- I could live with that -some HOT anticipation.

But just his being lower drive over me....DISTURBED ME... I did not like that at all. :mad:

As a woman, I wanted MY HUSBAND to be higher drive, this didn't seem normal to me. It was like my greatest prayer..."GOD, just make HIM more LUSTFUL - will [email protected]#$%^&*

I took solace in the fact he LOVED sex....even IF I had to revv his engine, he desired to BE there. If not, if he thought I was "too much" or I was being a pain up his kisser.... I think we would have had some real issues.

Getting to your question... (sorry side tracked).....so therefore...my MINDSET changed all for the GOOD, turning the intimacy heat up.....we were having so much FUN :D
so even with the hormones taking a dive >>>> I wanted everything in me to continue on this "High"...... so our sex life has not slowed down hardly at all.. it's still 4-6 times a week....the only advantage is ...if I don't get it every single day....I am not feeling like I am thirsting in the desert somehow, so antsy for it -- just like young men in their early years.... I can accualy concentrate on other things in the meantime...this helps !!

Now I can even go 3-4 days without feeling sex crazed... but we never do --cause we love "working it up" and bringing ourselves to that place. I'd say we're both addicted to orgasms.
 

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3-4 days...

My wife gets sex crazed to the point even during overnight fights/disagreements she comes straddles me waking me up on my sofa bed lol

The longer the break, the bigger the explosion really
 

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I hit about 43 at the start of this year & just went crazy for sex. I thought I was turning into a man!
Some comes from hormones, I am definately peri-menopausal, some comes from getting my other health issues into reasonable control. Celiac & IBS, if I eat the wrong things, the last thing I want is anyone near me.
I have also discovered just how important sex is to my husband, amongst other things.
 

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I noticed little change in my drive, which was always 'normal,' but with the fear of pregnancy gone, I have found sex more enjoyable since the meno, and maturity has made me more confident and adventurous.
 
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