[Rob_1]

I can't see why I would be surprised. That's normal human behavior. Nothing new there. Same business as usual for humans since at least the last 200,000 years; from the beginnings, basically.
It still bugs me to read and/or hear people asseverate with such certainty and in horror that we are a monogamous species. Nothing more ridiculous and moronic, because WE ARE NOT A MONOGAMOUS SPECIES. If we were we wouldn't have to worry about cheating, because we humans wouldn't cheat.

What we have is a social system that evolved thousands of years ago in order to ensure that a child's bloodline was that of the father, not someone else's. A marriage contract evolved were we pledge ourselves to the betrothed.

Those that live in the real world and not in some made up in their head la la land understand and see the cheating going on in all stratus of life. Basically, a little less than half of humans are able to stick by their pledge, the rest, well OP saw it at the restaurant

 

[Diana7]

I can't see why I would be surprised. That's normal human behavior. Nothing new there. Same business as usual for humans since at least the last 200,000 years; from the beginnings, basically.
It still bugs me to read and/or hear people asseverate with such certainty and in horror that we are a monogamous species. Nothing more ridiculous and moronic, because WE ARE NOT A MONOGAMOUS SPECIES. If we were we wouldn't have to worry about cheating, because we humans wouldn't cheat.

What we have is a social system that evolved thousands of years ago in order to ensure that a child's bloodline was that of the father, not someone else's. A marriage contract evolved were we pledge ourselves to the betrothed.

Those that live in the real world and not in some made up in their head la la land understand and see the cheating going on in all stratus of life. Basically, a little less than half of humans are able to stick by their pledge, the rest, well OP saw it at the restaurant

I disagree. It's a known fact that children thrive and do best in a family with a mum and dad. It's how we are designed to be.
People cheat because they have no moral values or integrity, not because we aren't made that way.

 

[gaius]

So you went out to dinner with your husband and spent most of it paying attention to what some married guy at the bar was doing.

Whatever you want to say about married guys wife, she's probably not bored enough to focus somewhere else whenever he takes her out.

 

[Diana7]

So you went out to dinner with your husband and spent most of it paying attention to what some married guy at the bar was doing.

Whatever you want to say about married guys wife, she's probably not bored enough to focus somewhere else whenever he takes her out.

I doubt she spent most of it doing that.

 

[gaius]

I doubt she spent most of it doing that.

She seems to know a lot of detail about what this married guy was doing and saying. Which would have required her husband to not be talking much. Or if he was he got ignored for the guy at the bar.

At least one of the men there showed her an interesting night.

 

[Diana7]

She seems to know a lot of detail about what this married guy was doing and saying. Which would have required her husband to not be talking much. Or if he was he got ignored for the guy at the bar.

At least one of the men there showed her an interesting night.

Maybe they were both noticing what was going on.

 

[harperlee]

It's too bad, Snowbum, that you didn't have a better time with your husband at dinner. Maybe focus on the relationship you have with your husband and what you want it to be.
Eavesdropping is considered ill-mannered.

 

[Diana7]

It's too bad, Snowbum, that you didn't have a better time with your husband at dinner. Maybe focus on the relationship you have with your husband and what you want it to be.
Eavesdropping is considered ill-mannered.

It's not hard to notice things that are so blatant.
I am sure she had a nice time but we aren't blind to what is happening around us.

 

[harperlee]

My point is that this isn't anger at complete strangers. The anger was pain about something else. My post, perhaps not enough to the point, is for the op to notice the space required to be more entertained by two strangers than each other.

 

[snowbum]

I had a great time. I loved the time with my husband and I’m not bitter. There werent many people in the establishment and the guy was kiddie corner from me. Kind of hard not to hear when he’s speaking at full volume. Not eavesdropping when the guy is talking across other patrons
And again, dh and enjoyed our night😉

 

[ShatteredKat]

A couple of decades ago, (when I was younger), I worked in a factory with thousands of women - the majority of the work force. Those with integrity - called the place a Meat-Market. I thought that term was for bars. Many had idle chat about who was doing who. It was common.

My best was when I was in a "managers meeting" and another manager came in saying: "Mr. Yokel, there is an attractive Brunette with Green fingernail polish standing in the hall outside the door asking for you." One of the "pass-arounds" in the factory. Had a Penthouse Centerfold figure and long dark brown hair, perfect complexion and wore clothes more suited to going out to a club than a factory. Didn't bother to go to the door.

My point being "pick-up" activities happen at bars, supermarkets, work-places everywhere, even bank tellers at work.

 

[gaius]

Maybe they were both noticing what was going on.

That's even worse, her husband busy checking out a guy at the bar to see if he's wearing a wedding ring instead of paying attention to snowbum. I'd never suggest such a thing.

Honestly Diana, I've been out to eat a few hundred times with my wife. I wouldn't have noticed if Donald Trump was at the bar. Let alone if he was wearing a wedding ring. Sounds like there's a strand of jealousy at play. That guy was making all that effort to charm and woo that woman and her husband couldn't even keep a conversation going.

 

[snowbum]

First of all my husband and I did have a conversation going. That’s flat out wrong to state otherwise. I specifically stated 3 things that happened in an hour. I guess you’ve never heard someone talk in an obnoxiously loud voice.
Fwiw… we don’t suffer from a boring sex life or personal life. I commented on odd behavior from the guy sitting at the stool a foot from me at a pub. Whatever.
People can go out and be aware of others in their priximity. And no my husband wasn’t that in tune because the guy sat by me, not my husband

 

[Diana7]

That's even worse, her husband busy checking out a guy at the bar to see if he's wearing a wedding ring instead of paying attention to snowbum. I'd never suggest such a thing.

Honestly Diana, I've been out to eat a few hundred times with my wife. I wouldn't have noticed if Donald Trump was at the bar. Let alone if he was wearing a wedding ring. Sounds like there's a strand of jealousy at play. That guy was making all that effort to charm and woo that woman and her husband couldn't even keep a conversation going.

You are seeing this very differently from me. Some people are very observant and notice things without really trying. Believe it or not, you can be having a very enjoyable evening and actually still be aware of people a few feet away.
Jealousy? Not sure how you could possibly reach that conclusion from what was written.

 

[gaius]

You are seeing this very differently from me. Some people are very observant and notice things without really trying. Believe it or not, you can be having a very enjoyable evening and actually still be aware of people a few feet away.
Jealousy? Not sure how you could possibly reach that conclusion from what was written.

How many guys around you were wearing wedding rings last time you went out to dinner with your husband? And what were they talking about with their dates?

 

[Diana7]

How many guys around you were wearing wedding rings last time you went out to dinner with your husband? And what were they talking about with their dates?

I don't go to bars, but I often notice if people are wearing wedding rings.

 

[gaius]

I don't go to bars, but I often notice if people are wearing wedding rings.

Ok. But you have no specifics from the last time you went out to dinner with your husband. Which is pretty normal if you're having an entertaining time with the person you're with.

 

[snowbum]

Last comment: they was leaning in to me to talk to other people. Had we been at a table or booth it wouldn’t have been something I’d have been aware of.
When people carry on a conversation across you you notice. This wasn’t 15-20 ft away. It was 2-3. And the speaking volume was loud enough for others to hear. You’re making this into me ignoring my husband or 2 disconnected people out and not speaking. It was actually having space invaded by loud talkers. But as I said I observed an obvious interaction. I wasn’t straining, leaningetc

 

[snowbum]

Why do you insist I wasn’t having a good time. We were winding up our date and popped infoer a drink. Happily married 2) years together 30. Your conjecture is ridiculous.

 

[snowbum]

Meant to type 26 years and still enjoying each other 4-5 times a week. Hardly a shrewish bitter woman.