Opinions please! Husband and I been married over 20 years and together 3 years before marriage. I was on birth control pills for ten years before we met. A year into our marriage, we decided kids are ok so I came off the pill to give my body a break. We conceived quickly and had our first kid. We used condoms and withdrawal method after this birth. Husband was fine with it.
We discussed him having a vasectomy (I had a difficult labor so didn’t want to risk tubal ligation). He agreed to look into it. Then he chickened out.
The withdrawal method continued until we had the next kid (intentionally a year later). I almost bleed to death in labor for this kid. We then decided no more kids. Still, he refused a vasectomy.
So 15+ years have now passed. We have been doing withdrawal just fine. No issues. Five years ago, I began having yeast infections frequently. After dealing with this, I finally went to a specialist who cultured my vagina and saw a rare yeast that is not treated with normal yeast cream or diflucan pills. I went thru two years of hell battling this type of yeast. Multiple rounds of creams, suppositories, pills, everything to cure it. I finally went almost completely sugar free diet and it went away. I acquired vulvadynia as a result- hyper irritated tissues that are highly sensitive now.
Flash forward to a year ago. I go into early menopause. Hot flashes, night sweats galore. Also dry and atrophy of the vagina. My dr puts me on vaginal HRT. This took several iterations to get the formula right and not have constant irritation. Dr offers me oral or patch HRT- but I have relatives in my family who have had breast cancer. The vaginal cream miraculously cured the sweats and hot flashes. It helps my vagina about 75%. So I am trotting along trying my best to satisfy my husbands sexual needs (he has history of higher sex drive). We usually do it 3 times a week if the vagina is healthy- otherwise it can be 3-5 times a month if it is having a flare up.
So here is my issue- my lovely husband knows my vaginal issues. Suddenly he is making it his mission to ejaculate inside me. He talks about it a lot. One night I was out at the grocery store experiencing a flare up down there. I needed some emotional support from him. I call him up and spend 10 min or so describing the burning and itching. Side note- we had actually had sex a few days prior and I told him it was ok to ejaculate inside me. It was tingling afterwards, and it had been irritated since. I told him we need to back off doing that for a while. He wanted to know how long. I couldn’t give an answer- and he told me that cumming inside me was very important to him as he’s looked forward to it for years. I told him he wasn’t being very sympathetic to me. Sounds like he’s only concerned with ejaculating. This made him angry and he begins to yell at me.
So I ask him what if I can never let him cum in me again- is he going to leave me. No answer. I really got upset then. I am angry he seems only concerned with this and not me. Also- he didn’t answer me that of course he wouldn’t put that above me.
It isn’t fair that he went for years being a chicken regarding a vasectomy but now wants to pressure me to make this happen for him. I worry what he will do if he can’t get his way.