[Casual Observer]

I don't think this is off-topic... virtually all of my wife's various "down there" infections went away when we switched to coconut oil for lube. No more UTIs. No more yeast infections. The difference has been amazing. Regarding condoms, I actually encouraged that for a while because she thought the messiness of sex was a big issue for her. But she say's they're "too scratchy." Turns out they're actually a trigger from stuff in her past, but who knows, OP's issues could have some other additional basis as well.

Regarding tubal ligation vs vasectomy, I think it also depends upon the state of the marriage. If things aren't wonderful, the guy may have second thoughts about something that could come back to bite him in a later marriage. This was a very distinct issue for me. The woman may be "done" with kids, now and forever. Regardless of her feelings for the future of the marriage. The guy could have other ideas. Or vice versa.

 

[Casual Observer]

Well if he didn't get a vasectomy because he was thinking he might want children with another woman someday, thus choosing to keep that possibility open for a couple of decades and sacrificing "going in her" to do so during those decades, he's even a BIGGER **** NOW to complain that she's having medical issues and he can't go in her in this menopausal time. What an asshole.

I mean... it feels relationship ending (from her perspective), to me.

Agreed.

 

[Casual Observer]

I don't think this is off-topic... virtually all of my wife's various "down there" infections went away when we switched to coconut oil for lube. No more UTIs. No more yeast infections. The difference has been amazing. Regarding condoms, I actually encouraged that for a while because she thought the messiness of sex was a big issue for her. But she say's they're "too scratchy." Turns out they're actually a trigger from stuff in her past, but who knows, OP's issues could have some other additional basis as well.

Regarding tubal ligation vs vasectomy, I think it also depends upon the state of the marriage. If things aren't wonderful, the guy may have second thoughts about something that could come back to bite him in a later marriage. This was a very distinct issue for me. The woman may be "done" with kids, now and forever. Regardless of her feelings for the future of the marriage. The guy could have other ideas. Or vice versa.

This made me think of another possibility. If he feared that because she didn't get the tubal, and then died from a subsequent accidental pregnancy, he might be wanting to be sure he could have children with a later wife.

Variation on a theme. Point is, we tend to think in terms of preventing pregnancy as an absolute only from the wife's perspective. Not being able to have a kid in a future relationship could be very heavy baggage for a guy.