I agree with your thoughts on this too. I overshare, always in hopes that they'll someday accept me. My sister (who lives 5 hours away) doesn't do this, and tends to get along with them a little better these days. She's suggested I cut down the sharing of info, but it's hard when I get questioned, and I'm a terrible liar. I seriously couldn't pull the wool over a sheep's eyes. But yes, when she gives unwarranted advice, thanking her and telling her I'll consider it is a good idea. Feed her the kibbles of being needed, and I'm off the hook. I like that idea!Your mom may not actually expect you to do everything she tells you to. She may think it's her job to provide unwanted and unsolicited advice. You can thank her for her advice/input and tell her that you'll consider it. Then, go on your merry way and do exactly what you want. Mom got her mom kibbles (which allow her to think she is still needed) and you're off the hook. You've been reacting like a little girl - it's time to learn how to manage mom like an adult. Hint - flattery will get you everywhere.
I'd call my dad out on those over-the-top statements. That's childish on his part.